Monday, September 16, 2013

We Have the Missing our Son Blues

Our family made the newspaper once again.
This time it was honoring those that have come to cut and split wood.
Those that have spent hours of their time on our farm trying to make things a little easier for us. 

I was honored and blessed by this article. The reporter listened to what was said. And she wrote it. She didn't compromise. 
Or cut the parts of faith out.
 You can read the Burlington Free Press article here.

There were more teammates here stacking wood.
It makes my heart ache a little when I see them. 
It is a reminder of what is no more.
Yet, I am touched that they would take time to come here to help.

Chores continue to be done. Cows need to be milked.
Calves fed. 
Gary in his steady way, carries on. 
Besides my Savior, he is my rock. 
His wisdom and strength a beacon of hope for our family.
But he too is tired.
Worn from this journey of ache and loss.

The kids struggle to find understanding.
They miss their brother. 
Everything seems so incomplete.

The seasons are changing. The cool nights are here. 
We begin to make changes for the winter.
There is still much preparation.
Though wood is now not a burden.

Sleep is still a relief. 

Today is a new day. It is dreary and cold.
We have hay down. There was once a forecast that did not indicate rain.
It is easy to feel blue;
without hope.
But this will be a day that I will do all I can to look up,
 breathe, and put one foot in front of the other. 
We will praise God with all we have, even when we don't feel it.  

Revelation 21:4
"and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."

Here's my heart, lord, take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above.


  1. Amen. Much love. Talking w Gary. 4am. Check. One Love A& N

  2. Tammy, I was disappointed a few weeks ago when you said the press had redacted out the parts of your story about faith. But I knew God's hand was in that and that His work wasn't done. It still isn't. So happy to read this newest story.

    I watched an interview with Rick Warren last night on Oprah's network. He was speaking to a mother who, two years ago, lost her 8 and 9 y.o. girls in a car accident. He told her, "grief is not something you ever get over, it's something you get through." You and your family will get through this. I know there must be days it doesn't feel that way. But you will. And you are not alone. Not ever.

    Pastor Warren also reminded the woman that God never wastes a hurt. And I know God is not wasting the hurt you are going through. The lives you are touching through this blog, the Free Press article, the kids you are hearing give their lives to Jesus because of Elijah's death - and life - are all beautiful proof of this.

    Be blessed today,


    1. Thank you again Amy for your encouraging words. God is in all this. And we are holding tight to that. We are also so grateful for your support and prayers. We can not make it through this without it. . .

  3. Tammy, I discovered your blog while looking at a friends wall in Facebook. I love reading about other's lives and cultures and so, began my journey of reading about your family. I began back in the beginning of July, as that was the first blogs I saw and started reading, having no idea what the future held in store for your family. I was just amazed at the grace and humor in which you and your family lived your lives as a farming family. When I read about your son's accident and home going, I was heartbroken for you, but then as I continued to read and saw the beams of God's love shine through the pain and darkness of your loss, my heart was amazed at the strength you have found to move forward, one breath, one step at a time and running to God's Word when the grief threatened to shake those foundations. I wound up spending the morning in an unexpected way, following the life you so openly share with us. The gladness and sorrows, the joys and the pains. I have already shared your story with the man outside power washing our house. I don't think I stumbled on your blog by accident. I am so moved and honored to have shared in this, even from a distance and I will NEVER take my children for granted (daughter aged 9 and son aged 7)and I will try to always rejoice in the small day to day things, because as you said in a previous blog, only God knows the numbers of our days.

    May God RICHLY bless you in this time of sorrow and continue to lift you up in his Righteous Right Hand.

    Martha S.

    1. Thank you for reading. Thank you for Your words and reaching out. We continue to seek God as we live this new journey.

  4. Tammy, I was so pleased to read the recent Free Press article. Your faith is so evident, and it acts as an example for the rest of us. You and your family have given so much to this community; it is only fitting that you receive in return. No matter what the future holds, you'll never walk alone.
    Much love,