Sunday, August 25, 2013

Baby Showers and New Life

It's been 4 Sundays since your feet have not walked this earth. 
4 Sundays of missing.

4 weeks of Sundays that we have shed hot tears...4 Sundays of longing to see you again.
4 Saturdays of wishing I could do anything about that day differently. 
I watch the clock tick away the minutes. . .
4 weeks of nothing really feeling right. 
But it is also 4 weeks you have spent in glory.
While we are left behind to feel the ache. 

Romans 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing 
with the glory that will be revealed in us.
(thanks for reminding me Molly D)

Life continues it's ebb and flow as we work out our grieving. 
There is new life. . . all planned long in advance.

Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

Baby showers.
A time of decorating and spending much needed time with sister-in-laws. 

 A time when woman come together and love on a mom to be.
 A time for fellowship and helping give the new budding family a boost. Some items are practical. Some are just fun. Especially a girl. Such pretty, dainty things. A time for prayer over the mom.
This mom that is a gift to me. One that I did not tear with or bring forth. But one I circled my arms around and enjoy mostly on the outskirts. She is hope and grace.

 Beauty struggling to find her way. . .

This is a  time of mixed emotions as you see new life. . .
yet long for the one that has departed. 
Small toys that play familiar music, rock my inner world. . .it stirs memories of the long ago. Memories that I want to cherish with joy and not remember with pain. All the longings that will never be. 

The sunrise this morning was not as spectacular as that morning; 
when for a moment my world stopped turning and time stood still. 
I want to scream against the normalcy of the day. 
But I seek the peace that is so available. I bend my knee in quiet submission. . .
in submission to His perfect will. 
I surrender all. 
I pray you enjoy this beautiful rendition of "I surrender All" with Michael English and Selah. 
May you surrender all today. 
Because even when your worst nightmare has come true. 
There is NO other place to go than to the foot of the cross and surrender.
He meets me there and he sets my feet on solid rock. 

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