Do You Ever Feel Like You're Just Spinning Plates?

You know that time, just before the sunrise?

When there seems to be a hush. 

Time stands still before the day break. 

Yeah. 

I missed it. 

I slept until 6:41. 

I woke with a splitting headache. 

I wanted to burrow back under the covers. 

You see. 

I love to sleep. 

I LOVE to go to bed. 

I look forward all day to going to bed. 

I may have written about this once or twice. 

I love to climb in to bed. 

Book in hand. 

Words woven into story or thought before me. 

Quiet. 

A time when it's ok to rest. 

The feeling of needing to be productive;

ended for a few moments. 
But I love to rise early. 

This morning.

I recoiled at being awake. 

Already behind. 

No quiet time. 

I missed the beauty of the sunrise. 

Coffee a necessity rather than a luxury. 

Isn't that the way?

When it's a luxury it is still wonderful. 

A treasure. 

A gift. 

Coffee; because I want it. 

Quiet time because it's available. 

But when the day starts hard and you're behind;

Coffee is a necessity and you run the list fast through your mind. 

The tyranny of the urgent. 

I bark sharply. 

Breakfast, devotions, lunches, dishwasher, laundry. 

Remembering that when you make yogurt,
 you need to make sure you have a starter before you begin the process. 

Happy Chickens. 

Spin those plates. 

Keep it all going. 

Don't let it fall. 

I breathe. 

This is not how I want life to be. 

Even when I wake late. 

Even when the coffee is the necessity. 

I want my life seasoned with grace. 

Even when there's deadlines. 

I breathe. 

These are the moments that can be the holiest all day. 

The most chaotic moments of the day might also be the holiest. 

When your heart races and things are chaotic.

When you're behind and feel out of control. 

That's when He can do His work. 

It comes in the surrender. 

Knowing that even though all is spinning wildly;

He is not. 

He, is still in control.

This is digging deep. 

So I sip the coffee. 

I breathe deeply. 

I speak gratitude. 

The pace slows. 

Order (what little I have) returns.

I am choosing the way that is filled with the Holy Spirit. 

The way that keeps my feet light. 

That allows me to be used by God at any moment. 

I am holding loosely to the things of this world. 

I am ready. 
With open hands. 

Just Breathe
Jonny Diaz