Wednesday, May 28, 2014

10 Months Of A Road I Never Thought I Could Walk

The days move along. 
Time has no respect for the heart. 
Maybe it was designed that way. 
The beat steady. 
10 months of a cadence that is unfamiliar. 
A longing each day for what can not be. 

 Reaching deep for strength. 
The earth a glow with spring color. 
Matchless in it's wonder. 
A palette stretched with colors unimaginable. 
The magnitude of loss so great; it mars the beauty. 
So I work. 
I step to see. 
10 months. 
I remember when you were 10 months. 
Ready to walk. 
Red hair; thick. 
But it's your hands I remember most. 
I would sit night after night and hold them. 
Memorize them. 
I wonder if my spirit knew. . . 
They were big and chubby at that time. 
And I would dream of all you would become. 
Would your hands be gentle like your daddy's?
Full of love and years of work. 
Would they make music?
Nights of wondering. 
Now the nights have ended. 
The wondering over. 
You are in the presence of the Holy and Mighty. 
Your music sweet and hands that have touched the glory of the Most High. 
Each day dawns. 
Time pressing onward. 
Reminders all around. 
Seeking the only solace that will comfort. 
Won't you step out today?
No matter the heartache, joy or situation.
Gaze at the wonder around. 

Step into praise. 

Psalm 100
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;[a]
 we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

    and his courts with praise!
    Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;

    his steadfast love endures forever,
    and his faithfulness to all generations.


  1. Thank you Tammy - when I awoke today, I was reminded, by a note from a friend, that today marks 6 years since Jon died...and you know, it tends to 'slip up' on us now - I don't exactly know what that means, but the heart knows - cranky/out of sorts/not knowing exactly what is wrong - and then, the note - oh, right - today - it was today.....
    But yesterday we had a blessing of another sort - a real 2 Cor. 1:4 moment - the lady next door had left her car lights on, and as we talked to her when she came out, it turned into her coming over for tea, because it was getting on towards twilight and a bit chilly - and we talked at length about her son who she had lost a few years ago - and shared our story as well. The relief she felt with us - not that we are anything special - but the fact that she could talk freely with us - practically strangers until then - about things that few understand, or worse, are made uncomfortable by - it was a blessing to her - and a reminder to us that nothing is wasted - even the worst of it is still redeemed in His hands. We think of you often - it never goes away, but it does change - and as I've said before (stealing someone else's saying) 'the cracks let the light out - and sometimes the really big cracks let out a lot of light". God bless you both on this terrible journey - but I leave you with this (from our neighbour) - she had lost her brother when she was younger, and she said "It was only because I had seen my parents go through their grief that I believed that I could somehow get through losing my son" - those are some pretty powerful words. Rich and Karen

    1. It's hard to believe it's 6 years. It still feels like yesterday when Gordon called. When I sat next to Karen Anderson. . . remembering. Watching you. 6 years closer to Christ's return. Grateful for your presence with your neighbor. Oh how merciful God is and obedient you are. . .