It is the middle of the day.
I am at the grocery store doing a full shopping for the first time.
My phone rings.
It is Adam.
It is 12:43 p.m.
I feel warm and peaceful inside.
The first time in almost 3 months.
There is new life on the way.
They are at the hospital.
He will call when he knows more.
Before I move on from the place I am, I receive another message from him.
She is 9 cm dilated.
It will not be long.
That girl has done all the hard work before she got to the hospital.
She had gone to work. And come home not feeling well.
They head to the hospital.
And Miss Lilah Rose was born 3 hours later.
Born of farming blood.
Women who work hard.
So foreign to my loud and whiny history.
This has always intrigued me.
These quiet strong men and women.
And we head to Maine.
We pack up and leave just like that.
We don't question or think twice.
Grace fills the farm with folks who nod yes to extra chores.
Because they too know that time is precious.
Because we have learned how fragile life is.
We don't waste a moment.
And by 8:00 p.m. we are holding new life.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Surprisingly memories of my births do not rush forward.
Instead I wonder in awe at the child/woman I have to helped nurture and her husband.
I am over come by the beauty of that love and the grace of new life.
The pains that she went through to bring life.
Given at a price.
I hold that sweet Lilah. I breathe in deep.
Deep into my hurting soul.
Deep into the places that are tender, with searing pain.
I look as our family picture has forever been altered.
But as God takes; He also gives.
I watch as each of our earthly children hold their new niece.
They all love babies.
None afraid to hold.
All with wonder and awe.
Seeking out tiny fingers, noticing opening eyes, cooing words of love to this new life.
And I give thanks for this.
For you are good Lord, so good.
And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb,
and naked shall I return thither:
the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
You are good and your Mercy is forever.
Even when we have lost, even when we hurt,
even when we want to turn because this pain is too hard to bear.
You are still so good.