She's Growing Up And I Am Powerless to Stop It

She flashes those baby blues. 

She is beautiful.

She has grown inches over the past year. 

All the kids have. 

Death and cancer have that effect. 

Her tender heart still unsure. 

Her writing reflecting her struggle. 

She turns 12 today. 

Her last year before the teens. 

And I marvel at how she has grown. 

How this little baby born on one of the holiest of nights,

 has turned into a lovely young woman. 

Her smile lights up a room. 

She is the first to snuggle of all our kids. 

Her spirit; sensitive.

She tests the waters. 

Her words not always gentle. 

This world confusing and frustrating. 

Her desire to be more independent, yet still a child. 

Wanting to grow up too fast. 

And aren't we, the kingdom people, so much like that? 

We wish to move forward, find the answers, often before the time?

We can't be patient with what is here, before us. 

Always wanting more. 

We push instead of waiting.

We step ahead of God. 

We fill space with noise, instead of quiet seeking.

We think we know what's best.  

And I watch this pre-teen. 

My daughter. 

I sense her uneasiness and restlessness. 

 I want to teach her well. 

I want to shield her from more of the worlds heartache and pain.
I don't want her to have lost her brother and watch as her 

father struggled through the days of chemo and radiation. 

But she did. 

I can't shield her. 

Life will continue to come at her. 

These losses will not be her last. 

We can never know what will be in our path. 

But I can equip her for the struggle. 

I can teach her to bend low.

To set her heart in the path of the One who created her. 

I can teach her of the One who breathes life into our weary souls;

who calls forth the wind and the sea. 

The deep joy that transcends earthly indulgences.  

That she is loved, not because of what she does, but because of who she is. 

I can teach her the Ancient Word and the promises set forth before the creation of time. 

Hope. 

Grace for all. . .including herself. 

To make a difference in a world that shuns so much of what we believe. 

These are the things I can do. 

Much she has already learned. 

Yet, there is still much to learn in her journey. 

Until God parts our ways I will stay with bended knee sharing all that I can. 

Daily, I will surrender this child to the King of all, as He wills according to His purpose. 

I will step into joy no matter how long the time with my girl will be. 

Watching as this Christmas Eve gift becomes a woman with the heart of God. 

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go, 

Even when he is old he will not depart from it.