Saturday, February 28, 2015

Stepping Through The Plan I Do Not Understand

I will go to the funeral of a dear friend today. 

It is also the 19th month Anniversary of our sons home going. 

With many of the same people, we will celebrate the life of one lived so very well. 
Through song and prayer we will lift our voices to the heavens. 
We will remember. 

Why does the pain of this life become overwhelming? 
I feel some days that grief is all I know. 
As my dad succumbs to the memory thief and we need to make decisions about 
his care my heart feels so weighted. 
This life feels heavy. 
I can't seem to find my way around heartache. 
Do you ever feel this way? 

Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

It's been 19 months since my red head called me mom. 

Since he slept in his bed. 
It's been 19 months of feeling so out of sorts. 
Each day learning to walk a new path. 

Each day surrendering. 
 Finding refuge in truth and hope.
I want to reach through the veil. 
I want to see him. 
Yet, the pull of the work needed to be done here draws me in. 
The daily necessities; the purpose and plan. 
A reminder of a divine purpose. 
A plan which I do not understand. 
But in which I trust. 
The rhythm and cycle of life continues. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

We will gather with friends from far and near today to celebrate a beautiful life. 
She breathed strength and life into me. 
We all miss her. 
Heaven's choir gained a glorious soul. 

It was an honor and gift to know her. 

It was an honor and gift to parent our son for the years we were given. 

My farmer keeps reminding me that 19 months is nothing compared to all of eternity. 
And so I will set my heart on eternity. 

Ecclesiates 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

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