Do you ever struggle?
It creeps in uninvited.
It is different than depression.
In some ways worse.
It is the tool the enemy uses when he can find no other way.
Our Cedric has descended into the pit of discouragement.
It is painful to watch.
In his world nothing is going right.
And he's right.
So much is, oh so wrong.
So many changes for one so young.
As adults we are struggling; how in the face of youth do you take on these monumental burdens?
Cedric has a desire to work this farm; it runs deep through his veins.
He wants to be efficient and thrive.
His personality different from his fathers.
He is quick in his movements, processes information verbally and he wants thing done now.
The youth in him still needing molding and shaping.
Yet, so much like his father.
He is tender and sensitive, creative, and has a stubborness that will help him thrive.
Yet, this discouragement is understandable. There is a job that needs to be done.
The manure pit needs to be emptied.
As the winter comes, much precipitation will be added to the pit and the threat of overflow in the Spring, will be imminent. Thus the need for spreading this fall; before December 15.
Cedric had planned to spread over the Thanksgiving break. Rising before dawn each day to begin the work. Much to his dismay each piece of equipment failed. First, the PTO for the tractor, that we have spent thousands of dollars to repair this year, stopped working. Then the seals on the manure tank went. And so the repairs began. But even those had their own issues.
There have been offers of tractors and help, but without a manure tank, we're stuck.
We could hire someone, but that was not in the budget, nor was the extent of the loss of feed due to multiple flooding this year.
So do you see where he might be discouraged. Lose heart.
His brother taken so quickly in the dark of night.
And now the discouragement has crept in.
This farming way can be a tricky thing.
I try to tell him to be careful, because there are things that are very right.
The milking machines work and we are still able to ship milk.
We have a roof over our heads and because of generous people, we have food on our table.
But when you're discouraged those things don't help.
Really, nothing does.
This whole world can fall apart in front of you, and unless you have Jesus, you're going to be empty and discouraged which will lead to despair.
Without hope, we despair.
The hope comes from that well worn path to the cross each day.
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
It's a new day on the farm.
The wind is biting and snow is in the air.
It will further set in the discouragement.
But it is the farming way. Each day is a blessing.
Each day has trouble of it's own.
And a farmer digs deep down each day to work through the troubles presented for the day.
The farmer finds the good.
His well worn path will rub off on his son.
May your day begin with the well worn path to the cross.
And may the joy of the Advent Season; the hope of Nations be your today.
So here I am, What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering