Two and half years of Missing, Two and a Half Years of Much Grace

Two and a half years. 

The beautiful words of remembrance, faded away. 

Time passing. 

Life moving forward. 

Memories; a gift. 

The Lord's sweet provision. 

A gift to be treasured. 

A legacy of photo's. 

God made sure there were pieces to hold on to. 

A heart full of memories. 

I still don't like this plan. 

My whole being longs for a different path. 

But that is not to be. 

So, with my whole heart I will praise the One who calls me by name. 

I am grateful for wonderful 17 years.

Healthy, fun, crazy, frustrating, chaotic, beautiful years. 

Two and a half years ago my life changed forever. 

The journey is difficult. 

Grace given for each day. 

A friend gave me Tim Keller's book , 

Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering. 

I have been plugging away at the book. 

It is only now that I am ready to hear what this wise man has to say. 

His message meant for me now. He writes,

 "If God is Infinitely powerful as you say-why doesn't he stop evil?" But a God who is infinitely more powerful than us would also be infinitely more knowledgeable than us. pg 98 

If you have a God infinite and powerful enough for you to be angry at for allowing evil. Then you must at the same time have a God infinite enough to have 

sufficient reasons for allowing that evil. pg 99

This is a powerful truth. 

God is allowing this pain. 

He has allowed all that has transpired to be. 

He also has reasons that are beyond my understanding. 

Today we remember, as we do each day. 

We walk into gratitude with purpose. 

God knows our pain and heartache. 

He is working all things for the good of those who love Him. 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

While my heart aches; I am becoming all that God longs for me to be. 

I am choosing joy. 

I am choosing gratitude.