Sunday, May 18, 2014

Changing The Desires Of My Heart

I wash dishes.  
Over the sink is the verse;

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I have glanced at these words now for weeks. Each and every day.
I read them.
I let the words sink in. 
Words of truth. The Ancient Word. 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

I cry out to God to hold me. To give me strength. 
Sometimes I feel like I am going through the motions. 
Blindly stepping on the path. 
Just keep moving forward. 
I don't want to stop and think.
I long to not feel.

I ask God how can I not be dismayed?
I wipe the counters. 
I stare at the picture of Elijah. 
How was this plan helping me? 

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

He will give you the desires of your heart. 
Oh, the desire of my heart. 

You can't give me what I want. I say in return. 
Each day a wrestling match between what I want and what reality is before me. 

But I can change what you want.

I hear it loud and clear. 
He can change my heart. 
He can take all of me and mold me to his likeness. 
He can change what my heart desires. 
The desires of my heart become His desires.
What I long for becomes in tune with His ultimate plan.
We are so limited in what we are able to see.
The walk much the same with our children.
They bristle and recoil at our boundaries and expectations.
They, stretching their wings; reaching for independence and something more than what they are.
We guard our children's hearts and work hard to protect them.
So it is with God.
He shows us a better way; not always the way we would like.

We sit on the porch.
3 Saints of the faith.
Rich in years of a walk with the Lord.
We bow before the heavenly throne.
These front porch visits, storming the gates of heaven have become balm for my wounds.

Prayer is one of the underused tools God has given his people.

I will continue to wait upon the Lord.

He and He alone will change the desires of my heart.

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