Monday, August 5, 2013

Doing the Next Thing

Do the next thing.
That is what everyone says to do. 
But right now I don't know what that next thing is. 
People ask what we need.
I don't know what that need is.

My mind swirls with family memories. 
Memories of the last hours of being with Elijah. 
Wishing he hadn't gone out. 
Wishing God had intervened. . .and turned the wheel back on the road.
My heart and soul hurt. My eyes blink tears constantly. 

I went for a walk yesterday. 
I went to the barn.
I wanted to be with Gary.
We fell in love at the barn.
Hours of talking and being together.
Sometimes quiet.
(he likes that)

And it felt good to be there. 
To sit.
The sounds and smells, familiar friends. 
The pulsating of the milking machines, soothing. 
Something constant. 
The beat of steadiness. 
The life of farming.
Unpredictable in ways. . .yet in so many others, routine bound. 
Doing the next thing. 
It's how this nation was forged. Men and woman doing the next thing. 

I walked back to the house. 

The weather changed. 

It rained a little, but the sun was out. 
And this was the gift
I have never seen a rainbow outlining the mountain. 

I can not tell you I like this journey we are all on. 
With ever fiber of my being I want to change a detail; to make Elijah safe in his bed. I want to hear his laugh. Be wrapped in his ginormous bear hugs. I want to hear the squeals from Ella as he wrestles her to the ground. 

But I can keep my eyes focused on Christ. 
I can keep proclaiming HIS name. 

The news presented a lovely segment last night on Elijah. 
Yet they cut out every piece of our testimony of the Living God.
 It made me sad. 

That will not deter me from sharing our walk as a family as we grieve with Hope in Christ. 

The beat of his drums may have faded.
But the love of God is richer and more powerful than ever before.

One of Elijah's classmates wrote this. And I share it with you. She is a gem and a treasure. And I am honored to know her. 

 Psalm 98:5
Make music to the LORD with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing,


  1. They cannot take away your testimony, even if they delete it from the news. Our God and his truth will be known, in His timing, and in His way. The folks to whom you spoke heard. Elijah's pursuit of truth was not in vain, and your faith and his love will be seen by those whose eyes and ears God has opened. May they have ears to hear. Praying for you. Thinking of you. Loving you all.

  2. Oh Tammy, You have such a way with words that is such a blessing to others. Your raw emotions mixed with truth is compelling. We continue to think and pray for the whole Davis family... <3

    Michelle and Nick Martin

  3. My heart aches for you. I do not know you but have read post on Dawn's blog and on her FB page. You have my prayers and tears over the loss of your son. I am grateful to read of your faith as your struggle through your grief. The first comment is right. They can cut your word about Godout of the segment but they can't "delete" your testimony. They also can't cut it out of their own hearts and minds. Perhaps that is who God wanted you to tell on that day....and perhaps He wanted them to grapple with your words of life in the face of death itself. It will not return void. God knows what He is about even when our minds and hearts are drawing complete blanks. You are a good soldier. You have our prayers.

  4. Thank you for sharing your heart with us Tammy. Your strength is a testimony to your love, dedication and faith in Christ. You know Christ is walking this path with you.......

  5. Every day I look at our mountain, and I too, have never seen a rainbow outline its' contour in that manner. Look again at the photo and one sees a double rainbow; one in the heavens, and one touching the earth.
    Psalm 121 1-2: I lift my eyes toward the mountains; whence shall help come to me? My help is from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
    God's promise through the storm is the gift of the rainbow. How beautiful the message sent and received...

  6. My prayers are with you and your family. I've experienced enough heartache to know that when all is stripped away, and all we have left is God, we find that He is enough. "Except a kernel of wheat fall to the ground and die, it cannot bear much fruit." May the God of heaven bring a mighty harvest.

  7. I have no idea who would say "Take the next step" but that is some of the worst advice I've ever heard. Every person is different and each person should take as much time as they need to ease back into life again. As a person who has lost many people I remember this verse

    Ecclesiastes 3
    To Everything There is a Season
    1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
    4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
    6 A time to get, and a time to lose

    1. I am sorry you too have lost. I love the Ecclesiastes verses. And there is a time for everything. And taking the next step, for me has been good. Because that step may be to brush my teeth, or look at the mountain. But it is a step, one at a time, toward healing. I pray that your heart heals from your wounds of loss too.

  8. Tammy, that picture of you and your son just stopped me in my tracks and I am pouring out tears for you right now. Please know that you are loved and supported through prayers from friends whom you see every day, and friends whom you haven't seen in many, many years. In Christ we are a family, and when one hurts we all hurt. My heart aches for you, yet I rejoice that you know that living God and Elijah did too!