Tuesday, January 21, 2014

How To Make More TIme In A Day

I look into those beautiful blue eyes. 
His sons inherited them. One still growing, the other, his eyes closed for all of eternity.

I turn away. Tears threaten to spill over. 
I hate to see him like this. 
It breaks my heart. 
I have no control.
The outcome unknown.
The toxic cocktails supposedl, targeting the cancer that threatens to consume his life.
Yet the journey there, leaving him tired, and weak.
Stepping each moment in faith and hope.
Grace met us once again as one of the nurses prays with us. 
We are strengthened and encouraged. 
These glimpses of grace are such gifts and do much to spur us on.
My farmer is half way done with his infusions.
He has 10 more radiation sessions.

I ponder on how we are finding time to head into town everyday and spend the entire day on Fridays, when we struggled to find time to be together before this.
I don't want to go back to that old way of living.
 Finding time to be with your spouse is so important.
Intentional time.
 Holding hands and laughing.
We do that every time we go to the hospital.
Even when what we are heading towards is not fun.

It can paralyze us.
Motivate us.
It passes at the same rate year after year, moment after moment.
Yet some of those moments are fleeting and some drag on.
There are moments when I wish time would stand still. Like the night of Elijah's accident.
I long for more moments. 
My clock flashing for weeks because I did not want to change the time.

It's all we have.
God has given each us a certain amount of time.
The same amount in a day. . .just different lengths of days.
How will my life count? How will I listen to what God will call me too?
The laundry and dishes scream for attention.
Fatigue permeates most of our lives and the energy to put into our marriage is often displaced.
There are games, concerts and meetings. Emails to check and Pinterest boards to view.
We find time for things that matter.
And I want my marriage to matter.
It is a sacred vow, we took.
 In plenty in want, in sickness and health. . .until death due us part.
My heart cries for time. 
That the death due us part; will be far in the future.
But we know all too well, that is not for us to decide. 
The time we have is now and we need to be intentional.
How will my life count? What will I let scream at me for attention?
When our steps are surrendered to the one who orders them, our time will be used for his Glory.
As we let him write our "to do list" the important things become clear.
And time will be His.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

So make the time you have here on this earth count. Seek a to do list, that matters.

1 Corinthians 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, 
do it all for the glory of God.

"I've grown tired of earthly things
They promise peace but furnish pain
All of life's sweetest joys combined
Can never match those in another time"