I reach into the pile.
I pull out his shooting shirt.
It is nice and white.
He's playing so well this year.
A place for him to burn off steam.
It's been such a hard year.
The number catches me off guard.
Wait. . . he's #10.
I am reminded one brother wears the shirt of the other.
A number now retired in memory of one so young.
A jersey signed by all his team mates.
My heart aches.
This journey day to day can get heavy.
Thoughts and memories swirl.
The loss of a child never leaves you.
Your heart is never the same.
Life is forever altered.
I close my eyes and I can see his face.
I hear his laughter echo in my mind.
While I try to move forward each day the reminders are always there.
I hold the shirt to my face.
My #10 wears his brother's shirt.
He proudly where's the #6 under his #10.
For a moment I hold in my hand my boys together.
How I miss that.
We are approaching another graduation.
I struggle to stay in the present.
To live in this moment.
My mind wanders to another graduation.
The final days of my boys life and I didn't know it.
Yet, the sweet and tender mercies given to us in that time.
How everything shines in technicolor from those days.
Such vivid memories.
All the excitement.
A new journey.
We all struggle with trying to remain in the moment.
To be present and grateful for here and now.
Each of us carry the weight of our trials.
I fold the shirt.
I place it in the pile.
He will wear this shirt today at his game.
He will put it on.
No one will know that under his #10 he wears a #6.
Each day we clothe our selves with virtue.
Whether you ascribe to a moral code or not.
Choices are made.
I choose this day to serve the Lord.
This day I choose to lay my heart before the LORD.
He will take the broken pieces and hold them together.
I will plant my feet on solid ground.
It is by his grace I will walk through another graduation.
My eyes will search for truth.
I will remember His faithfulness and His promises.
By his grace I will remain present in all that is taking place.
What will your armor be today?
Put on the full armor of God,
so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.