Sunday, October 13, 2013

No Time For Good Bye's

The end of a life so sudden
No time for goodbyes
No warning
The waves of shock continue
The sharing of the burden lessen's the load
But the night is dark
and my heart cries out for what it can not have

The seasons change
The air pungent
the earth readies for slumber of winter
there is death all around
each leaf and flower a reminder
that all must come to an end

Where does hope lie?
Where does one go with the torment of grief
The agony of loss
The inability to change the course of events.

The winter only last for a time
 here we do not stay.
For to, means destruction

But, what lies beneath the earth is not idle
Very roots of the trees ready to burst at
first warmth
releasing life bound through winters rest
Only shielding it from view

That which we can not see
life abundant

It's been 11 weeks of missing. 11 weeks that my heart has hurt.
 11 weeks since my sleep was interrupted. 11 weeks of walking hand in hand with our Savior.
 Trying to keep my eyes focused. 
Still wondering when the Saturday nights won't haunt me.

I went out for most of the day. 

. .
I didn't want to go. It is easier to stay home.
But I went and we had fun. 
It was a gorgeous day. 

Gary finished chores early, so we took Cedric to see the Captain Phillips movie. 
Such a normal day. . .when everything doesn't feel normal. 
But we step forward.
We walk through each moment.

The stars were beautiful last night. 
And I looked to the heavens.
And I wonder, what heaven is like?
What is it that Elijah sees? 
He does not need me anymore. 
This is hard. 

And I breathed in the night air. 
And my heart still hurts.
It's a dull ache that just stays with me. 

I glance to the heavens again and I give thanks for the beautiful display. 
And then  I cry.
 I cry for my son. 
I cry for Captain Phillips
 and what he went through and all the people all over the world hurting; corrupt.
I cried because I wonder if Elijah would have been able to do some good in the Marines and bring relief to these corrupt countries. 

One day at a time, trusting in what I know. 
Thanking God for what has been.
Believing that God has a plan. 

Psalm 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.


  1. I am so glad you got out and spent time with friends in the beautiful weather yesterday. He has asked us to step into each day - and no further (Mat 6:34). Praying that you have peace today.


    1. Thank you, It is remembering to go one step at a time. . .and no further.