It's going to be hot.
But there is a threat of rain.
It amazes me how quickly our weather can change.
The day will begin gorgeous and turn to torrents of rain in a moment.
That volatility is what I feel with my emotions.
Some days I am strong.
I can make it through.
I breathe deep and I can feel the power of the Holy Spirit giving strength.
Other days I am consumed with a deep stabbing ache.
Grief is hard work.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Our country; the church, have done a shameful thing in rushing those who grieve.
People don't know how to deal with our raw emotions.
They do not want to talk about it.
They think we should be "over it" by now.
People have told me they are uncomfortable.
Between my mom, Elijah and cancer, they don't know what to say.
Most of the time words are not needed.
Just reminding us we are not alone is a good place to start.
Showing up and working through the tough times.
That's what is needed.
God understands the direction our paths need to take.
We need to be open and ready.
The rain came and renewed the earth.
You could feel the cool air.
There is a quietness after a heavy rain.
I walk out to the fence line.
The rain enhances the colors.
The greens are so vibrant.
The sparkle in the water droplets mesmerizing.
I breathe deep.
I look around.
I walked out here the morning after Elijah's funeral.
I walked barefoot.
I just wanted to feel.
So raw.
I stand here today; almost a year later.
I still don't know what the future holds.
I feel more unsure of things than I ever have.
Except for this.
I know that we are held.
There is a plan.
A hope so sure; solid ground even when it feels like there is none.
2 Timothy 4:7-8
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
They do not want to talk about it.
They think we should be "over it" by now.
People have told me they are uncomfortable.
Between my mom, Elijah and cancer, they don't know what to say.
Most of the time words are not needed.
Just reminding us we are not alone is a good place to start.
Showing up and working through the tough times.
That's what is needed.
God understands the direction our paths need to take.
We need to be open and ready.
The rain came and renewed the earth.
You could feel the cool air.
There is a quietness after a heavy rain.
I walk out to the fence line.
The rain enhances the colors.
The greens are so vibrant.
The sparkle in the water droplets mesmerizing.
I breathe deep.
I look around.
I walked out here the morning after Elijah's funeral.
I walked barefoot.
I just wanted to feel.
So raw.
I stand here today; almost a year later.
I still don't know what the future holds.
I feel more unsure of things than I ever have.
Except for this.
I know that we are held.
There is a plan.
A hope so sure; solid ground even when it feels like there is none.
2 Timothy 4:7-8
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
