When You Spend Time Alone; You Realize How Never Alone You Really Are.

Alone. 

Yet never alone. 

Even in the darkest moments. 

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I am not alone. 

Richard Blackaby continues his talk.

He speaks of Elijah. 

I want to weep at the mention of his name.

But it is the Elijah of the bible, 

of whom he speaks. 

The Elijah who is called to speak to Kings and Prophets; 

and then is asked to hide in a ravine. 

To be fed by ravens. 
Alone. 

The Elijah who is asked to seek charity from a widow and her son. 

A widow who is about to prepare her last meal, and then die, because the famine is so great. 

It is this Elijah he speaks of. 

It is this same Elijah that brings back to life the only son of the widow. 

Richard Blackaby goes on to speak of the wilderness and
 the blessing God is able to bring about. 

And the sob catches in my throat. 

Oh, if he only knew the wilderness I am walking in. 
The loss. 
There was no Elijah that brought my Elijah back to life. 
No, I live without my son. 
I am faced with grief every day. 
A longing. 

The daily longing for communion with God. 

To hear his voice. 
To try to make sense of all that has gone on. 
Are we to make sense of the story of our life? 
Sometimes I think not. 
We are so preoccupied with trying to understand. 
Trying to make sense that we miss the purpose. 
We are to be used by God; For His purpose. 

"He may have you in the wilderness to prepare you for His work,"
Richard Blackay says. 
God is right here. 
Even in this barren land. 

Our prayers and our requests should ask,

"What can we do to bring about your will, Lord?"
How can you use me? 
How can you use this circumstance to bring about your Glory and your will. 

It is not my agenda that is important. 
It is the desire of a Holy God that I seek. 

I sit in a room filled mostly of folks older than me. 
Saints of the faith. 
We gather around the Grand Piano.  

We sing hymn after hymn of old. 
We sing about Victory in Jesus, and Telling the Old, Old Story. 
We sing about, Peace Like a River and How Well it is With Our Soul. 

My farmer says if you're not moving forward your going backwards. 
I want to move forward continually. 
All the time pointing to the One who writes my name on his palm. 

Isaiah 49:16
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. . .

Giving Him the glory for the things in my life.
My Alone time this week has reminded me how
not alone I really am. 

When we seek the face of God. 
He is faithful to meet us. 
He will never leave us. 
He will never forsake us. 
Even in the tough times. 
Even when the seering pain, clouds our vision. 
He is there. 
We are never alone. 

I pray you can take a moment to listen to this song. 

This song has ministered to my aching soul for so many years. 

Selah
Before the Throne of God

Alone

Alone.
That's how I find myself this week. 
Plans to spend time with the youngest. 
Changed. 
And now. 
Alone. 
At first. 
I do not know how to react. 
Alone. 
In a room. 
A clean room. 
2 beds. 
Meals prepared. 
Solid biblical preaching. 
All alone. 
My own schedule. 
Clean towels everyday. 
Coffee. 
Everywhere. 
In the room. 
In the lobby. 
In the dining hall. 
Alone. 
I don't do alone. 
I find someone to accompany me to the store. 
I fight off the panic that threatens. 
It is then that I hear the small voice. 
Commune with me. 
How I have longed for more time to dig deep. 
To study the word. 
Commune with me. 
I don't know if I can.
This God that I want to know intimately, allowed my son to be taken. 
He allowed my husband to have cancer. 
He has allowed our finances to be stretched. 
In short amounts of time he allowed my Aunt, my parents best friend and my mom to journey home. 
He allowed my parents dog and our puppy to die premature deaths. 
He has allowed my dad to date the memory thief. 
He is also the same God who allowed a beautiful grand daughter to be born. 

Commune with me,  he says. 
I love Him and I will serve him. 
Yet spend alone time with him? 

In the quiet? 
I don't know if I can. 
I am raw.
 I am vulnerable.

Typically I recharge by being with people. 
But I don't have that energy any more. 

I open my mind to the possibilities. 

Richard Blackaby says,
 "Unless you make an adjustment. .. you're not going anywhere." 

And I cry out to God. 

Hasn't an adjustment already been made? 
An adjustment I didn't ask for or ever desire? 

Richard Blackaby continues his talk. 
He talks about his Father, Henry. 
One of the most influential men of our time. 
A man devoted to the word of God. 
A man so knowledgeable. 
He shares how his dad still longs to grow. 
To know more of God. 
To dig deeper. 
He challenges us to continue to be hungry for God. 
To find out what is holding us back? 
We are the ones who are limiting what God can do in our lives. 
What am I doing in my life that would require a miracle? 

I don't know where God will take me this week. 
Commune with me. 
I know that spending time, alone, with Him, is a starting place. 

I am embracing this gift of this week. 
I am willing to face everything, boldly. 
I am sure I may not like all that will transpire. 
But I am going to continue to be real. 
I don't like this path I am on. 
I did not ask for it. 
I do not like it. . . one bit. 
But, I do love the Lord. 
And the morning that Elijah met Jesus. 
I sat in my living room. 
Alone. 
My farmer and Cedric had gone to the barn. 
The girls were still sleeping. 
Their world still in tact.
The power was still out. 
There was darkness. 
And I was alone. 
I could barely breathe. 
 I did the one thing my soul is able to do. 
And that is to Praise. 
It is our first language. 
Praising the God of the Universe. 
It is what we will do when we see Him face to face. 

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

So in this time;
Alone.
I will dig deep into the Word. 
I will allow God to move. 

Are you willing to get real with God? 


Lauren Daigle
Trust in You

When you don't move the mountains I need you to move
When you don't part the waters I wish I could've walked through
When you don't give the answers as I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, 
I will trust in You!