Turning Around Another First

A year of firsts that leave you undone. 

Reminders of all you have lost. 

Days when you shut the door to your heart because you absolutely can not feel anymore. 

You push hard, so you can breathe. 

Each breath measured so the next one will come. 

Bearing the weight that threatens to crush. 

Holding on with all you have; to promises made long before time began. 

Jeremiah 31:3

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

It's prom. 

A thoughtful request for her to attend.

And it's going to be beautiful. 

Her dress bought. 

Nails done. 

Plans made. 

Yet, I can't help but remember. 

The memory still strong. 

The future looming. 

All the excitement.

The magic of the time. 

He was late as usual. 

Last minute. 

Hurrying around. 

The house was in an uproar. 

Shoes.

Tux. 

Bow tie. 

It all had to be just right. 

He was that way.

There were places he needed to be. 

A time schedule he wished wasn't there. 

But he stopped. 

For me.

He didn't have to. But he did. 

And this is how we remember him. 

The picture most all of you have. 

Time marches on. 

And it is prom again. 

I will cook. 

I will look around the room.

I will breathe deep the memories gone by. 

The memories yet to be. 

I will step into gratitude for 17 years. 

For the beautiful picture. 

Though I sway with the enormity of the loss. 

I face the journey Christ has called us to with the strength that only He can provide. 

Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.