Saturday, February 7, 2015

Do You Ever Fail To See What Is Right In Front Of You?

I was plagued by a debilitating headache yesterday. 

One that wouldn't let go. 
It's grip tight. 

I had time too. 
My kids were all out of the house. 

Such a rare occurrence. 

But I was so unproductive. 
It took me all day to balance the check book. 
One item in a long list of tasks needed to be completed. 
I felt frustrated and annoyed.
The last time I experienced a headache that debilitating was 2 days before Elijah met Jesus. 
It rendered me useless. 
Driving me to bed - which rarely happens. 
I remember it so clearly because, once again, my kids were all out of the house. 
2 were at camp. 
2 were playing with their cousin. 
I had a long list of tasks that needed to be completed. 
I stood in my room and looked out the window and prayed. 
I was missing my mom and was headed in 2 days to see my dad. 
His situation deteriorating quickly. 

So this headache yesterday, felt similar. 
I took a moment to sit on the couch. 
But it felt wrong. 
I had all this time. 
Sitting on the couch was not going to get the list accomplished. 

What I failed to see, both days, was the opportunity to pray. 
To sit quietly before the Lord. 

Why is it so hard for me to grasp the need for solitude? 

Mark 1:35
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, 
Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

To quiet ones soul before the heavenly throne? 

I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.” 
― Elisabeth ElliotPassion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control

My headache is gone. 
I turn on the fire to take the chill off the room. 

A steaming cup of coffee in my hands brings me great joy. 

I will take time for quiet. 
Then I will attack my to do list with gusto. 
Thankful for a clear mind. 
While situations around me rage with uncertainty. 
I will rest and be content in what I know. 

I will look for the opportunities to be still. 
This old farmhouse is not often quiet. 
It's seams bursting with friends and activity. 
My journey will be to find the holy in the chaos. 
The quiet in the chatter. 
The peace in the turmoil. 
The joy in the grief. 

God is God. Because he is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what he is up to.” 
― Elisabeth Elliot

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