How Gratitude Changes Us Day #28 of Thankfulness

I have chosen, with God's help, to walk a journey of Thankfulness this month. 

It is a practice that is cultivated. 

It requires digging deep and reflection. 

Finding things to be thankful for is not always easy. 

There are things to gripe and complain about. 

Rights violated, feelings hurt, fairness not applied. 

This is what makes the world turn. 

Injustices. 

Anger. 

Greed. 

Getting ahead. 

At all cost. 

Glamour and prestige. 

The spotlight. 

Yet isn't that what Jesus fought the whole time he was here on earth? 

The idea that he was a King? 

His desire; to seek and serve. 

His desire; for souls to be changed. 

From the inside out. 

He spoke against sin and the devastating affects it has. 

Yet he came along side the sinner. 

He didn't leave them there. 
He walked with them. 
He walks with us. 

He requires change. 

When we yield to gratitude something inside us changes. 

We look for the gift in life. 

I am choosing to look more and more for that gift. 

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

friends and family visiting through the day

a farmhouse table full of young and old, munching on leftovers

doors flung open, welcoming those who enter in

the farm boy and his ability to create beauty where I see none

these warm days; so strange

mowing hay on November 27

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decorating for Christmas

the girls and Rachel helping to get the house decorated 

the opportunity to get away for a quick overnight to MA for our new nieces baptism

the promise and hope of Advent

intentionally naming my thanks

choosing gratitude

leftovers

pie

white lights

memories

grace 

this run down farmhouse with torn curtains and broken windows; I love every inch

the reminder that I am loved no matter how difficult or lousy I feel

Jeremiah 31:3

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

The Ultimate Sacrifice Day #11 of Thankfulness

Fancy pants dining. 

It's what they do. 

All these kids. 

From the time they were little. 

Aunt Clara's china being used. 

The candle light glowing. 

It's in those moments I see the table full. 

All the seats occupied. 

The laughter and joy around the farmhouse table. 

Things have changed. 

So much. 

One space remains empty; forever. 

The future, here on this earth, not mine to know. 

I know he was dedicated. 

Committed. 

He wanted to serve this country with his life. 

 The eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month. 

We celebrate today because of the lives given. 

Sacrificed for our freedom. 

For men and woman who selflessly stand so we can sleep. 

Elijah would have made an amazing marine. 

But God called him home. 

His work finished. 

For those of us left- we still have work to do. 

We honor these men and woman because of the life give for us. 

The ultimate sacrifice was made on our behalf as One walked willingly to the cross.
He gave. . .all.
So that we may be free.
A symbol.
An example.
For God and Country.

~ 30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

Veteran's Day

a grandfather and uncles who served this country

my dad who gave to serve

Harold, a family friend who served and influenced 

our son Elijah so much

those men and woman who have pledged to protect and

 serve our country

the families of those men and woman -thank you 

a son who never wavered in his desire to serve

those that came alongside of Elijah as he trained and prepared

For the glimpses of grace along this journey

 a flag flown over Parris Island on Elijah's birthday- 
the day he would have left for boot camp
 a gift of the Marine Flag

 an enlisted Marine who knew Elijah 
and came to the door to meet this grieving mama- 
who returned from boot camp and brought a copy of his
 boot camp memory book 
the extended warmth and sunshine this fall
 backyard prayer
grace for each day
my farmers family that shows how to live out this grace each day
 my family and their unending love and support- and laughter

My cousin posted this picture for me




Thank you to all for serving. 
We owe you a debt of gratitude. 

John 15:3
Greater love has no one than this:
 to lay down one's life for one's friends.


Here is a video clip of Marines singing, 
"Days of Elijah"

The Farmette is Two!!!

The farmette is two today!

Surprise text I received when Chelsea and my dear friend, who now resides with the King of Kings, came to visit. That was my house!! 

She surprised me with a visit!

She turned one! 

And now she's two!

Where does the time go? 

When I sent Chelsea the picture of the beautiful sunrise,

this morning, which reminded me of Elijah's home going. . . 

She said, maybe he is saying Happy Birthday to Lilah. 

I think so. 

Happy 2nd Birthday Lilah Rose! 

Looking forward to seeing all God will do your life. 

I wonder if you will drink coffee, with mommy and Gram-Tam? 

You know, the important things. 

We love you! 

I Said, "Yes" To Writing On The Walls

I said it sort of jokingly. 

I didn't think anything of it. 

We could write our gratitude on the wall.

We are going to paint in here someday. 

(It hasn't been painted since 1989. . ."ain't nobody got time for that")

The walls are filthy and stained with hand prints. 

Drawings from the kids and those infamous height marks. 

A legacy of Elijah on the wall. 

A tangible record of his exsistance here. 

A reminder. 

So, we clean up from physical nourishment 
and the Ancient Word. 
My farmer hesitates before he leaves. 
It is not until he is gone that I see what he has done. 

He took that marker and he penned his thoughts. 
The start of a day of thankfulness. 
The other kids joined in. 
That older farm girl had to have a title and have it make sense. 
We hope family and friends will join in with us. 
We don't know how to walk this road. 
Everything we know is changed;
and continues to change. 

Somehow this writing on the wall feels right. 

Naming that for which we are thankful. 
Maybe it's because we're writing on a wall!
 Or maybe it's causing us to step into gratitude. 
Where ever you are today, may you find something to be thankful for. 


Psalm 107:1
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Lessons Learned While Baking Bread

What do you do when the temperatures plummet?

When there are no eggs or cereal for breakfast. 

When the Oatmeal won't feed 6?

When the dollar you need to stretch can't go any further? 

When the great niece is there at 6 a.m?

You pull those farm memories to life.

You close your eyes and think of warm bread baking. 

You remember the strong arms of your mother in law. 

The sweet grace baked into each bite. 

And the healing art of kneading bread. 

Moment by moment working the yeast through. 

Lessons learned while baking bread. 

So I stand next to the wee one. 

And share God's love. 

Together we work. 

Side by side. 

In the quiet. 

And my soul is filled. 

Soon my farmer and children will feast. 

There is warmth in the kitchen. 

Nourishment in the oven. 

A peace that passes all understanding. 

When grief and cancer and CT scans and life swirl; 

lean into the lessons learned while baking bread. 

Philippians 4:7

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, 

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Farmer's Wife I Called Mother In Law

I can still feel the peace when I entered her home. 

The country charm. 

The warmth. 

The smells. 

The open door. 

Oh, how I loved and admired her. 

She could bring a calf to the barn as easy as whipping up a tasty meal. 

There was always room on her lap for one more. 

Room at the table for another to sit. 

Always time for coffee.

There was always a solution to every problem. 

Life was a journey with God as her companion. 

Her creative touch transforming gardens and rooms into things of beauty. 

The light left her 13 years ago today. 

In a moment; she was gone. 

At 65 it seemed too young. 

Her husband just 16 months before her. 

The ache we all felt; still felt today. 

I miss her laugh and the twinkle in her eye. 

I miss her encouraging words and support on the farm. 

She accepted me; this city girl. 

She never laughed at my inabilities or lack of knowledge. 

She taught by example. 

She lived what she believed. 

Her hands, never idle.

Her heart, always full. 

So, my dear Shirley I miss you greatly. 

I am grateful for the legacy you left. 

I am thankful for the farmer you bore, the strength you modeled. 

I know I am the woman I am, because you believed in me. 

Because you shared a life surrendered to Christ and to your family. 

I know you're rejoicing with the King of all Kings and sitting at the banquet table with my red head.

This assurance brings me peace and fills my being with strength. 

Heaven holds so many of my dear ones. 

There have been days I have longed for your wisdom or to hold my hand when

 my heart can't take the pain anymore. 

For now I will continue as you modeled; though not nearly as adequately as you. 

My eyes are lifted to the cross. 

My soul surrendered. 

Life breathed into my weary heart by the Giver of all life. 

Thank you for giving. 

Thank you for loving. 

I was blessed to have been a part of your family. 

I was blessed to have you in my life. 

Creating A Day That is Purposefully Thankful Day # 27 of Thankfulness

The season of Thankfulness. 

The settlers of this land grateful for sustenance; coming together in fellowship. 

A time to be grateful. 

And what is gratitude really? 

The lists that I have made of all the things I possess? 

That happy feeling when we are content and things are going swell? 

That is a part of the practice. 

True gratitude is deep contentment in life, no matter the circumstances. 

A Thankful life is lived looking through a different lens. 

One is not born a thankful person. 

It takes effort and intentional actions. 

To be thankful in every sense of the word mandates a shift in the view of the world. 

It permeates all you do. 

Because being grateful isn't just about the stuff. 

It's about looking at the world as a place where change can happen; and it starts with us. 

We take the step towards gratitude. 

Even when the checkout line is slow. 

(Oh I am so guilty of this)

We need to guard our hearts. 

Be careful what we watch and listen to. 

Intentional steps to cultivate a habit. 

Bitterness and greed are easy to step into. 

It is our default mechanism.

To rise above and shut the door in the face of those temptations is rich. 

So, as this Thanksgiving Day dawns and I want to just crawl back in bed, I am going to walk in the warmth of the memories of Thanksgiving's past. 

Oh, they are rich. 

I am going to treasure each moment for the gift it is. 

If you're in a place where bitterness and pain have become your 
constant companion,let it go. 

Make today different. 

Count your blessings.

Take your eyes off yourself.
Shed the negative.

Find another to bless. 

There is no greater pull out of despair than giving to someone else. 

Reach for a journal and begin the list of that for which your heart is Thankful. 

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:
Memories of the warmth and joy of family together
a home where I can share Thanksgiving meals

a table where all can gather

friends who are family

the blanket of white covering the barren landscape

a farmer who holds me in the night when I can barely breathe

grief; despite the pain and agony. there are lessons to learn

the hope of heaven and the beauty of a sweet reunion

the 17 Thanksgiving's I had with Elijah

a home that is full of laughter and teenagers

a hot cup of coffee

these moments to sit and reflect on all that I have to be thankful for

a season of Thankfulness that is followed by the rich Season of Advent

when we are truly Thankful the message of the cross becomes so much more

this day, this moment and the grace that will be given for the rest

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

May you create a day that is purposefully Thankful.

. 

What A Clean Refrigerator Can Do You For Thankfulness Meter Day # 26 of Thankfulness

Something died in my refrigerator. And I can't find it.

The search has begun.

There is not much in there because we have been away.

But the offending odor must be discovered.

So I do what any self respecting mother does; 

I go to coffee with my girl friends and leave this on the chore list for the girls. 

When I return, the girls have complied with my request. 

(And I didn't find anything tucked under my sheets. I checked)

I did get a glare from the 17 year old. 

It had left her speechless. 

What I was unprepared for was a few days later when I saw something on the shelf in the door. 

It was a bag. 

A plastic bag. 

A bag that I thought the farm boy had taken care of. 

See, he enjoys parts of the cow like, tongue, heart and liver. 

He wanted to cook those. 

I will cook liver. 

That's it. 

The rest; you're on your own. 

And he was. 

And apparently so were the parts. 

Because there they were a week later. 

In my refrigerator

I called the farmer to my rescue. 

He's good at that. 

He's had years of practice. 

He kept a brave front and removed the remains. 

(he doesn't eat liver or any other part)

So. 

Now our refrigerator is smelling just fine. 

No odd forms of mold to be seen. 

Just in time to fill it full with Thanksgiving bounty.

We have so very much to be grateful for.

I pray that this season of Thankfulness has challenged you 
and opened your eyes in new ways. 

I know for me it continues to keep my thoughts resting on the 
One who gave all so we might live. 

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:
daughters who will clean-gross things
quiet moments in the cemetery
deep breaths and hope in Christ
the pink sky in the sunset
the clouds hovering over Mount Mansfield
coffee- in a mug or a cup
a daughter who scours my car for my lost Starbucks card
sunshine and blue skies in November
the ways God is showing our family grace and how to live together
(because it's not easy)
rhythm of farm life
the warmth of the kitchen and the smells of Thanksgiving
my grandparents and parents who established beautiful holiday routines

May all of your preparations for Thanksgiving be full of intentional peace and joy. 
For those of you, like me, who have lost deeply, take a deep breath and hand it all over to the Lord. He will make all of our pain beautiful in his time. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Resting only on solid ground this holiday. 
I humbly seek you Lord. 
I surrender all. 
Reflecting only on the blessings here and now. 
Especially a clean refrigerator. 


Hillsong
I Surrender

Stepping Over Despair Into Gratitude Day #24 of Thankfulness

I shut the light off at the bottom of the stairs. 

Our travels brought us home late. 

It is now the wee hours of the morning and there is laundry and book work. 
There is also hot coffee.

But no milk or eggs. 

The wind is howling and the rain vacillates between hail and soft pattering. 

Before I shut off the light, I glance at his door. 

The reminder each day; so hard. 

I shake my head with the remembering. 

It is so hard. 

If I am not careful, the pull of grief will drag me under. 

The piercing pain and heartache; all consuming. 

It hovers, you know, just under the radar, each and every day. 

The missing. 

The wondering, how things would be. 

College students have begun their trek home. 

Sweet reunions. 

Family. 

I dig in my heels.

The wind whips around the house. 

This drafty old house unable to keep out the chill. 

I will not succumb to the despair and pain of missing. 

I am learning each day to step into the grace offered for the day. 

Because haven't we been given grace enough for today? 

This is the day that counts. 

This is the day we have the power to change. 
We yield to the Master's touch. 
It is in the giving of our selves that He is able to work in us.
His good and perfect will. 

Turkey, pies, Thanksgiving logistics swirl in my head. 

I've been given a rich heritage in family. 

Children and extended family. 

Many will descend on the farm this week. 

Though my red head won't be coming home. 

Many others will. 

The focus on what God has handed here and now. 

Not what will never be. 

There is a challenge in living this life at the foot of the cross. 

It is not easy. 

But there is strength given. 

 2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, 
for my power is made perfect in weakness."

It is strength I will take. 
I am not proud. 
I can not do this on my own. 
It is too hard. 
Too painful. 
Too much. 
So, once again I am laying it all down. 

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

my own bed
fresh brewed coffee
a second cup of freshly brewed coffee
the smell of freshly brewed coffee
the way the mug feels when the mug is between my hands
(you understand, I am very grateful)
this drafty old house; no matter how cold it is outside, it is still warmer in here
the quiet of our home
the rhythm of farm life
my farmer, driving and driving and then getting up to do chores
friends and family who welcome us home and remind us we are loved
a time of Thanksgiving, to be intentional about gratitude
God's word and the message of hope found within
tin on the porch roof and the steady cadence kept
the uniqueness of my children and the gift each one is to our family
growth in spite of the heartache


May this week be about gratitude for you. 
Even if your heart is breaking, step into a path that includes gratitude.
And if you're heart is overwhelmed with joy step into gratitude for the deep gift. 

As you offer your gratitude to God today, here is a song I love. 
Holy, are you Lord God Almighty. 
Worthy is the Lamb. 

Won't you Worship with me and let it all go. 
Hand it all over the One who longs to hold it for you. 
He is worthy. 
He is good. 
He is Holy. 
And He is waiting for you. 

Michael W Smith
Agnus Dei