To Hold the Moment

The petals danced in the wind. 

Pale, pink blossoms showering the yard. 

Spinning, whirling.

Images of Anne of Green Gables

The White Way of Delight flutter through my mind. 

Delightful visions.

This tree. 

This moment. 

I want to hold it. 

The beauty.

To behold. 

If we choose. 

I may have missed the significance;

closed my eyes to what needed to be seen.

We dash through life. 

Event to event. 

Attempts to numb pain. 

Create a rush. 

Rare do we pause; 

until moments like this;

create the occasion to see.

The magnitude of loss; still present, 

the waiting on ct scans and organic transition still there. 

But for a moment. 

Time stood still. 

The holy touched the earth. 

Something greater than myself spoke life and

 breath into the deepest place in my being. 

A moment that transcended this life as we know it. 

I Chronicles 16:29
Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.

Living Life

A busy day. 

Nothing new; 

except the feeling. 

All day. 

Something. 

Not right. 

The Cast Party. 

Families. 

Dancers. 

Food. 

Decorating. 

Arabian Nights. 

Alladin. 

So much to do. 

Purposefully stepping one foot in front of the other. 

Work. 

Grief. 

Talk truth. 

Verse after verse. 

To my weary heart. 

Jeremiah 31:3

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

It just seemed so hard today. 

Pictures I hadn't ever seen. 

Quiet moments driving. 

Remembering. 

Finding it hard to believe he's really gone. 

That red hair. 

The silly, lopsided grin. 

I reach for words of truth. 

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Until I remembered.

 33 months. 

I stop in my tracks. 

Life is marching forward. 

I hadn't even remembered the date. 

I hadn't understood why the day was unsettled. 

The farm house is quieting down. 

Just the farm boy is stirring. 

The day is coming to a close. 

I have much to be thankful for. 

The evening spent with some of this area's finest young people and their families. 

Young people that have drawn along side of us and never let us go. 

I can't think of a better way to have spent this day. 

Preparing. 

Decorating. 

Creating. 

My farmer helping too. 

Now the day is done. 

It's time to rest. 

Continuing to step into truth. 

Remembering I am held. 

Good Night my Lijy. 

I still miss you with every fiber of my being. 

I loved your grin. 

That sparkle in your eye. 

It's how you looked at me the night you left. 

So excited. 

I will spend the rest of my days learning how to live without you. 

Stepping into the plan God has. 

Yielding to His ways. 

Trusting in the plan. 

Gaining strength that only He can provide. 

Keep my feet on solid ground. 

Sunshine Spilled Over

Sunshine spilled over on Resurrection Sunday. 

Warmth. 

Family. 

Food.

The empty tomb. 

The Cross set before us. 

A symbol. 

Hope. 

What was meant for evil. 

God meant for good. 

Sometimes you can't help but embrace the bad to understand the good. 

2 years and 8 months. 

 A journey to walk with purpose.

Seeking to discover, under the shadow of His wing. 

Ever longing for all to be made right. 

The tomb is empty. 

The Savior Risen. 

The hope of all Nations for a broken people. 

The sun beats down on us at my sister in laws. 

Her family walking the grief road. 

The first Easter without my nephew. 

The children without their father. 

Reaching out in hope. 

Stepping into the unknown. 

We sit together. 

Grateful. 

For each other. 

Laughing. 

Remembering. 

Life springing forth in the gardens that were my mother in laws. 

Precious bulbs pressing through the depth of the dark. 

Reaching for light. 

Reminders of the beauty in the struggle. 

When we are anchored to the Rock. 

Psalm 18:2

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

It's been a great weekend of celebration on the farm. 

My farmers 60th. 

A gathering of family and friends. 

A shower of cards. 

Easter Sunday. 

Celebrated around the rich gathering of generations.

The birds have begun their joyous chorus this morning. 

Signs of Spring; seen if you look. 

Do you have eyes to see? 

I am asking God to keep my eyes wide open to 

not miss the beauty He has in store. 

 Resting in the hope given to us. 

I miss my son with all my being. 

The ache so deep.

Yet I believe God is working a purpose greater than I understand. 

I pray that you have eyes to see the glory that God is unfolding. 

I pray that you walk with hope; even when the way is rough. 

Walking today in deep hope, while clinging to the Rock. 

What about you? 

Where Will This Journey Lead?

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love

Words. 

Ancient. 

New. 

Timely. 

Perfect. 

Words that penetrate the heart. 

Reaching deep into the aching hole. 

We can be refreshed and filled; even when we're hurting. 

I never knew I could know such peace. 

I never knew the intimacy I would feel with Christ when 
so much had been torn from me. 

I let the words wash over me as we sing. 
I hold this moment close.
I want to burn this message deep within. 
Hope. 
Beyond anything I could ever ask or imagine. 
When the world seems dark and empty. 
There is light. 
When I feel I can barely breathe another agonizing breath. 
There is hope. 

That at the name of Jesus every knee will bow and tongue confess. 
Jesus has brought me to this. 
He will bring me through it. 


There is strength in the name of the Lord
There is power in the name of the Lord
There is hope in the name of the Lord
Blessed is He, who comes in the name of the Lord

Read more: Sandi Patty - In The Name Of The Lord Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

With each step, I feel the strength God is pouring forth. 
He takes our brokenness and creates beauty. 
He reaches in and smooths the harsh edges. 

I still don't know where God is leading. 
I sometimes feel abandoned and alone. 
Fearful of what the future holds 
Fearful of life without Elijah. 
Fearful the cancer has returned. 

When I stand up close to God and allow Him to wash over me.
Those fears flee. 
God is able to do the work He longs to do. 

We are headed to the cross today. 
A day of intense emotion. 
A week that began with elation and praise as Jesus entered Jerusalem. 

Now ends with humiliation, death and grief. 

But that is not the end of the story. 

God was still writing. 

He wasn't done yet. 

We have to stay in the game to see the ending. 

Just when you think it was over. 
Death had the victory. 
What seemed impossible came to pass. 

The real ending came. 
Death was overcome. 
The stone was rolled away!
Death could not hold the Savior of the world. 
He rose from the agony of death. 

HE DEFEATED THE ENEMY.  

This Jesus, who today is mocked and ridiculed. 
Believers beheaded, this day, because of their faith in this Jesus. 
This Jesus is coming back friends. 
He is coming to take you and me -
To heaven; forever. 
The promise; fulfilled. 
There will be no more tears, no more pain.
Our anguish and grief will be no more. 


I want to stay in the game. 
I long to see how the rough spots will be smoothed. 
How God will do His work. 

On this Good Friday. 
While we hang in the balance. 
Waiting.
I will look to the cross. 


I am ready.
I am waiting. 

How Will You Spend Lent?

Today is the beginning of Lent. 

 Jesus' journey into the wilderness. 

A journey he took willingly. 

Alone. 

For forty days. 

The bible is quiet on what happened during that time. 

One is left pondering what the Savior endured.

We know his sustenance did not come from food. 

He feasted on time with God. 

He knew what was coming. 

His time; short. 

Death drew near. 

Yet he purposed on. 

He went to the wilderness so he could feast on the Goodness that awaited. 

When Jesus stepped out from the wilderness.

The enemy Satan was right there to greet him. 
He gave him no time or warning. 
He was right there to use the very thing he wanted most; against him. 

Our weary and hungry Savior faced this challenge the way we each should. 

Armed with the word of God. 

He didn't stutter and wonder what to say. 

He didn't complain about how tired and hungry he was. 
He didn't ask, if they could possibly to this at a more convenient time. 

No. 

He simply met adversity with Scripture. 

One.

Matthew 4:1-11

And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 And the tempter came and said to him,“If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” 4 But he answered, “It is written,

“‘Man shall not live by bread alone,

    but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Satan tries to use Jesus' tactic against him.
 Quoting scripture.
But Jesus sticks to the only Truth He knows. 

Two.

Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple 6 and said to him, 
“If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down,

 for it is written,‘He will command his angels concerning you,’and

“‘On their hands they will bear you up,

    lest you strike your foot against a stone.’”

7 Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

Three.

 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” 10 Then Jesus said to him,“Be gone, Satan! For it is written,

“‘You shall worship the Lord your God

    and him only shall you serve.’”

Bam!
And with the Ancient Word.
Satan was pushed away.

Then the devil left him, and behold, 

angels came and were ministering to him.

Over the years I have come to appreciate the challenge of adding an attribute of Christs nature for my Lenten challenge. 

Instead of giving up something. 

I try to work on an area in great need in my life. 

Aren't we all in need of challenges to be more Christ like? 

Won't you join me in this journey? 

Ephesians 4:22-24

that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

I seek that which is Holy. 

I long for the joy of surrender. 

My character is being shaped by the one who bore the

 scars for my sake. 

We journey to Jesus by way of the Cross. 

With knees bowed low and hands lifted high we are changed. 

Moment by moment. 

Grace upon Grace. 

Just Before Dawn

Psalm 28:7

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

The dark still lingers. 

Coffee perked. 

The morning sounds beginning. 

My farmer and girls; still milking. 

The pause before the day begins. 

One of my favorite times of day. 

It is the time I feel most in tune with my Savior. 

The time when my heart is full. 

When I feel strong. 

It is after my feet have touched the floor. 

The moments where my soul has been refreshed in the Ancient Word. 

Each day holding on to a truth. 

A verse to cling to. 

Holding a steaming cup of coffee. 

I breathe deep. 

I let go of the thoughts that seek to discourage. 

I hold fast the truth. 

I step into the newness of the day. 

This is work each day. 

I am ready for what God will send my way. 

There is nothing He and I can not handle together. 

I want to see where He leads. 

I long for lives to be changed. 

Hope.

I long to be used by Him for His work. 

Won't you step into that path today? 

Lay down those burdens. 

Seek a better way.

With God, all things are possible. 

Matthew 19:26

Jesus looked at them and said,

 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Our Perspective is Everything

I wake to a head ache. 

The dull, throbbing kind.  

It's time for milking. 

My farmer brings me an Advil. 

I fall back to sleep. 

When I wake again it is to moon beams streaming into the room. 

I glance out the window. 

The view breath taking. 

The moon; full, bright. 

Illuminating. 

I lay there for a moment. 

Those first few moments of waking are always difficult. 

I purposefully change my thoughts. 

2 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments 

and every pretension that sets itself up against 

the knowledge of God, 

and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Each morning. 

I reach for truth.

The promises given. 

The hope available. 

The moon beckons. 

It draws me to gratitude. 

I step out of bed. 

It's freezing cold.

I quickly head to the kitchen. 

The smell of coffee permeates the air. 

I turn on the stove. 

It is just as cold out here. 

I continue to shift my perspective. 

My friends this is work. 

It is hard. 

It can be done. 

Moment by moment. 

Gracious living. 

The warmth of the fire begins to break through the chill. 

Chickens need to be fed. 

We need to get ready to leave. 

It's time for the college girl to continue her studies. 

Oh, how I have enjoyed her home. 

Her infectious laugh. 

The feisty personality. 

This part of parenting is the hardest part for me. 

I want all my chicks in the nest. 

I love them here. 

Each one part of the fabric that makes this family who they are. 

Time changes those moments, though. 

What once was,

is no more but a memory. 

The here, is now. 

And what is to be, is not yet; 

full of hope and wonder. 

It is these things that propel my walk today. 

What once was a trip to Haiti,

 is now forming and shaping the what is to be. 

These are the thoughts I cling to as we prepare to head out the door. 

There is a plan, set in motion before the dawn of time. 

We are a people not without hope. 

Each day a journey guided by the Master. 

Clinging to the Ancient Word. 

I don't have this. 

I am too broken and unstable to "have this". 

But God does. 

As the day begins to dawn I am almost ready. 

Not quite. 

But almost. 

I warm my clothes by the fire. 

I reach for more than grief. 

I cultivate a heart aligned with the One who longs to guide my steps. 

It's time to start the car. 

More than 8 hours with my farmer. 

Such a rare and beautiful gift. 

Part of that with the college girl. 

It will be a treat. 

Time together always is. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a time for everything, 

and a season for every activity under the heavens: