Our Perspective is Everything

I wake to a head ache. 

The dull, throbbing kind.  

It's time for milking. 

My farmer brings me an Advil. 

I fall back to sleep. 

When I wake again it is to moon beams streaming into the room. 

I glance out the window. 

The view breath taking. 

The moon; full, bright. 

Illuminating. 

I lay there for a moment. 

Those first few moments of waking are always difficult. 

I purposefully change my thoughts. 

2 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments 

and every pretension that sets itself up against 

the knowledge of God, 

and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Each morning. 

I reach for truth.

The promises given. 

The hope available. 

The moon beckons. 

It draws me to gratitude. 

I step out of bed. 

It's freezing cold.

I quickly head to the kitchen. 

The smell of coffee permeates the air. 

I turn on the stove. 

It is just as cold out here. 

I continue to shift my perspective. 

My friends this is work. 

It is hard. 

It can be done. 

Moment by moment. 

Gracious living. 

The warmth of the fire begins to break through the chill. 

Chickens need to be fed. 

We need to get ready to leave. 

It's time for the college girl to continue her studies. 

Oh, how I have enjoyed her home. 

Her infectious laugh. 

The feisty personality. 

This part of parenting is the hardest part for me. 

I want all my chicks in the nest. 

I love them here. 

Each one part of the fabric that makes this family who they are. 

Time changes those moments, though. 

What once was,

is no more but a memory. 

The here, is now. 

And what is to be, is not yet; 

full of hope and wonder. 

It is these things that propel my walk today. 

What once was a trip to Haiti,

 is now forming and shaping the what is to be. 

These are the thoughts I cling to as we prepare to head out the door. 

There is a plan, set in motion before the dawn of time. 

We are a people not without hope. 

Each day a journey guided by the Master. 

Clinging to the Ancient Word. 

I don't have this. 

I am too broken and unstable to "have this". 

But God does. 

As the day begins to dawn I am almost ready. 

Not quite. 

But almost. 

I warm my clothes by the fire. 

I reach for more than grief. 

I cultivate a heart aligned with the One who longs to guide my steps. 

It's time to start the car. 

More than 8 hours with my farmer. 

Such a rare and beautiful gift. 

Part of that with the college girl. 

It will be a treat. 

Time together always is. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a time for everything, 

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Stepping into the Hope Promised, When All I Really Want to do is Throw a Tantrum

"May we cherish a grateful and cheerful disposition, not murmuring and repining if our wishes are not indulged, or because some sorrows are blended with our enjoyments,  But, sensible of our desert, and impressed with the number and greatness of thy benefits, may we bless and praise thee at all times."

My friend sends me this quote. 

I am so grateful for her. 

A book of Puritan prayers. 

The apostle Paul says it this way,

Phillipians 4:12

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Being content in all circumstances. 

I am a great offender of this concept.

Highly verbal in nature, I spew. 

Really. 

Venomous at times. 

A way to work through thoughts and concepts. 

Reactive. 

Almost like a tantrum; at my age. 

Guilty. 

 "May we cherish a grateful and cheerful disposition, not murmuring and repining  if our wishes are not indulged. . ."

This act is work for me. 

My default to "repine if my wishes are not indulged."

The sinful heart.

Strong in nature. 

When we step out of ourselves; contrary to what the world teaches; 

 we are able to aspire to attain this trait. 

As land is cultivated to produce a crop. 

So is our heart in desperate need of cultivation. 

As the walk without my son continues. 

My journey presses on with much work to do. 

Soul work is hard. 

Living in truth; imperative. 

Each day a gift. 

My friends, yield to the Father. 

To the One who created you. 

Walk a journey of gratitude. 

Giving praise for the rough spots. 

Giving praise for the good. 

God will take that soul and mold it into something beautiful. 

One more sleep until the college girl heads back. 

My soul feels edgy and tight. 

The tension of excitement for her and missing; battling in my spirit. 

I kick my default of grumbling out. 

I rest in praise. 

The hope for this college girl. 

The way in which she will help to shape this world. 

Her future is held in the hands of the One who called her by Name. 

He is working His purpose and will in her life. 

It will be better than anything I could think or imagine,

because it is His doing. 

Isaiah 43:19

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; 

do you not perceive it? 

I am making a way in the wilderness 

and streams in the wasteland.

I surrender the emotion and sadness. 

I step into the hope promised. 

I work at  "cherishing a grateful and cheerful disposition"

Jesus Came to Change Our Lives. Not Our Circumstances.

Last year. 

My farmer and College girl where in Haiti on this day. 

Now they've been again. 

Here is a re-post of thoughts on Water. 

One of our most important resources. 

Do You Have A Decent Source of Water? 

John 4:14

but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.

 Indeed, the water I give them 

will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Water

An integral part of our life. 

Without it; we can not survive. 

Yet there are nations that struggle. 

Clean drinking water - scarce. 

Their survival in the balance. 

Poverty a way of life. 

Needy. 

Jesus repeatedly used analogies involving  water. 

It is something we all need. 

Crave. 

Can not live without. 

Yet, He comes, this Jesus, as the Living Water. 

In a parched and dry land. 

Through life in Him, our thirst quenched.
Never will we thirst again. 

And here in this poverty stricken land of Haiti. 

Where by most standards they have nothing. 

Their joy is apparent. 

They lack much. 

Yet lack nothing. 

. 

Jesus came to change our lives. 

Not our circumstances. 

This life giving water is free. 

With it;

We will never thirst again. 

John 7:37

"Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.

Marsha Stevens

Come To The Water

And Jesus said, "Come to the water, stand by my side. 

I know you are thirsty. You won't be denied. 

I felt every teardrop when in darkness you cried 

And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died."

When the Quiet Still Hangs in the Air

While the early morning quiet still hung in the air. 

The phone rang.

Love on the line from Haiti. 

A quick hello and good bye. 

While the news blares Presidential Candidate 

updates and tolerance and intolerance are debated. 

A group is in Haiti. 

Sharing, loving, building, sweating in the name of Jesus. 

The noon time heat is intense. 

So they chose to get to work early. 

They headed to the boys home to build a Safe-T home. 

Temporary shelter for a people longing for a home. 

New beginnings; glimmers of hope. 

The wifi connection is spotty. 

So communication is limited. 

A stark reminder of how dependent we are on fast paced communication. 

Immediate access to information. 

Texting. 

Ways to communicate, never having to speak a word. 

The youngest and I find ourselves alone. 

We go to a friends to watch a movie.

This movie spoke a message loud and clear. 

A message that resonates with my heart. 

Prayer is important. 

We are fighting a War. 

A war for our children's souls. 

Our marriages. 

Our everyday living. 

There is a battle. 

A battle that says you're not good enough. 

This is what you need to be happy. 

A culture that continues to tell us, if we just have this, 

then we can be happy. 

We just need "stuff" to make us happy. 

We need to put ourselves first. 

And then we'll be happy. 

Oh my. 

No, no. 

This is not how it works. 

It is not until we surrender.

Put Jesus first, that is where our happiness begins. 

This. 

This is joy. 

This is love. 

This is not where he wanted to go. 

If he had put himself first, he would be here, on the farm, 

taking care of chores. 

Because that is what he wanted to do. 

Instead he went in obedience. (sort of) 

And God has met him there. 

In his brokenness and deep missing. 

This is love from Haiti. 

This make my mama's heart sing. 

This takes the ache and fills that deep, deep hole with grace. 

We've got one shot in this world to make it count;

to make a difference. 

When the world shouts to us that we need more. 

We need this or that to be happy. 

We need to silence those voices. 

We need to bow our knee to the One who breathes life into us; 

who knows the plans He has for us. 

(photo credit-Kayli Leavitt)

I am not here to become successful or rich. 

I am here to serve; in whatever way God chooses. 

I do not know what that looks like long term. 

What I know is that here, in this moment, I need to be in prayer. 

In the quiet. 

In the chaos. 

In the confusion and busyness. 

No matter the journey. 

Looking heavenward. 

Stepping into obedience even when it's hard. 

Finding joy where God leads. 

Even in the heartache. 

Even when I am disappointed. 

Even when I don't understand. 

I have open and complete access to God. 

He never slumbers nor sleeps. 

Psalm 121:4

He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

There is never poor service or a busy signal. 

You don't have to leave a message or stand in line. 

He's there. 

Waiting. 

Longing. 

As I continue to wait to hear from Haiti. 

I will do the work I have been called to do. 

In humble submission, before a loving and Powerful God. 

While I wait to hear from Haiti. 

I will bend my knee and raise my hands in Praise to the 

One who calls me by name.

For these moments are rich. 

They are not to be missed. 

I will do what I am called to do here. 

Reaching for More

2016.

It's here. 

With marching orders. 

Time. 

Progressing. 

At an ever increasing speed. 

Yet constant. 

Away from all that I know. 

Further. 

Towards the unknown. 

Time. 

I am glad 2015 is over. 

2 dear friends; gone to be with Jesus. 

A nephew. 

A father of 4 and a former colleague. 

Sometimes I can't face the loss. 

It seems that it comes so quickly. 

The weight. 

You feel. 

For others. 

But 2015 also held graduation for our now college girl. 

Visits from dear friends. 

A birthday party, for the double digit girl. 

Held at my friends 

who now calls heaven her home. 

Time with family. 

The news of another farmette.

Moments that I cherish. 

That can be overpowered by the grief. 

A tool used to discouraged. 

So beauty is not seen. 

Time moves forward whether our hearts are ready. 

Some moments I feel strong. 

The living rich and full. 

Always missing. 

Yet still ebbing forward. 

Other moments the defeat is great. 

The ache deep. 

So with eyes I glance heavenward.  

Psalm 121:1-3

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

2My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

3He will not let your foot be moved;

he who keeps you will not slumber. -ESV

The source of my strength resides in the hands of the One who created me;

with a plan. 

For a purpose.

A beautiful gift. 

2016 is before us. 

Choices to be made. 

Walk each day in grace, seeking truth and direction as He wills; 

Or stay stuck in the muck and mire this world delivers?

It is easy to stay stuck.

 Succumbing to the grief and heaviness. 

To climb and reach high. 

Takes effort. 

Work. 

Putting off all that discourages. 

Taking a step of faith. 

So here I stand. 

With open hands. 

Ready. 

Waiting with expectancy for what will be. 

I am standing on that solid rock. 

Reaching for Truth. 

Believing. 

He will never let me fall. 

He will always walk beside us. 

No matter the struggle. 

May you reach for the grace that is given. 

Freely. 

What? November is Over Already? Day # 30 of Thankfulness

We were off the farm for a little over 24 hours.

Attending a baptism. 

Being with family. 

Trying to embrace this new change. 

Pushing through the loss and grief and all we have known. 

We have been blessed. 

It's so hard because it was so good. 

Not perfect. 

At all. 

But good. 

And the memories made; a treasure. 

We want that for our kids. 

Memories. 

Laughter. 

Family. 

Grace. 

This last day of November is the 30th day of Thankfulness. 

My how this month has flown by. 

Each day wanting, trying, working to enter Thankfully. 

Why is it so hard to walk with gratitude? 

Why is my default always grumbling and complaining. 

The Israelite's were not even to the Red Sea, after their Exodus from Egypt before they were desiring to go back. 

Wanting to go to what was familiar. 

Even though it included slavery and opression. 

But Moses told them,

Eodus 14:14

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

God is at work. 

He is fighting for me. . . He is fighting for you. 

Picture that. 

Someone, loves you enough to be fighting for you. 

We can't always see how it is going. 

It may not feel like anything is happening. 

All we see is heartache and turmoil. 

I assure you. 

He is fighting. 

He is holding tightly and will never let you go. 

Ever.

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:
reminders that I am loved and held by the Author and
 Creator of this vast Universe
 joy that comes from deep within
moments of reflection and quiet
coffee and the warmth of a fire

a light dusting of snow after these long beautiful fall days

a farm boy who turns the Christmas Tree lights on as soon as he gets home

the smell of clean laundry

grace, that covers a multitude of sin

the act of intentional gratitude

the hope of Advent

the memories I hold so dear

brothers who are silly and goofy

sisters in laws that love my brothers

another day to seek and serve as God's child

I hope these 30 days of Thankfulness have strengthened

 your walk with God. 

That walking intentionally into gratitude leaves you full of grace and mercy for those around you. 

They say that it takes 30 days to establish a habit. 

It will take me years of walking this path purposefully to shake the complaining gene. 

But I am willing to walk the path to greater living. 

May I someday be able to say as Paul did.

He had learned, no matter what he face, to be content in all circumstances. 

Philippians 4:12

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

May we all continue to name our gratitude each and every day. 

A little Late But So Grateful Day # 20 of Thankfulness

I'm weary. 

500 plus miles in a little over 24 hours.

A baptism. 

Family time. 

Photo shoots. 

All time, marching on. 

I'm powerless to stop it. 

Living needs to continue. 

Change. 

Hard. 

Inevitable.

Hebrews 6:19

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. 

It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,

My hope is secure

I still don't like this change. 

But I need to press on. 

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

Moments with my dad 

new life

the waters of baptism 

cousins

giggles and laughter

a shared meal

Christmas decorations

the farmette and her mommy and daddy who drive 2 hours to be with us

a farmer who stays up until midnight watching Hallmark

 movies with my brother

a niece who gave so we could get away

We get to do this life once. 

I pray that my eyes are wide open to see all that God will do. 

I don't want to be so distracted that I miss what is right in front of me.