When You Spend Time Alone; You Realize How Never Alone You Really Are.

Alone. 

Yet never alone. 

Even in the darkest moments. 

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I am not alone. 

Richard Blackaby continues his talk.

He speaks of Elijah. 

I want to weep at the mention of his name.

But it is the Elijah of the bible, 

of whom he speaks. 

The Elijah who is called to speak to Kings and Prophets; 

and then is asked to hide in a ravine. 

To be fed by ravens. 
Alone. 

The Elijah who is asked to seek charity from a widow and her son. 

A widow who is about to prepare her last meal, and then die, because the famine is so great. 

It is this Elijah he speaks of. 

It is this same Elijah that brings back to life the only son of the widow. 

Richard Blackaby goes on to speak of the wilderness and
 the blessing God is able to bring about. 

And the sob catches in my throat. 

Oh, if he only knew the wilderness I am walking in. 
The loss. 
There was no Elijah that brought my Elijah back to life. 
No, I live without my son. 
I am faced with grief every day. 
A longing. 

The daily longing for communion with God. 

To hear his voice. 
To try to make sense of all that has gone on. 
Are we to make sense of the story of our life? 
Sometimes I think not. 
We are so preoccupied with trying to understand. 
Trying to make sense that we miss the purpose. 
We are to be used by God; For His purpose. 

"He may have you in the wilderness to prepare you for His work,"
Richard Blackay says. 
God is right here. 
Even in this barren land. 

Our prayers and our requests should ask,

"What can we do to bring about your will, Lord?"
How can you use me? 
How can you use this circumstance to bring about your Glory and your will. 

It is not my agenda that is important. 
It is the desire of a Holy God that I seek. 

I sit in a room filled mostly of folks older than me. 
Saints of the faith. 
We gather around the Grand Piano.  

We sing hymn after hymn of old. 
We sing about Victory in Jesus, and Telling the Old, Old Story. 
We sing about, Peace Like a River and How Well it is With Our Soul. 

My farmer says if you're not moving forward your going backwards. 
I want to move forward continually. 
All the time pointing to the One who writes my name on his palm. 

Isaiah 49:16
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. . .

Giving Him the glory for the things in my life.
My Alone time this week has reminded me how
not alone I really am. 

When we seek the face of God. 
He is faithful to meet us. 
He will never leave us. 
He will never forsake us. 
Even in the tough times. 
Even when the seering pain, clouds our vision. 
He is there. 
We are never alone. 

I pray you can take a moment to listen to this song. 

This song has ministered to my aching soul for so many years. 

Selah
Before the Throne of God

Blooming In The Barren Land. . . It Can Be Done

While in captivity in a foreign land the Israelites were asked to sing songs for their captors.
To sing songs of joy amidst deep heartache and sadness;
while they were mourning their homeland and all they knew. 

This act unthinkable. 

Yet, they had been told by God. 

Plant gardens, build houses and multiply during this time.
Jeremiah 29

Even during the hard times. 

When you feel you can go on no longer. 

Settle where you are placed. 

Be doing the work I have for you because I will restore this land. 

I will bring Israel back; and you need to be ready. 

So often when we are in the throes of heartache and pain,
 the last thing we want to do is sing songs of joy.
Or rejoice. 

Our hearts are filled with pain and the days seem long and tortuous. 

Yet these are God's wishes for us. 

 He sees the whole picture and He knows what is coming. 

We need to be obedient. 
Even when everything in us cries the opposite. 

He is there. He is in everything we do. 

His love encompasses all. 

Psalm 137:4

 Right there my heart hurts.
How can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land? 

I know that feeling. 

I don't want to sing songs of joy. 

I want to wallow. 

I feel pain. 

Deep and agonizing. 

I long for my son.
I want to snuggle with our puppy.

I long for this cancer to be gone and the port taken out. 

I want my mom back and my dad to not be a companion with the memory thief.
But these thoughts are self deprecating. 

They force my whole being to turn inward. 

Selfish. 

Unyielding. 

Singing praise while in the foreign land is just what needs to be done. 

It is a commandment. 

And it is good. 

There is power in stepping toward what God deems. 

The Israelites were afraid of forgetting.
 It had been done.
There is a history.
A legacy of forgetting and years of barrenness in the wilderness. 

I do not want that. 

I do not want to walk in a barren land. 

I seek the fertile and prolific. 

The land which gives forth great yield.

So I will press on remembering. 

Singing praises in the wilderness.
Until His return.