Tuesday, October 8, 2013

What Does Straight Forward Mean Anyway?

He calls me on my cell. 
I have just arrived at the allergist for Christiana's appointment.

I have cancer he says.

I don't feel a thing. 
Ok. I say. 

It is rare.
Only 30 people in the world have been diagnosed. 
The first case was in Czechoslovakia.
The doctor said I've been talked about all over the world.
It should be straight forward.

In my mind I think, straight forward? 
This was supposed to be a cyst. 
How straight forward is cancer? 

Pslam 139:13
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I don't know what to feel.

We are celebrating 20 years of marriage next week.
I promised more of the story then. . .
I want there to be many more years and stories.

And I feel like nothing lately has been straight forward.

Yet, we arrive home from the long day out.
And a praying saint waits in the driveway.
How did she know we'd arrive at that time?
We pray.
We are not alone.
Another family had planned on making us dinner.
I didn't have to think.
We broke bread together like Kings and Queens.
We are not alone.

One of Gary's favorite Praise Songs is
"In Christ Alone."
In Christ alone, my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

This is the God we know.
This is where we will stand through this storm.
We will stand together.
And we will give Praise no matter what continues to come our way.
Even when we don't feel like it. 
Even when it all feels heavy and weighed down.
We will stand and praise.

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled when strivings ceased
My Comforter, My All in All
Here in the love of Christ. . . We stand. . .


  1. We are praying, praying for Gary, for you, for the whole family. Martha

    1. Thank you Martha. . .One moment at at time.

  2. We lifted Gary and your entire family up in prayer at church on Sunday. We will continue to lift you all up.
    Much love,

    1. Thank you Molly. Trusting. . .Thank you for the prayers.

  3. "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:17-18.

    I don't understand the fire your family is being asked to walk through. None of this makes sense. But I will not stop praying for you all. No matter what God's answer is. I will not stop worshiping our mighty Lord. He has promised us - and He is faithful.

    I was reading Luke last night, and I tucked this one deep down in my heart for the days to come in my own life. I'm believing it for you, too, Tammy. "Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!"


    1. Ah, such powerful words Amy. Thank you. We will praise, we will be faithful.. . .even when it's hard.

  4. Tammy, I dropped by your home a little after noon yesterday to share a hug. No one answered even though there were noises inside and cars in the driveway. That's okay. We know the Lord knows our needs even before we ask, and even when we are too busy to answer his knock on the door. He's always with us and loves us anyway. And we love your family the same way. Cyndy

    1. Oh, always open the door! The house is so big we don't hear the knock. Most people knock and walk in and holler. Very ok in our home. If the laundry is on forget it. Please come again, , and holler. . .:)