Where Will This Journey Lead?

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love

Words. 

Ancient. 

New. 

Timely. 

Perfect. 

Words that penetrate the heart. 

Reaching deep into the aching hole. 

We can be refreshed and filled; even when we're hurting. 

I never knew I could know such peace. 

I never knew the intimacy I would feel with Christ when 
so much had been torn from me. 

I let the words wash over me as we sing. 
I hold this moment close.
I want to burn this message deep within. 
Hope. 
Beyond anything I could ever ask or imagine. 
When the world seems dark and empty. 
There is light. 
When I feel I can barely breathe another agonizing breath. 
There is hope. 

That at the name of Jesus every knee will bow and tongue confess. 
Jesus has brought me to this. 
He will bring me through it. 


There is strength in the name of the Lord
There is power in the name of the Lord
There is hope in the name of the Lord
Blessed is He, who comes in the name of the Lord

Read more: Sandi Patty - In The Name Of The Lord Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

With each step, I feel the strength God is pouring forth. 
He takes our brokenness and creates beauty. 
He reaches in and smooths the harsh edges. 

I still don't know where God is leading. 
I sometimes feel abandoned and alone. 
Fearful of what the future holds 
Fearful of life without Elijah. 
Fearful the cancer has returned. 

When I stand up close to God and allow Him to wash over me.
Those fears flee. 
God is able to do the work He longs to do. 

We are headed to the cross today. 
A day of intense emotion. 
A week that began with elation and praise as Jesus entered Jerusalem. 

Now ends with humiliation, death and grief. 

But that is not the end of the story. 

God was still writing. 

He wasn't done yet. 

We have to stay in the game to see the ending. 

Just when you think it was over. 
Death had the victory. 
What seemed impossible came to pass. 

The real ending came. 
Death was overcome. 
The stone was rolled away!
Death could not hold the Savior of the world. 
He rose from the agony of death. 

HE DEFEATED THE ENEMY.  

This Jesus, who today is mocked and ridiculed. 
Believers beheaded, this day, because of their faith in this Jesus. 
This Jesus is coming back friends. 
He is coming to take you and me -
To heaven; forever. 
The promise; fulfilled. 
There will be no more tears, no more pain.
Our anguish and grief will be no more. 


I want to stay in the game. 
I long to see how the rough spots will be smoothed. 
How God will do His work. 

On this Good Friday. 
While we hang in the balance. 
Waiting.
I will look to the cross. 


I am ready.
I am waiting. 

Those Dark Days; They Will Come

The dark of the day rises to meet me. 

The warmth of the previous days a tease. 

My son, my son, my soul cries out. 

I pass the accident site. 

Today. 

I slip. 

The images flash before me. 

Images I never saw. 

Images that played out while I slept. 

My darling red head. 

My first born son. 

Passed from this life while I slept. 

Oh, how I miss him. 

The deep, piercing ache creeps through my veins today. 
The wait for next tests for my farmer. 

I cling to the Ancient promises. 

The truth. 

This road will never be easy. 

Yet I want these times to glorify the One who allowed it to happen. 

Even in my lowest time; when the ache seems strongest, I cling to hope. 

There is always, always hope. 

Not the, "I hope I get a bike for Christmas" hope. 

The hope of the assurance of the grace of the King of Kings. 

He reaches down and comforts those who mourn. 
I remind myself of truth. 
Truth that Elijah is where we all long to be. 
There is a purpose and a plan. 

God will use all these pieces together; 
to bring glory and honor to his name. 
He will be exalted. 
He will be praised. 
I feel the icy hurt and fear begin to melt. 
The deep sense of peace and assurance, once again rises. 

My strength only comes from God on High. 
For me, there is no other way to walk this road. 
I pass the accident site a few more times this day. 
Each time praying fervently for holiness to reign in that spot. 
For memories of good times to come flooding through. 

The college girl is coming home. 
The oldest farm girl is heavy with child. 

Time is marching forward. 

If I don't embrace these moments; those too will be lost forever. 
So I choose, once again to push through these agonizing moments. 
To breathe deeply the hope in Christ. 
With feet planted on the solid rock of my Savior I press on. 
I will wait for the call for our new grandchild 
I will wait in hope for God's directions in our lives. 

Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD;
 he is our help and our shield.


And each day I will give Praise and Honor to the one who numbers our days. 

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; 
do you not perceive it? 
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Rays of Sunshine

The sun streams through the one window not covered by blankets. 

My farmer is finishing up chores. 

The farm boy has come in to play guitar and unwind before he heads to school.

How that boy is changing. 

He is shaking off the ways of this world;

letting of of the anger and hurt. 

Reaching for the holy and true. 

Slowly the sharp edges are becoming smooth. 

A bit of grace on the farm. 

The milk checks grow thinner. 

The transition date seems miles away. 

The cold settles in. 

Much to lead to the path of discouragement. 

It's test day. 

And I don't know what to feel. 

I don't know how to pray. 

So I step to gratitude. 

Because when all else falls around you, there is still praise. 

There is still a world of hope. 

The sun shining through the window as the wind whips and howls reminds me of the power of light in the darkness. 

Only a small light is needed to pierce the empty, cold space. 

May you see streams of light in your day today. 

Illuminating the dark places. 

Bringing sweet peace and strength. 

The verse today from the Incourage Twitter:

"Prayer is the portal that brings the power of heaven down to earth"

(Fervent, pg 5)

In the Dark

The icy, wind creeps its way through the old windows.

Floor to ceiling exposure to the the cold. 

We gather blankets from the nooks and crannies of this old farm house. 

Trying to keep warm. 

With each blanket we fight against the elements. 

A struggle to keep winter at bay. 

With each blanket comes the dark. 

Warmth comes at a price. 

I fight to not let that darkness permeate my soul. 

It is so close. 

Waiting 

Patiently. 

For me to fall. 

For me to surrender to the dark. 

To all the pain. 

To a future that will never be. 

There is construction at the accident site. 

Workers walking all over the place where my child took has last breath. 

Digging in the earth. 

Taking measurements. 

Again, I fight against the dark. 

How do you do the dark?
What do you do on those days when all feels lost?
When the steps are hard. 

We are a week in to Lent. 
Into the time of pulling away. 
A time of intentional focus. 
A time when the One who came to seek and save sought solace 
He dug deep to endure the coming wrath. 
He purposefully took time to be in Communion with the Father. 

I have noticed each evening the sun set is a little later. 

The sun rise. . .a little earlier. 
Small insignificant amounts, until you see them as a whole. 

I can not see the whole picture of my life. 
I have a very narrow perspective. 

With a perspective shift, I see differently. 
The quilts over the windows give a cozy feel. 
Shadows cast from the glowing fire give a warmth to the room. 
Small lights add to the homey feel. 

Creating an atmosphere of light becomes a fun task. 
Candles add to the ambiance.
Warm cider and hot chocolate dominate the table. 

Inviting folks to the farmhouse table helps with the dreary. 

It is in the dark. 
In the quiet that we are most vulnerable. 
The place where we can be real. 
Time in confession. 
Peace and restoration. 
These moments are gifts. 
In the dark. 

I am seeking more. 

Psalm 19:14
May these words of my mouth
 and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
 LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Learning to find holiness in the mundane. 
In the hard. 
In the dark. 

My hope continues to lie in the One who tarried to the Cross. 
Who bore all so I might live. 

I am shaking off the dark. 
Stepping into the glow. 

Will you? 

How Will You Spend Lent?

Today is the beginning of Lent. 

 Jesus' journey into the wilderness. 

A journey he took willingly. 

Alone. 

For forty days. 

The bible is quiet on what happened during that time. 

One is left pondering what the Savior endured.

We know his sustenance did not come from food. 

He feasted on time with God. 

He knew what was coming. 

His time; short. 

Death drew near. 

Yet he purposed on. 

He went to the wilderness so he could feast on the Goodness that awaited. 

When Jesus stepped out from the wilderness.

The enemy Satan was right there to greet him. 
He gave him no time or warning. 
He was right there to use the very thing he wanted most; against him. 

Our weary and hungry Savior faced this challenge the way we each should. 

Armed with the word of God. 

He didn't stutter and wonder what to say. 

He didn't complain about how tired and hungry he was. 
He didn't ask, if they could possibly to this at a more convenient time. 

No. 

He simply met adversity with Scripture. 

One.

Matthew 4:1-11

And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 And the tempter came and said to him,“If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” 4 But he answered, “It is written,

“‘Man shall not live by bread alone,

    but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Satan tries to use Jesus' tactic against him.
 Quoting scripture.
But Jesus sticks to the only Truth He knows. 

Two.

Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple 6 and said to him, 
“If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down,

 for it is written,‘He will command his angels concerning you,’and

“‘On their hands they will bear you up,

    lest you strike your foot against a stone.’”

7 Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

Three.

 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” 10 Then Jesus said to him,“Be gone, Satan! For it is written,

“‘You shall worship the Lord your God

    and him only shall you serve.’”

Bam!
And with the Ancient Word.
Satan was pushed away.

Then the devil left him, and behold, 

angels came and were ministering to him.

Over the years I have come to appreciate the challenge of adding an attribute of Christs nature for my Lenten challenge. 

Instead of giving up something. 

I try to work on an area in great need in my life. 

Aren't we all in need of challenges to be more Christ like? 

Won't you join me in this journey? 

Ephesians 4:22-24

that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

I seek that which is Holy. 

I long for the joy of surrender. 

My character is being shaped by the one who bore the

 scars for my sake. 

We journey to Jesus by way of the Cross. 

With knees bowed low and hands lifted high we are changed. 

Moment by moment. 

Grace upon Grace. 

The Hope In Good Friday

It is Good Friday. 

The day we remember. 

The life that was given. 

The day He gave all, so we may live. 

Ann Voskamp in her way says so much. 

Click on the link to read her words of hope. 

When You're Tired of Feeling Torn.  

Ann Voskamp

Last year we were remembering a dear saint in the faith. 

One whose home going I still wrestle with. 

A man of such unwavering faith. 

So giving. 

Such an encouragement to us in our raw grief. 

Such a help to my hurting heart. 

It's been a year of digging deep. 

Not finding even ground yet.

A year trying to understand. 

Today we lean into Jesus' walk to Glory. 

His purposeful steps to the Cross. 

One step in front of the other. . .

To eternity. 

For you and for me. 

Oh, what love. 

Such intensity, I can hardly bear. 

It was my sin that held him there. 

Until it was accomplished. 

His dying breath has brought me life. 

I know that it is finished. 

 -How Deep The Father's Love For Us

And so we wait. 

For Heaven to Proclaim the Glory. 

For the celebration. 

Because the tomb could NOT hold Him!

Selah

How Deep The Father's Love For Us

How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond our measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away. . . 

As wounds that mar the chosen One

Bring Many Sons to Glory!

Maundy Thursday

It's Maundy Thursday. 

A Holy Day. 

The last day that Jesus walked this earth. 

He knew his journey. 

He willingly went. 

The Cost of The Cross.  

Click on the link. 

My thoughts from last year are still echoed in my heart today,

"The journey Jesus took to the cross is the defining piece of my faith. He came into Jerusalem Hailed as King and left Jerusalem via the cross.He took on the dirty and broken; so that we might live. He died to save a wretch like me; when He himself was sinless."

Revisiting, "The Rest of The Story"

It's April first. 
I wake heavy with grief. 
It has no boundaries. 
Time limits. 
Warnings. 
I reflect on last years post. 
God is not finished. . . yet. 
We, each one of us, are valued. 
Created with a purpose. 
For a reason. 
Read on, and if your heart is weary; may you be encouraged. 
If your heart soars today; may you be an encouragement to others. 
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Repost from April 3, 2014

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 I don't necessarily like part 2's.

I like things to wrap up nicely and be done.

Finished.

I don't live that way.

I leave many things unfinished.

Incomplete.

But with others things I want it finished.

 I found after yesterday's post. That there was the "rest of the story"

There was more to flush out in the day.

Because everyday is the Lord's

Psalm 118:24

This is the day the LORD has made.

 We will rejoice and be glad in it.

I recognized that it was His day.

I gave praise.

But rejoicing these days is hard.

My soul is peaceful and I recognize God's handiwork all around.

But I was not feeling like rejoicing or even being glad.

I was reminded of the blessing God hands to us.

I don't know why he has us on this road.

I don't know why in a matter of 12 months I have had so much grief sorrow and uncertainty.

But I need to turn from the circumstances and embrace the promises.
His rest and peace are available.

My faith is not tethered to the earthly circumstances; which bend and sway.

The sun will shine and some days it won't.

My faith is rooted in much more.

God sees the bigger picture. 

I am finite and limited in my ability to even fathom a glimpse of  his infinite grace. 

I may not be able to completely understand all of what's happening; 

but I know enough to rejoice in the here and now. 

While God doesn't take away our pain; or fix the trouble we are facing; he is there. 

His word never fails. 

Isaiah 55:11

so is my word that goes out from my mouth: 

It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and 

achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

He is working his will through us. 

And he will remain by our side through all of it. 

Just because.

He loves us.

Just because.

Not because we're great or we're good.

Not because we have worked so hard.

He loves us.

Despite who we are.

He loves us.

Just because.
He's big enough to carry all our burdens. He's promised to walk with us through it all.
This journey is difficult. 
He never promised it would be easy.
He is providing blessings along the way.
Ways to see. 
A card in the mail.
A friend stopping over to give encouragement through sugar.
Folks reminding us they are walking these steps with us.
Prayer for the farmer who walks with the joy thief that won't quit.
Snow beginning to melt.
Sunshine with warmth permeating our souls.
Hope. 
Our race is not yet finished.
Elijah's was. 

We need to persevere.
And step by step we will.

Because there is still, The rest of "His" story. 

If you're struggling hold on tight. 

Run to his word.

Remain in hope. And let Him write your story.