Sunday, January 17, 2016

My Name is Tammy and I Make my Bed Everyday

I haven't showered. 
Laundry is piled on the floor. 
Book work stacked on the table and in piles. 
It's tax time you know. 
And the beat of that clock is ticking. 
I can feel it. 
I make my bed. 
In the middle of all the chaos. 
There is one thing. 

I make my bed. 

What does that say about me? 
I am sure psycho therapists would have a field day. 
Of all the things that need to get done. 

I make my bed. 

Every day. 
With out fail. 
I wash my sheets too. 
Almost every week. 
I have curtains that are falling apart. 
Clutter everywhere. 
But sheets that are crispy clean. 
I don't know why I do these things. 
I do know they bring me great comfort. 
A routine. 
Get up. 
Plug in coffee. 
Use the bathroom. 
Make bed. 
Get dressed. 
I don't even have to think about it. 
Nothing else seems to be routine. 
It all seems jumbled and chaotic. 
A spinning, whirling mess. 
I come up for air at times. 
Only to plunge again into the rhythm of living. 
There are days that I don't feel. 

The day structured so I can move 
through methodically. 
Folding laundry. 
Correcting math. 
Driving to dance. 
Cooking dinner. 
All without a thread of feeling. 

It is those days I wonder. 

How can I do this until eternity beckons?

Because the long term hurts. 

Short term is easier. 
I can do anything for a short time. 
I can make it. 
Small goals. 
But long term? 
Seems too far out there. 
Too many unknowns. 
Too many risks. 
That is how I feel. 
I don't even know how to risk anymore. 

Or do I? 
Can I run this race? 

Hebrews 12:1
 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

So, am I still a risk taker?
Can can I go the distance? 
When I think on my day. 
The risks far out weigh the safety of anything else. 
Each day I watch and navigate as I lead children
 in the way they should grow. 
Often on little sleep and a super tight budget. 
We mamas rise up. 
We balance meals and check books.
We negotiate and implement multiple strategic
 plans throughout each day. 
 Building an Army for the Lord. 
Raising children to serve Him. 
To be empathetic;
in a world hostile to the gospel.
 The clock is ticking. 
Ticking closer to eternity. 

There are precious moments left. 
What will you do with those moments? 
How will you spend the time until Eternity beckons?

I will still make my bed. 
I will enter the struggle of the pain and joy. 
Yielding to the Father. 
Rising up in His strength. 
And yes. 
I will still make my bed. 

Because hidden deep in that task is the decades
 old practice of bowing low.

Getting out of bed. 
Seeking first the kingdom of God. 
Pulling up the sheets.  
Praying for the day. 
Straightening the comforter
Pleading for a marriage bed to be pure. 
Arranging pillows. 
Seeking guidance. 
Admitting my inability to do this journey alone. 

That is how I will do the long term. 
By living in the short term. 
For Him. 
By His grace. 

Isaiah 40-29-31
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.


  1. Your words speak for so many of us who have lost, we live in the moment, a step at a time. The future is what we will do in the next five minutes, thinking too far ahead or of a future, is too overwhelming, so we live in the moment and let God guide us along our new path.


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