Friday, December 5, 2014

She Loved God, She Loved Purple; She Was Our Mom

She loved purple.
She loved God. 
She and my dad fought most of their married life. 
Good old knock down drag out fights. 
Yet loved fiercely. 
They stayed true to the institution of marriage. 
Maybe that was the secret. 
Things weren't left undone. 

For better, or worse. 
Her home was immaculate. 
She and my dad built their dream log cabin in the woods. 
They had plans to travel. 
God had other plans.
She would travel; but mostly only as far as Boston and to the inside of a hospital.
Cancer would be her companion for 9 years. 
She would learn to live with this unwanted roommate. 
Her life not much altered. 
Cancer would not have the last word; 
she prayed. 

She trusted. 
Even when my dad showed signs of shacking up with the memory thief. 
She never wavered. 
She just added doctors visits and chemo to her daily tasks 
and busy social calendar. 
She persevered with a fierce resolve.

For a season of my life I was at odds with my mom. 
Our views of the world different. 
Hers, through rose colored glasses; me through concrete realism. 
Until one day, with the help of my Mother in law, I began to see that relationship in a different light. 
A changed perspective; work. 

A relationship worth fighting for. 
And I did. 
I changed. 
God blessed. 
I had the honor and privilege of caring for my mom. 
And I miss her. 

It is two years since she journeyed home to be with Jesus. 
Two years of some of the hardest moments I've ever experienced. 
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. 
I am reminded of her in so many ways. 

A random purple gift bag in with the Christmas gift bags, 
A purple Christmas tree in a shop. 
A laugh; each Christmas ornament on the tree,
 given to each of the kids each year. 
A legacy. 
A reminder. 

This Christmas Season as we celebrate, I think about my mom. 
She made Christmas beautiful and holy. 
It was magical and reverent all at the same time. 
Even Santa bowed low to the Magnificence of a Savior born.
Her enthusiasm was contagious. 
She never met a stranger. 
She loved music; all kinds. 

And now she dwells with the Most High. 
Her pain all gone. 
She also resides with my boy. 
And I am sure there is great rejoicing in the heavenly realms. 

Mom, I am grateful for the years I was able to spend with you. 
I am glad God helped to make our relationship what it was. 
I am so thankful for your witness to our living God. 
Because I never would have been able to walk this road with out the rock solid faith you showed in every aspect of your life. 

Last year I wrote these words. And they resonate with my heart this day. 

Jesus is the name above all names. 
He who is called by many names:
Jehovah Jireh - my provider
Jehovah Rafa - my healer
Wonderful Counselor
Prince of Peace

It is at this name we bow. 
It is at this name that I have my strength and being. 
It is for this name we celebrate Advent.
Bowing low to wait.
Leaning in to hear and wonder at it all. 
Come Lord Jesus;
make us into a people that long to hear your name

 above the clatter of the season,
above the pain of searing grief and loss and
above any other name that distracts.

Let this great news, bring us great joy. 

Jesus Mesiah
Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from Heaven
Jesus Messiah
Lord of All

Chris Tomlin
Jesus Messiah


  1. I, too, in later years matured enough and with Godly counsel was able to forgive my mother who loved the Lord with all her heart for not being able to be the mother I needed her to be. my prayer was. "father, forgive her for she knows not whar she does!"
    God transformed her and me right before out eyes, Talented, full of life but with a sharp tongue that could wound quickly, she became sweet and gentle and there was a tenderness between us the last few years of her life. There was a dichotomy I couldn't reconcile. How could she be such a devout Christian and hurt those she loved? The Lord told me, "I use her, in spite of herself!"
    Jean Drury

    1. I am blessed to have learned the lesson of changing expectations early.

  2. Thank you so much for this post. I miss Lynne so much. RLutz

    1. She was loved by so many. . . and loved others richly and deeply.