Pushing Regret Out The Door

It was Prom. 

Such a beautiful evening. 

Sunshine.

Excitement. 

Anticipation. 

Beauty. 

Each moment a gift to be treasured. 

Because you never know when they may be gone. 

I ask for one thing. 

A family picture; from Prom. 

I have none from the boy. 

A regret. 

A request I make. 

And this is what I get. 

I love it. 

Always room for a giggle. 

Somehow there is always a space though. 

I don't know how it works.

In the center. 

A hole. 

A hole in my heart that burns. 

Yet a hole that was filled last night by the joy seen. 

A reminder of life.

Friends.

Life long friends. 

Youth. 

Treasured friendships. 

Gods gift to us.

Hold them close. 

No regrets

John 15:12-15

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Throwing it back to my High School days. When I chose God over everything else. 

In turbulent times, He reached out and touched my life. 

Set me on a solid rock with a firm foundation. 

And I have never turned back.

He has filled me with joy. . . even when the unspeakable happens. 

I am forever grateful. 

He knew the storms that would come my way. 

He knew I would need Him. 

He knew my friends would be needed to hold me through these days.  

I cherish all my friendships, whether they been for 40 years or 40 days.

The gift of friendship. 
What a thing.

Turning Around Another First

A year of firsts that leave you undone. 

Reminders of all you have lost. 

Days when you shut the door to your heart because you absolutely can not feel anymore. 

You push hard, so you can breathe. 

Each breath measured so the next one will come. 

Bearing the weight that threatens to crush. 

Holding on with all you have; to promises made long before time began. 

Jeremiah 31:3

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

It's prom. 

A thoughtful request for her to attend.

And it's going to be beautiful. 

Her dress bought. 

Nails done. 

Plans made. 

Yet, I can't help but remember. 

The memory still strong. 

The future looming. 

All the excitement.

The magic of the time. 

He was late as usual. 

Last minute. 

Hurrying around. 

The house was in an uproar. 

Shoes.

Tux. 

Bow tie. 

It all had to be just right. 

He was that way.

There were places he needed to be. 

A time schedule he wished wasn't there. 

But he stopped. 

For me.

He didn't have to. But he did. 

And this is how we remember him. 

The picture most all of you have. 

Time marches on. 

And it is prom again. 

I will cook. 

I will look around the room.

I will breathe deep the memories gone by. 

The memories yet to be. 

I will step into gratitude for 17 years. 

For the beautiful picture. 

Though I sway with the enormity of the loss. 

I face the journey Christ has called us to with the strength that only He can provide. 

Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.