Independence and a Birthday

She sits on my lap. 

She's so long.

She tries to curl in a ball. 

Those legs are not letting her. 

Our firecracker. 

The youngest;

is 11. 

The 4th of July a fitting birthday. 

Her eyes twinkle and sparkle like her dad's;

though, the color of mine. 

She reaches first for babies. 

Soothes them like no other. 

A gift. 

A beautiful sunset will not escape her notice. 

She will attempt to capture the beauty.

She can teeter on the edge of wrath one moment and love 

whole heartedly in the next. 

She is fiercely independent. 

Like the holiday of her birth. 

Her faith working itself out. 

Softening the edges as she lives. 

A tender heart;

Explosive temper. 

Learning to accept and extend grace. 

She is growing. 

She creates beauty through music. 

She is the last. 

The next generation begun. 

And I've tried to learn from the others. 

To sit longer. 

To hold the moment. 

I don't want to miss anything. 

We get so busy living we sometimes miss that which is in front of us. 

I've tried hard. 

This day also marks the first day of our blog. 

With the encouragement of our children I began to write

 down my streams of consciousness. 

My thoughts. 

It has become a life line for me as I work through deep grief,

a challenging farming season, and our young ones flying the coop. 

This will also be the last blog on this site! 

Stay tuned for new and exciting things to come!!

Check our face book or this site for a new and improved look!

Our prayer for you all this Independence day is that you know sweet Freedom. 

Freedom from all that can weigh you down. 

That you know that you are loved beyond anything that you could ever imagine. 

There is a hope so sure. 

A plan set in motion before time began. 

Your life has purpose. 

Your life has meaning. 

We all can help to make this journey here on earth a better one. 

One day we will be called home. 

But until that day, there is much work to be done. 

Seek. 

Ask. 

You will find. 

Matthew 7:7

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; 

knock and the door will be opened to you.

When You Become the Same Age as Your Brother

He's turning 17.

That farm boy. 

The same age as his brother. 

No longer here. 

The two so similar.

Yet so different. 

My heart aches. 

The farm boy is full of ideas.

So creative.

Full of energy and youth. 

He loves deeply.

Plays hard.

Confident. 

Yet is haunted by the joy thief. 

He rises to fight. 

He digs deep to keep two feet planted. 

He's growing corn; trading vehicles. 

Making payments on a tractor. 

Building his future. 

Yet these things he holds lightly in view of eternity. 

Because that's his desire. 

A life lived in surrender. 

No matter the struggle. 

While he works to create his path,

 he rests in the One who is making that path. 

I watch as the farm boy heads out the door. 

I think about the day he was born. 

Labor beginning just as the alarm sounds to head to the barn at 3 a.m.. 

His arrival at 4:19 a.m.

Born just as milking begins. 

Quick.

He's grown about 5 inches this year. 

No longer a young boy. 

He's a man. 

And it's hard on the mama. 

I want to fight his battles. 

I want the world to be nice to him. 

I want to shield him from the death of his brother and everything else.

He's my boy. 

But he is God's boy first. 

And long ago on a Sunday morning I handed over the

authority to the One who called us to life. 

I surrendered this beautiful child to the King of all Kings. 

I remember that vow. 

I hold tightly to knowing God is fighting for him; more than me. 

God is rejoicing over him. 

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is with you,

    the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you;

    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,   

 but will rejoice over you with singing.

So today, I rejoice. 

It is work. 

Some day it won't be. 

I walk the path of gratitude for his life. 

I shake off the "what ifs". 

Happy Birthday Cedric Trevor Davis. 

You are a gift and a treasure. 

I looking forward to how God will use you for His glory. 

Thank you for your energy and zest in this life. 

May your blue eyes always twinkle. 

Celebrating my Farmer

He hangs yellow ribbons. 

This farmer of mine. 

He texts the college girl on her way home. 

She's on a bus headed our way. 

"He'll tie a yellow ribbon round the Old Oak Tree."

She needs to look up the lyrics. 

You tube will show her what her parents have neglected. 

We pull into the driveway. 

There are yellow ribbons. 

I wonder at it. 

Had I missed these before I left. 

She gradually unfolds the story. 

I marvel at the gesture. 

Yellow ribbons and a song to welcome his daughter home. 

His quiet ways. 

His gentle and thoughtful manner. 

And I marvel at this man. 

A man I have been married to for 22 years;

still surprises me in so many ways. 

He's turning 60 today. 

His life has held so much. 

Joy and heartache interwoven through the years. 

Somehow he has remained solid as a rock through these winding threads. 

Faithful. 

Steady. 

Full of hope. 

Even when the joy thief crashed through. 

There was hope. 

His faith unrelenting. 

Rising before the sun to milk;

 keeping his phone set to reading through the Ancient Word. 

The milking parlor his sanctuary. 

Prayer lists on the wall. 

Ever before him. 

A reminder; slow and steady. 

Life is not a race. 

I bristle at his pace. 

My harsh, abrupt ways; clashing. 

The world always beckoning me. 

Hurry. 

Fit more in. 

We're going to be late. 

While he waits in the background. 

Quiet and steady. 

The rhythm of the chores a cadence for life. 

Lessons to be learned. 

The way of the farmer. 

Strong. 

Resting. 

Solid. 

Unhurried. 

Nursing and coaxing life into being.  

Rising and falling with the milk prices. 

Taking each pitfall in stride. 

Present in each moment. 

Never wavering. 

He models the Father with each step he takes. 

A pace lost to most these days. 

He stops to tie ribbons for his daughter. 

He indulges a farm niece and helpers with rogue calves. 

His words are few. 

His actions resounding. 

Echoing for generations to come. 

A legacy. 

A faith. 

My farmer. 

Happy Birthday!

The Farmette is Two!!!

The farmette is two today!

Surprise text I received when Chelsea and my dear friend, who now resides with the King of Kings, came to visit. That was my house!! 

She surprised me with a visit!

She turned one! 

And now she's two!

Where does the time go? 

When I sent Chelsea the picture of the beautiful sunrise,

this morning, which reminded me of Elijah's home going. . . 

She said, maybe he is saying Happy Birthday to Lilah. 

I think so. 

Happy 2nd Birthday Lilah Rose! 

Looking forward to seeing all God will do your life. 

I wonder if you will drink coffee, with mommy and Gram-Tam? 

You know, the important things. 

We love you! 

When You Become Older Than Your Brother

Today. 

She is 18.

The age her brother never saw. 

The age we were anticipating. 

She, now older than him. 

We knew this would happen. 

He will remain. . . Young Forever.

She,will forge on ahead. 

A life full of hopes and dreams. 

She will cling to her rock. 

Her Savior. 

Trusting for each day. 

At Summer Bible Camp she gave a testimony. 

Brief. 

Yet a reminder that Jesus reigns. 

That her life belongs to another. 

Her pain and sadness is known by a Holy and Loving God. 

That Elijah is safe. . . at home. 

With God. 

Truth.

I marvel at her strength. 

Her perseverance. 

Her willingness to share; God is in control. 

Her desire to live intentionally. 

We will celebrate this life given to us. 

No matter how hard the walk grows to be, One thing remains;

Isaiah 40:28

Do you not know? Have you not heard? 

The LORD is the everlasting God, 

the Creator of the ends of the earth. 

He will not grow tired or weary, 

and his understanding no one can fathom.

Today. 

She is 18. 

Today. 

We choose to celebrate. 

This picture is. . . and will remain one of my most favorites. 

Happy Birthday Clarissa!