When Your Heart Is Breaking, Can You Still Sing, "Gloria In Excelsis Deo"?

4 years. 4 roses. 

2 of those anniversaries were celebrated with romance and promises; 
dreams and a future.

2 of them have been celebrated with her bringing the roses;

to the cold hard earth. 

No reciprocation. 

No warmth. 

Silence. 

Heart breaking, heart wrenching quiet. 

The dreams and hopes never to be. 

A life, a love; silenced.

And we are learning how to live without. 

We're learning how to step a foot in front of the other without a part of who we are. 

Our family looks different. 

The family photos. 

The dinner table. 

Everything. 

Everything has changed. 

But I want it to change for the better. 

The surrender needs to be holy. 

The walk, intentional. 

The cry of my heart; the cross. 

We seek the purpose of the One who called us here. 

He is refining, shaping, molding. 

Psalm 66:10
For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver.

Even when the heart is shattered. 

Even when the days seem unbearable. 

His purposes remain. 

I Peter 1:6-9
 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honorwhen Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Advent pushes our hearts to wait. 
We are asked to do the hard thing. 
Waiting is not easy. 
We rush to this and that. 
We plan. 
Yet, in the waiting something beautiful occurs. 
Our spirits are transformed and the holy reaches down. 
The transformation happens as He wills and moves.
I pray that as you move through this last week in Advent that your waiting is holy. 
That the deep peace of Christ will transform your being. 
In the darkness of this morning, I am again laying down all I am and surrendering all.
My burdens are at the foot of the cross. 
My heart is held. 
And I will continue to wait in this holiest of all seasons. 


The Piano Guys
Angels We Have Heard On High

For the record, the piano guy looks like Elijah. 
And the first time I saw this video; My heart skipped a beat.
Elijah could play the piano like no ones business. 
He was so very talented in so many areas. 
I miss him with every fiber of my being. 
I long to have him back. 
I long to hear the drums and hear Charlie Brown's Christmas as he plays the piano. 
But he is safe in the Father's arms. 
He will never know the heartache and pain we are experiencing. 
Or any other pain. 
He will only know joy. 
He will only know holiness. 
Isn't that what we long for, for our children?
And for that I will sing boldly and mightily. 

Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o’er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.
Gloria in excelsis Deo