Sunday, October 20, 2013

Be Still My Soul, As the Waves of Grief Come

Psalm 63:1
O God, you are my God;
    I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
    my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
    where there is no water.
I have seen you in your sanctuary
    and gazed upon your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
    how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
    lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
    I will praise you with songs of joy.

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide. 
It is there I stay. 
He will order and He will provide. 
My every need is under his care. 
And I will still my grieving, aching soul today.

We spend a few days looking at colleges.
A friend and her son join us on this escapade. 
I am grateful for the companionship. 
Each day is a step away from the accident. 
Time moving on.

It is Crystal's birthday. 
We meet her in the city. 
She tags along with our crazy group.
We make memories that will last a lifetime.
Just not the lifetime we all thought it would be.

And we come home. 
And the heaviness returns. 
A lifetime that has changed forever. 
And again I breathe in deep. 
I quiet my soul. 
And I relive the Saturday night all over again.

And this morning when I rise. 
 I need to fight the ache and dark that threaten to overcome.

I hear sweet voices coming from the guest room.
And the 3 daughters living in the house all slept together and are giggling about something.
I breathe in again, and I turn my mourning to praise.
I am still before the only one who can still my aching heart.
Because in my mind 12 weeks is too long, yet in God's it is but a breath.
2 Peter 3:8
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: 
With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, 
and a thousand years are like a day.

Better is one day in your courts. . .

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