I just want to say his name.
I want to holler through the house; it's time for dinner, or get down here and pick up your things.
I want to say his name and hear his voice.
I want to buy him a Christmas present and fill his stocking.
My soul wishes for this not to be.
The deep searing pain resurfacing.
The loss permeating all that I do.
The loss permeating all that I do.
Oh, how I miss him.
Oh, how everything in me resonates that this is wrong.
How can the God of the universe, that called all into being, have this be my path?
It has been a year since mom died.
A year since I had only been home a day, when I received the call.
A year since I got in the car and drove 4 hours.
I wasn't there when she died. I wasn't there when my son died.
But I never left things undone.
I always hugged and kissed and said goodbye.
Always.
Mom had been so sick.
We had been praying for the Lord to call her home.
And he did. . .in His timing.
How many times I have picked up the phone to call her.
To call her name.
Every time I see purple I think of her.
She is missed by so many.
It's been a whole year.
Part of that year I have been mourning the loss of our son.
Everything seems wrong.
A year where my heart has ached every single day.
A year of missing mom, of missing the sweet licks and antics of our puppy of missing Elijah and now a journey with cancer.
It has been a year since mom died.
A year since I had only been home a day, when I received the call.
A year since I got in the car and drove 4 hours.
I wasn't there when she died. I wasn't there when my son died.
But I never left things undone.
I always hugged and kissed and said goodbye.
Always.
Mom had been so sick.
We had been praying for the Lord to call her home.
And he did. . .in His timing.
How many times I have picked up the phone to call her.
To call her name.
Every time I see purple I think of her.
She is missed by so many.
Part of that year I have been mourning the loss of our son.
Everything seems wrong.
A year where my heart has ached every single day.
A year of missing mom, of missing the sweet licks and antics of our puppy of missing Elijah and now a journey with cancer.
And there in the middle of my rant; when I am spent and tired.
When I can't possibly shed another tear.
I am reminded of the path our Savior took to the grave;
For me.
To call me by name.
He was born in a humble manger.
No earthly wealth to speak of.
His birth was not announced with beautiful picture cards sent in the mail
or announced over Facebook.
No.
It was proclaimed by the Angels sent from on high.
Luke 2:9-14
When I can't possibly shed another tear.
I am reminded of the path our Savior took to the grave;
For me.
To call me by name.
He was born in a humble manger.
No earthly wealth to speak of.
His birth was not announced with beautiful picture cards sent in the mail
or announced over Facebook.
No.
It was proclaimed by the Angels sent from on high.
Luke 2:9-14
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
All of Creation cried out. Proclaiming and Praising.
It was proclaimed thousands of years before:
Isaiah 7:14
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign,Behold a virgin will conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Emmanuel.
Isaiah 7:14
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign,Behold a virgin will conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Emmanuel.
Matthew 1:21
And you shall give him the name Jesus.
Our names are so important.
Even before they were born, John and Jesus were named.
Even before our children are born, we choose a name.
Even before our children are born, we choose a name.
Jesus is the name above all names.
He who is called by many names:
Jehovah Jireh - my provider
Jehovah Rafa - my healer
Wonderful Counselor
Prince of Peace
It is at this name we bow.
It is at this name that I have my strength and being.
It is for this name we celebrate Advent.
Bowing low to wait.
Leaning in to hear and wonder at it all.
Come Lord Jesus;
make us into a people that long to hear your name above the clatter of the season,
above the pain of searing grief and loss and
above any other name that distracts.
Let this great news, bring us great joy.
make us into a people that long to hear your name above the clatter of the season,
above the pain of searing grief and loss and
above any other name that distracts.
Let this great news, bring us great joy.
Jesus Mesiah
Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
Emmanuel
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from Heaven
Jesus Messiah
Lord of All
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