I fight with all I have to stay in the "what I know's". Do you ever feel that? Someone sent me this verse. It is one that brings such comfort.
Yet the pull of the "what I know's" inches me forward. I don't want to be the same. I see the world differently. Every situation changed. I want to feel more. I want to embrace more. I want to share this undying love God has for all. I shudder to think of those who walk this journey of pain without a Savior.
What I know is that God will never leave me nor forsake me. I know He will walk every step of the weary road with me. I know that he will not take this road from me. I need to walk it. . .I know we are not alone. Many grieve with us and I know together we will continue this road.
I went to the grocery store for the first time in 7 weeks. A friend came with me. I wanted to fight against the normalcy of the whole thing. There is nothing normal about my life any more. The tears came as I sat in the car. The task completed.
I went out and helped Gary at the barn to find a missing cow. And I went for a walk.
I will continue to put one foot in front of the other.
I will breathe in and out.
And with each breath, I will thank God for being there. For holding me close. For never leaving me.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I was privileged to be chosen to
carry you Elijah. . .And the time you were here was a gift. It was an honor to be your mom; on loan from your heavenly father. I am thankful that you recognized your brokenness and need for a Savior.
Though all my days I will feel like it was to short;
I will remember that your days were numbered by the One who loves you more
than anyone ever could.