The Hope For Today Lies In the Surrender

The sun rises in its glory. 

It will be another beautiful day. 
Such a gift to farmers.
Hope.

It is 11 months today. 

11 months of not my will but thine.

A journey I do not want to travel, but must. 

This place is uncomfortable and unpredictable. 

I long to change the path. 

I will for it all to be different. 

I want to hear Elijah's voice.
I long to have my 17 year old be 18.
I wrestle fiercely in my spirit. 
We are not of this earth.
This. This is not our home.
We are on a journey to eternal life.
This path is lived with bowed knee.
In humble submission. 
A place where there is strength beyond words.
I reach for that strength.
Because I can't walk 11 months.
But God can. 
He will strengthen us.

Isaiah 40:29
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

I am weak and I am weary. 

I step into the strength He provides. 

I wrap my arms around the Ancient Word. 

I step onto the porch. 

The sun continues it's ascent.

The warmth hugs me like a blanket.

The hope for today lies in the surrender. 

It's not my day. 

It is the Lords and He knows what's best. 

So I lay all of my expectations at the foot of the cross. 

Youth will gather at the farm today for the end of the year, beginning of summer gathering. 

Everything has changed. 

I am changed.

It is all different. 

I trust for the way in this new walk.

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, 

they will walk and not be faint.

One needs to embrace the change that God brings. 

Hold loosely to the things of this earth. 

They are fleeting. 

But God is never changing. 

The Lord Our God   Kristian Stanfill

The Lord our God is ever faithful
Never changing through the ages
From this darkness
You will lead us 
And forever we will say 
You're the Lord our God 

In the silence in the waiting

We can know you are good.

All your plans are for your glory.  . .

A Gift, We Hope, Will Keep On Giving

I walk into the auditorium. 

They are setting up for Honors Night. 

I feel the weight of grief. 

I stagger against the emotion. 

This is so hard. 

Each event tormenting in some way.
I hand them the envelope.
An envelope filled with a portion of a communities' generosity. 

It's been a year since we watched our red headed boy walk across the stage and
 receive the Music Department Award. 

He wasn't going to college. 

So there were no scholarships. 

He was going to serve His country. 

Now he resides with the King of Kings. 

In a moment your life changes.

You think you've got it all. 

It's all planned out; in the blink of an eye or a knock on the door your whole world tips.
A different direction.
We attend the Honors Night for the class of 2014.
We stand in the back.
Waiting.
I remember sitting in the auditorium thinking how can you give a scholarship for a child you lost?
How difficult it must be. 
Now, a year later, we wait as the recipient of the first
 Elijah Todd Davis Memorial Fund Scholarship is called.
Our son added to the list of Memorials.
Elijah's coach presents the award.
His words poignant and concise.
And in a moment it is over.
A moment that feels good and right.
A gift given.
The hope of a future.
A hope that this Fund will continue to grow and benefit many through the years.
We pray that the recipient of the scholarship will grow to know the Lord.
That he will seek to make this world a better place.
Because that is what we are called to do.
Make disciples.
Love one another.
Be a servant.
Above all Love.
Because you are loved.
Beyond all that you could ever ask or imagine.

Colossians 3:14
And over all these virtues put on love, 
which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 *for information on the Elijah Todd Memorial Fun please contact the Merchant's Band Jericho, VT (802) 899-3713

The Best Birthday Gift. . . Ever

Each year I would begin calling my dad around the end of March.
 The countdown to my birthday had commenced.
We played this game for years.
Well into my adulthood.
Long after I should have stopped. 
I loved it.
Mom had a knack for making birthdays and holidays magical.
It wasn't anything she bought.
It was her excitement. It was catchy.
She singled you out.
For worth. For purpose. 
My birthday meant Spring.

The end of the cruel winter.
Each birthday wonderful.
Spent with family and friends.
It didn't matter what we did.
I just loved being together and celebrating.
Mom is gone now.
Called to Jesus. Her Eternal Home.
And now too, my son. 
Last year we went to dinner.
Because we live in such a techy era we have a memory.
A picture.
It was so fun.
God knew we would need these lasting imprints from these final celebrations this side of eternity.

Today I don't really feel like celebrating. 
It's hard to do life when part of you is missing.
But God has other ideas.
Right in the Middle of Holy Week we attended a funeral.
Another heart wrenching, unbelievable loss.
It has left me with questions; trying to make sense of this journey.
The thought of celebrating a birthday while my son resides with the King of Kings has been troubling.
Years of cards and memories.
Yet God, in his infinite wisdom, did not take this lightly.
My birthday would fall on the pivotal day of all days.
The day the stone's been rolled away. 

Friday is gone. 

Now it's Sunday. 

And we are the Sunday people.
A people born into rest.

We are a people that have been set free. 

We have been redeemed.
For worth. For purpose. 

There is nothing we can do to earn this love.

He paid it all. 
It is the greatest birthday gift I could receive.
I think about the cost.
His life. . . for me. 

The grave is empty. 

He is Risen.

Matthew 28:6
He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. 
Come and see the place where he lay.

And because of that gift, eternity is mine.
It is yours. 
One day I will see my son again.
Until then, may I be found faithful.
May you all become a Sunday people. 
Lay down those burdens and take up the cross.
Let God take all that ensnares you.
Let Him fill you with His grace.
Thank you Jesus for the best gift ever given.


Living, He Loved Me
Dying, He Saved Me