Sunday, December 29, 2013

Sometimes I Just Want The World To Stop

5 months. 
Half the time I carried you. 
Long enough for your niece to be born, seasons to change,
your father to have cancer
 and our hearts to break.

Each step forward feels like an eternity;
a conscious effort; 
an act of the will to live without a piece of you.

The desire for the world to stop; because something is so dreadfully not right.
5 months.
Almost half a year.
It doesn't seem possible.

Sometimes in this life we are called to hard steps. The journey rough and unforgiving.
 Finding sure footing is imperative.
As we walk this journey of deep grief and cancer; being aware of our footing is critical.
We are navigating a business, additional appointments, grief and the unknown.
At times I feel as if it could all unravel at any moment.

The farmhouse has been full this week.
Daughter and son in law and the sweetest of babies, cousins, my dad and my brother's family.
It's been such a nice distraction.
But is it a distraction; or is this how we should really live?
Should our doors be flung wide open?
 Flung open to family, friends. . .and yes even strangers?
Because God meets us in these moments.
 Because we have been told:

Hebrews 13:2
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, 
for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

I want to be open. I want to see and hear where God is leading our family.
 It is hard because grief overshadows all we do.
It permeates my soul and clouds my thinking.
Yet amidst all the grief, there is a still small voice.
He beckons for us to:

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

and the for us to:

Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, 
"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves
 and take up their cross and follow me.

There is another change in our journey.
Today is the last Sunday of our Pastor Shepherding our flock.
It is yet another step onto an unknown path.

God knows well these paths.
 He has walked them before the foundation of time.
He will lead us and guide us.
He will strengthen us.
And we will keep our eyes focused.
Our strength will come from One who gave all so we might live.

As we live in community; meeting needs, hearing the stories
that make us who we are, we are being Jesus to a broken world.
We are able to breathe life into deep hurt and pain.
There is freedom in repentance, grace in giving and healing in community.
As the winds of change once again enter our lives, I will cling the rock.


  1. Thinking of you. Hope you had a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year.

    1. Thank you Tammy. Christmas was hard. But Chelsea and Adam decided to drive from Maine that night so we were all together and it was a nice surprise. Hope you all did too.

  2. I don't recall ever hearing this song by's wonderful. Thank you again for your sharing of what the Holy Spirit leads you to for your edification, and because of your compassionate heart-so-like-His, for our uplifting as well. I prayed for you and your sweet Family through the Holidays, and I will continue on into the unknown that the New Year brings. Please lift me and one of my dearest friends in prayer this week, as she will be receiving a diagnosis that has every indication pointing to a horrible cancer. I know the Lord is with us in this, and I don't want to get ahead of Him with any fears or doubts. I will find my strength in Him, and will reach out to her with it as well. Thank you again for sharing, dear Tammy. I look forward to your devotions each day. Love & Prayers, Marguerite

    1. We will add you and your friend to our prayers. Wise woman to not "get ahead of God". He will give you strength and all you need. Praying for grace and peace.