Saturday, August 17, 2013

Being a Giver. . .it is Hard to Receive

The rhythm of the routine continues. There is hay down and baling to be done.
 Cows are up in milk and the management needs care and detail.
 It's the detail that makes the difference. 
It's what makes you stand out. Caring about the tiniest details brings you closer to your goal. 
Details may mean success or ruin for us. Those details seem hard. But they are ingrained in the beat of the day, so it is good.

Psalm 19:1
The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Each day brings friends. Friends with food, coffee, hugs and tears. 
Some are chatty and silly and some just sit with me in quiet. All of them giving. . .me feeling weary, wondering where this grace comes from. Generosity that flows. Details that make the difference.

The girls came running in. I could hear the pounding of their steps 
before I saw their faces. I needed to come outside they said. 

I was tired. It has been another full day of friends. 
I had just come into my room for some solace.

But there was someone here I needed see. 
You see some young girls had had a lemonade stand 
and had raised money for our family. 
And they had waited anxiously for their parents to come home from work
so they could hurry to our home and  bless us with a gift.
Extravagant Grace.
How do you receive from the youngest and most precious of these? 
Matthew 19:14 
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, 
and do not hinder them, for the kingdom 
of heaven belongs to such as these."

They came as strangers and left as family. 

God wasn't finished with the blessing for the day. 
Another friend walked into the chaos of our kitchen to lavish upon us another gift. 
We were left speechless. 
I could hold in the tears and the magnitude of our loss no longer.
We have lost a beloved son.
And yet we are not alone.

2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, 
but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

My cup runneth over as the enormity of the grace resonated in my heart. 
The details are so important.
Because since the foundations of the earth God has managed all the details. 
He knows each piece and part. 
And this wild grace is a gift.

 This is Elijah and his good friend Thomas on a school trip for LUHS. 
The fact that Elijah is on this trip is a story I long to tell you. . .later.

Sometimes we can't understand why things happen.
My heart aches with God's details for my life right now.
But God is managing the details.
Each detail is so important.
So I take my weary and aching heart and I surrender all the details.
Psalm 63:1
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

I have I waited to post this song. . .It is my heart.
"This is not where I belong. . .this is NOT my home. . ."
I long for the day when God will call us home. 
Until then I will trust him with the details.


  1. That lemonade story is so sweet. What a precious thing to have done! awww.

  2. Tammy you are all in my thoughts & prayers everyday. Love & hugs to you.

  3. "This is not where I belong. . .this is NOT my home. . ." Amen. So very true.

    Thinking of you and in my prayers.

  4. Tammy & Gary, lately at 3am we wake up thinking of you. and pray, and the day is dawning... "its time to sing HIS song again" running through our heads. We do not normally wake up at 3am. God's Love to you always, N&A

    1. Thank you. That is when Gary gets up and heads to the barn. Thank you for praying. Please do not stop.

  5. Tammy, have you seen the Though You Slay Me (ft. John Piper) video Ann Voskamp posted on her blog this weekend? It's Awesome.


    1. I had seen her post but hadn't read through the pieces. Thank you. My heart resonated with every word as I rocked back and forth and let the tears flow. . .