Monday, December 30, 2013

Sometimes I Just Can't Pray

Sometimes I can't pray. 
There are no words.
I try.
 The enormity of all that has happened
and is happening stifles almost all my being;
and prayer can not happen.
 I know others are praying.
 I can feel it; 
There is a sweet peace that permeates. 
Being still before God is hard to do when your son lies deep beneath the sod of this earth.

When you wait for toxic cocktails and radiation to work their miracle on your husband.

Grief transcends words and emotions.
And I sit to pray and I can't.
I walk to pray, and I can't.
Words don't come.
Usually the tears do.

Yet through each step of this torturous journey, I have been able to Praise.
It hasn't left me.
Not once.
 I can lift my hands to the Father in sweet surrender and sing Praise to His glorious name.
I am able to cry out with hope.
My soul yearns for God's presence moment by moment.
 I long for His comfort and strength.
I long for the day He will return and make all things right.

Psalm 68:4
Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds; 
rejoice before him--his name is the LORD.

When we offer ourselves as a living sacrifice to the One who knows the journey well.
He meets us there.

And He will never let go. . .ever.


  1. Amen. 'So thankful for your blogging. It allows us the privilege of traveling with you. Prayer is words...but tears, praise and blogging must count, too...along with hugs and silence.
    Love you!! j & p

  2. Thank you for sharing these words that encourage and inspire.

  3. Oh!! But, you ARE praying!! Your Father hears the scream of every single tear, He hears the heartache, the fatigue and the pain. The Word tells us that in those moments, days and weeks when we don't know the words needed to express what we're feeling - or not feeling - (Romans 8:26): "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;" dear lady, you keep Praising, for that is prayer, and let the tears flow, for that is prayer....and keep sitting at His feet and make the attempt, for then the Holy Spirit prays what your heart feels but you can't find the words for....and that is prayer. So pray on sister, and know that prayer has not left you. Not one bit. It's just taken on a different form because your needs are different, they're more intense, and heavier, so He is helping you carry the load. {{hugs}}