Thursday, January 2, 2014

Pressing On Through; God Will Make A Way

Before I had even finished writing my last post,
I received word that Cheslea's Grandmother had died on New Year's Eve. 
She was at a party. 
Just fine. 
And had a heart attack; Just like that.

In a year when we have experienced so much heart ache. This feels like too much. 
What do you do when you feel like at every corner you're knocked down? 
When life is relentless in it's burden. 
How do you live when all is heavy and weighted down?

There is no option for surrender.
The only option is to press on.
Press on towards that goal.

Take a moment to listen to this again.
He speaks to the goal we press on towards. Literally weeks before he was called home.
Press on. . .all you who are weary.
I miss his voice, I long for him to be with us.
Yet, I treasure this gift.

Phillipians 3:14
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has 
called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

But it's not drudgery. There is meaning and purpose. There is joy for the journey. Taking raw pain and finding a place for it to dwell is hard work. It is a daily task. A daily step to choose to give thanks and praise. To shake off the bitterness that threatens to engulf. To step forward into joy when your heart is breaking in a million pieces. 

This was my post last New Year's Day. 
Just one year ago.
 And though I still am not making a list or making resolutions. 
The cry of my heart is still the same. 

Wasn't much into celebrating last night. Went to bed early. Woke up to the 2 little girls sound asleep on the couch! I wonder if they made it to midnight! Happy New Year everyone! I am not a list or a resolution girl. . .but I do want to honor God this year. I don't want this life to be about me. I want to serve others. While taking care of my mom, I experienced such a wonderful gift. Caring for your mother is a heartbreaking joy. . . a deep down joy that no one can touch. So here is to a year NOT about doing what's right for me. . . or putting myself first. Here is to a year where I surrender and let God lead my steps. . . Because even in the hard times . . .with God is better than on my own. Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. . . 

"Because even in the hard times. . .with God, is better than on my own".

This past year has been so hard. Frankly, it still is hard. Each breath that I take, each action I perform is surrendered to the will of God because I don't know how to walk this road. 
So again, I cling to what I do know. 

Much of my day requires moment by moment clinging to what I know.
And what I know is; God is good. . .God is sovereign, and God knows. . .
 He knows my pain. Sometimes that does not give me peace. And that is where my faith meets the truth. If I claim to know God; then I will claim to know and trust him in the agony.

We said Good Bye to cousins and came home to a quiet house. 

For a moment, just a moment, this awful sadness began to permeate.
 But  friends stopped over and it was a nice distraction.  I then stepped into all that needs to be done. 
I wasn't as nice as I could have been, I was tired, but it was a start. 
That's all we need to do- is start, take a step.
God will take care of the rest.

 God will make a way
When there seems to be no way.
Forever He is faithful
He will make a road
When you bear a heavy load

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