Showing posts with label devotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label devotion. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

In the Dark

The icy, wind creeps its way through the old windows.
Floor to ceiling exposure to the the cold. 
We gather blankets from the nooks and crannies of this old farm house. 
Trying to keep warm. 



With each blanket we fight against the elements. 
A struggle to keep winter at bay. 
With each blanket comes the dark. 

Warmth comes at a price. 

I fight to not let that darkness permeate my soul. 
It is so close. 
Waiting 
Patiently. 
For me to fall. 
For me to surrender to the dark. 
To all the pain. 
To a future that will never be. 

There is construction at the accident site. 


Workers walking all over the place where my child took has last breath. 
Digging in the earth. 
Taking measurements. 
Again, I fight against the dark. 

How do you do the dark?
What do you do on those days when all feels lost?
When the steps are hard. 

We are a week in to Lent. 
Into the time of pulling away. 
A time of intentional focus. 
A time when the One who came to seek and save sought solace 
He dug deep to endure the coming wrath. 
He purposefully took time to be in Communion with the Father. 

I have noticed each evening the sun set is a little later. 


The sun rise. . .a little earlier. 
Small insignificant amounts, until you see them as a whole. 

I can not see the whole picture of my life. 
I have a very narrow perspective. 

With a perspective shift, I see differently. 
The quilts over the windows give a cozy feel. 
Shadows cast from the glowing fire give a warmth to the room. 
Small lights add to the homey feel. 

Creating an atmosphere of light becomes a fun task. 
Candles add to the ambiance.
Warm cider and hot chocolate dominate the table. 

Inviting folks to the farmhouse table helps with the dreary. 



It is in the dark. 
In the quiet that we are most vulnerable. 
The place where we can be real. 
Time in confession. 
Peace and restoration. 
These moments are gifts. 
In the dark. 

I am seeking more. 

Psalm 19:14
May these words of my mouth
 and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
 LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Learning to find holiness in the mundane. 
In the hard. 
In the dark. 



My hope continues to lie in the One who tarried to the Cross. 
Who bore all so I might live. 

I am shaking off the dark. 
Stepping into the glow. 

Will you? 


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Fragmented to Repurposed

It's broken. 
This beautiful mug. 
It came in a package. 
From Germany. 
With love. 
A college room mate. 
A friend. 
Packed a box full of love. 
It made me laugh and cry. 
A hug from so far away. 
But one mug was broken. 
And it made me sad. 
Until. . . 
I held the fragments in my hands. 
Fragments. 
Fragmented. 
The way I feel. 
Most of the time. 
In pieces. 
Broken. 
Useless. 
Worthless. 
Spent. 
Fragmented. 
The pieces sat on the farm house table. 
Moved from one place to another. 
Until. . . 
Our friend Harold was sitting at the table. 
The engineer in him needed to put the puzzle together. 
He needed to solve the problem. 
Fix it. 
He glued each of those pieces back. 
Painstakingly tedious. 
Restored. 
Useful.
With a different purpose.
By a master. 

And there it was. 
The broken cup. 



So beautiful. 
Genuine. 
The pieces placed together again. 
The broken places visible. 
Imperfect. 
Not able to hold that hot, steamy liquid I so love. 
As I turned the mug over in my hands. 
It struck me. 

Repurpose.

Changing. 
Even the fragments from a broken mug can have a purpose. 
It's use; forever changed. 
Yet, still. 
A purpose. 
Some still unknown. 
A reminder. 
God takes the broken. 

He repurposes. 
He restores. 
Oh how he loves us. 
He will take this broken vessel.
He will take all this hurt and ache. 
He will use it for His glory. 
To bring Honor and glory to His name. 

I will never be the same. 
I am broken. 
I am tired. 
I am weary. 
Our God though. . . 

Psalm 121:4
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

He watches over all. 

It's been 27 months, 
on a journey I did not initiate. 
I trip I never planned.
A path I do not like. 
A way I must travel. 



With each breath I have left,
with each step I take. 
I will sing praise. 
I will keep my eyes turned heavenward. 

Psalm 121:1
 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.