Thursday, December 26, 2013

Grace That Visits Your Door, When Your Heart Is Breaking On Christmas Day

I don't want to say we made it through the day. 
But we did. 
How do you celebrate Christmas with your 17 year old son buried deep beneath the winter snow?
How do you breathe in and out missing a part of you?
How do you look at stockings and open presents;
 when your heart is shattered into a millions fragments. 
My boy is gone. And I miss him so much. 

But he has gone where Angels trod.
The same Angels that proclaimed the birth of the Most High, 
The same Angels that declared that He is Risen. 
His work finished, here on this earth. 
And no matter how I want to change that.
 I can't. 

So on Christmas morning we do what we know. 

We head to the manger, while the stars still shine and all is still. 
Before the presents are opened;
 we gather to celebrate the only gift that really matters. 
Our hearts are full.

We arrive home to open presents and finish chores.
And then this family heads to the movies. 
On Christmas Day. 
We pack up. 
We do something we rarely do. 
And it was wonderful.
"Saving Mr. Banks", is fabulous movie. It is well done. 
I don't know why it's PG 13.
 It was the perfect movie for Christmas Day. 
Themes of redemption and not letting your past drive you down, but up to something meaningful. 
It was full of hope. 

From there our day continued to be memorable. 
We headed to the airport to pick up a dear cousin. 
Once upon a time ago, I spent all my Christmases with this cousin and his family; his brother too lies deep in the earth. 
Memories swirled in my head thinking back to those times. 
Presents, and happy child glow.
 Music. Always music. 
From the airport we return home to find that the sweetest of step daughter's 
and her family have come a day early. 
They too finding this day out of sorts.
I hold that precious baby.

I haven't finished wrapping or cleaned or made any preparations.
I thought I had another day. 
But it doesn't matter. 
Because sometimes the greatest gifts can't be bought. 
And sometimes God blessings come so unexpected. 
 Childhood memories dance through my head and the treasure of a cousin here in town are what I think about as the day closes on Christmas 2013.

I think about the grace that has visited this farmhouse today.
When it was least expected. 


  1. Through the unimaginable God is with you and your family. You are a very special family and I am blessed to have met you via your blog and your story. Hugs and love, Cheryl

  2. Beauty filled. Thank you once more for your wise eyes and sharing... Amazing Grace ♡♥♡ A&N