Friday, May 2, 2014

A Broken Pot (Yes Very Cracked) But Not Beyond Repair

The thoughtless words come spewing out. 
I am angry. 
My anger is directed at no one in particular.
The tender soul of the blue eyed girl receives the brunt. 
I feel out of sorts. And lashing out is my first reaction. 
Those words can not be taken back. 
No matter how deeply I ask for forgiveness. 
They came out.

I Corinthians 13:4-6
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

They were in my sin ladened heart. 
It's the forgiveness I sought. 
But it wasn't forth coming. 
She was hurt. 
And my words; the one's asking for forgiveness meant nothing. 
The others were piercing and that's what she's thinking.
How we need to watch our words. 

Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are a honeycomb, 
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Words that can encourage and breathe life.
Not painful, hurtful, biting remarks.

Psalm 119:103
How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

My heart constricts at her coldness.
I offended my sweet daughter and I feel awful.
She unwilling to forgive.
We both have lessons to learn.
Raw emotions leave us open for hurt.
Unwilling to let go.
I gaze into those baby blue eyes brimming with tears.
How could I let the words fly?
How could I hurt this tender soul?
Sometimes I just want off of this spinning journey we call life.
I can't seem to do it right.
The stress of the day and the tierney of the urgent reek havoc with my sense of calm.
So when I blow, it's a mess.
These are the moments Jesus shows up.
He reminds us of our sin and brokenness.
 He also reminds us of how much we have been forgiven.
Because we aren't always going to get it right.
We aren't always going to say the right thing.
But we are a forgiven people.
God in his mercy extended grace.
I will not always be forgiven by my children.
I will not always get it right.
But I will always be loved and cherished by the One who created me.
I am a work in progress.
A broken pot. (Yes very cracked)
But not beyond repair.
Jesus longs to reach down and fix it all.
At the end of the day. When the exhaustion has taken over and the mist of sleep is heavy.
I whisper to the blue eyed child again.
I am sorry. So sorry. 
She reaches up, gazes into my eyes, and hugs me tight.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive one another 
if any of you has a grievance against someone. 
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.


  1. You are not alone in your imperfect parenting! We all say things we wish we could take back. Don't forget about all of the things you do SO well as a mother -- soooo loving!
    We do have an awesome God who is forgiving; turn it over to Him.
    Love you!

    1. We aren't perfect. But it's the hurt that they remember. . . .You can do all the good and it takes one harsh moment to negate all the good. . . We have to be careful and guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Turning it over every moment. Love you too! Saw your sweet hubby today.

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