Sunday, September 8, 2013

How a Community Serves

There is a threshold I have.
It isn't very high.
Things that used to energize me. . .
Exhaust me.
I find myself very distracted. 
Hard to stay focused on anything for very long.
(Ok, that is not a new problem)
I try to make sense of all that has happened. 
And I can't.
And I don't want it to be.
It's been six weeks since I have seen you.
Six weeks since my world changed forever.
Six weeks of clinging every moment to what I know and believe.
Six weeks of driving by the place you drew your last breath;
your last moments that I didn't share.
And I still cry out to God. . .

Every morning I wake, and the weight lies heavy upon me.
As if sleeping would change the course of events.

I choose to switch my thoughts to the Creator of the Universe.
I choose to praise God for the day and ask for his guidance.

And I fling  (ok, painstakingly roll)  myself out of bed.
Because sometimes I would rather stay there. I would rather just pull the covers over my eyes and remain in the dark.
But who is that serving?
 If I serve the God of the Universe who has called all things into being; then I can trust with all my heart that this is the plan set in motion for me.

But God does not leave us without hope or encouragement.

Abundant Grace has visited the farm.
Wild and unmeasured.

When A Community Grieves was a post I wrote the night of Elijah's wake.   
Today we are experiencing How a Community Serves. 
And we are overwhelmed and amazed by the outpouring of support. 

People would ask what they could do to help us. . .We never knew how to respond. 

Our son resides in Glory. . .there is not much anyone can do. 

We all feel helpless. 
Gary mentioned to someone that our family uses about 40 cords of wood to heat our outdoor boiler at the barn and then one at the house.
Splitting wood is something that is needed. 
One man had a desire. . .and he is sharing wild grace with this heartbroken family.
 Is this what Jesus meant about living in community?
More than fifty people shared this one man's desire.
 Log splitters, trailers and tractors have poured onto our property. 
By 9 o'clock there were huge piles of wood at both the house and the barn.
They were fed and given water.
There was much work done in a day.
Neighbors, church members, strangers. . . now all family, came together to serve, as they shared part of our burden.
Thank you.
 It is hard to receive this amount of grace. .
And my eyes fill again with the tears that fall so freely.
We are not alone. . .

Galatians 6:2
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Not for a moment do I want to take my eyes off of Jesus. 
I seek him each morning and long for his comfort.
He sends it in the form of his people. .. 
He sends it is the form of his Holy Spirit.
He speaks through his Word. 
I hold tight to these things.
I know. . .this is what it means to be loved. . .to be held. . .

Psalm 103:1
Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.


  1. This post gave me goosebumps. What an amazing community that really knows how to share the gift of service. I look forward to your blog every day, Tammy. Through the searing pain, God's Grace is so clear. Amen.

    Love, Michelle M.

    1. Thank you, holding close to God's grace. . .

  2. Beautiful. When I was lost Jericho wrapped its arms around me. Mothers pain so heartbreaking. We grieve with you. One day others will also grieve for us. Such a short lived earthly life but so sweetly lived. A quieted mind is by the sacred river.

  3. Beautiful service..beautiful grace...beautiful faith..beautiful love. <3<3<3

  4. I get the concentration challenge. Took me a long time. PTSD, I guess. I think a Christian grief is the ultimate glory in clay pots thing. So much faith, hope, love and clay all mushed together.

  5. Your story was told today in our church, a young lady named Emma, a Huntington resident chose to be baptized. She was a school mate of Elijah and realized at his funeral that she had something many of the other students didn't, the knowledge of God's Grace and salvation. Today because of your son, she dedicated her life to Jesus and the Lord. Each day he, your son, because of his belief in the Lord and sacrifice, touches one life and makes it better.

    1. Oh wild grace. . .thank you for sharing. We long to hear the stories. It's still hard. And it reminds us of how God is still in control. If this Emma would like, we would love to hear from her. . .and hear her testimony.

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  6. God has blessed you with an amazing gift , Tammy, to express your sorrow, love, grace, and peace through your words. Your faith is remarkable and is an example for all of us who live in pain. Thank you for sharing this gift with so many. It is truly an inspiration to read and the music so thoughtfully chosen to express His love.

  7. I got chills reading this. Beautiful, Tammy.

    I thought about you today while watching an interview with Maya Angelou. She was talking about, of all things, rainbows. She said God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us, in the dreariest and most dreaded moments, can see a possibility of hope.

    God has been sending you literal rainbows. But, do you know that you've been a figurative rainbow in the clouds to so many others? You've been one for me. I don't think you know how many people you are helping by having the courage to so openly walk through this fire of loss.


    1. I know that grace has been given. That the Holy Spirit is giving me words. . .My heart is forever changed and broken. Thank you for your encouragement.