Saturday, June 6, 2015

Are You Able To Look Forward?

No matter how you look at it. 
This life can be hard. 
It can be painstakingly beautiful, too. 
Sometimes it just seems like the pain rises to the top. 
Usurping the joy. 
Isn't that Satan's way? 
He wants to steal our joy. 
He wants to bring this world to it's knees. 
Missing the beauty of the redemption in Christ. 
Blinding us to that which is holy and good. 
It seeps in. 
A bad day at the office. 
Money issues. 
Kids challenging authority. 
"Busy"ness; running from one kids activity to the next;
all good things. 
All meaningful and important. 
Yet slowly pulling us apart. 
We struggle to find the good in things; 
to take time to be quiet. 
To silence the crazy around us. 
 We wake some mornings wondering where the time went. 
How we got to this place?
I want to fight that mentality. 
I want everything I do here to count for God's glory. 
To be intentional about each step I take. 
To be surrendered to our Holy God so much that I am in tune with His plan. 
Tomorrow our soon to be graduate will share her Senior Testimony at church. 

She will concisely put together her journey in her faith. 
She has been working on what she will say. 
Typing it out. 
Re reading it. 
Checking the timing. 
So different from her older brother. 
He sat at the breakfast bar with some 40 days left on this earth. 
He scratched out some words on an index card. 
He asked for a reference to a bible verse. 
And he delivered a speech that was powerful and in so many ways his last words to us. 

And I fight the fear that grows. 
Are these her last words too?
I cry for God to not take her too. 

And this life can be hard. 

Satan desires to steal my joy. 
He longs for me to not enjoy these days. 

To be overcome with fear and apprehension. 
But he will not stand. 

Isaiah 8:10
Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted; 
propose your plan, but it will not stand, for God is with us.

Because our God is stronger and our God is mighty. 

I John 3:20
If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts,
 and he knows everything.

With God on my side, 
I will stand through these days. 
I will trust Him and rest in the joy each day will bring. 

I will not live in fear. 

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I will find the joy. 
I will stand on the hope that awaits me. 
I will look forward to hearing the words this beautiful girl will share. 

I will look forward to seeing how God's plan will unfold in her life. 
I will look forward. 

Proverbs 4:25
Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.

Chris Tomlin 
Our God 


  1. Beautiful post, Tammy. You're always an inspiration. I pray your family will cherish these moments and find enjoyment in them, despite your heartache.

    1. Thank you Laura. Reaching and digging to find the joy that Christ has even through the broken times.

  2. Tammy, such beautiful thoughts. Thank you for sharing your journey with so many of us who don't have the skills to put our thoughts to "paper" as you do. May you find the path to truly enjoy these moments with all your children and to step out from under this fear.

    1. Learning each moment to enjoy these times. Thank you for reaching out. I have enjoyed our times together!

  3. Thank you so much for sharing, Tammy. Your words have really struck a chord with me today. Your ministry is just incredible- you have such a high calling on your life!

    1. I pray Brittany, that I may be faithful and trust God with what He will do with our story. There is still much to write. . .

  4. I agree with the above comments, Tammy! Beautiful words from a mother's tender heart, still broken. You are doing the best thing and that is putting scripture in your mind and heart. It will not return void. Your daughter is beautiful and I know you've played a vital role in shaping her. Many blessings as she shares of her faith journey. Hugs from your southern friend!!

    1. Thank you dear Southern Friend. It is good to hear from you. I have missed you. Resting and trusting in the One who knows the future. . . .yes?