The Rest of the Story Day #13 of Thankfulness

We had errands to run. 

Bread from the bread store and Ink for the printer. 

Our reward. 

Coffee.

(they even spelled Christiana's name correctly!)

A splurge. 

An indulgence. 

Creating a memory with the dancer girl. 

His card. 

Now. . . with a balance of zero. 

The gift, I think, from Project Graduation. 

Found in his wallet-

after they returned his belongings to me. 

The wallet he had on him when he passed from this life to Glory. 

Now kept on my farmers bureau. 

The Starbucks card nestled in between his license and other cards. 

And now the last of it is gone. 

The fear all mama's have about their babies. 

Will they be forgotten?

While we remember every moment. 

What little thing can I hang on to?

His clothes? 

His wallet? 
His Starbucks card? 

Grasps in the air to hold on. 

Calling his name out loud just to hear the sound. 

Echoes of silence in return. 

So, buying coffee with my dancer girl brought the last of the card to zero.

But. . .

There is. . . the rest of the story. 

When I woke from my slumber. 

On this dark and rainy morning. 

Crying out to God to make this day His. 

To take away the gloom and dreary. 

To fill me with joy and peace. 

I poured my hot coffee. 

I opened my e-mail. 

And there. 

There it was. 

A gift. 

From a friend. 

My gift card restocked. 

I breathe deep. 
How thoughtful. 

That guttural sob wanting to surface. 

How God uses us to minister to each others hearts. 

This gift of the card I will hold close. 

I am beyond grateful. 

I am humbled. 

~ 30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

Unexpected grace from a friend

Reminders that God is in even the littlest things in our lives

Rainy morning lessons

choosing joy

coffee runs with my daughter

laughter around the farm house table with unexpected company

7 days until the college girl is home for a week

heating pads and advil for a stiff neck

the ways in which we are cared for by those around us

neighbors who work with youth 

the way God has met our need for hired help- it's not the way we thought- but it is such an encouragement and joy

the financial struggle- it keeps us focused and reliant on God for every step 

God, who knows our every need 

the opportunity to trust

a drafty old farmhouse that is full of imperfect people

the mountain- even though I can not see it today, I know it is still there

There is unexpected joy in so many places. 

Having eyes to see through the pain and the chaos of our current circumstances opens a world longing to be explored.

I am grateful to God for never letting me go. 

For holding on when my faith wavers. 

When I think I can not go on any longer. 

Thank you to friends who reach out in ways that strengthen my being. 

Isaiah 43:19

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

I Would Like a Do Over Day #6 of Thankfulness

We stand in line. 

I fuss, I fume. 

The event already started. 

And we're outside. 

I complain. 

I feel anxious. 

I question why I've come. 

I wonder why they don't have a better system. 

Many thoughts run through my head. 

It is not until I am home. 

Until it is late at night that I process this. 

I missed out on so many blessings because I stepped into anxiety. 

Instead of using the beautiful gift of gratitude

 I jumped off the cliff into dangerous water. 

I let frustration and other emotions crowd out the blessings of the evening. 

This life is a journey. 

We will make mistakes and shake our head at our foolishness. 

This morning I am shaking off what was. 

And stepping into what hasn't been. 

(really I am shaking off a late night and drinking lots of coffee)

I want this walk of gratitude to change me. 

~30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am Thankful For:

An anxiety filled night so lessons may be learned

My farmer and family taking the night off to see a concert

Learning that my farmer's last concert with Elijah was seeing Cast Crowns

the 10 year old farm girl singing the words to every song - 

even as she is falling asleep in my arms

spending time with my SIL- both deeply grieving the loss of our sons

quiet mornings to process the journey

Reminders that even though I mess up- I am forgiven

that as far as the East is from the West -

so far has he removed my transgressions

a new day dawning

10,000 reasons to sing

A niece that lifts her hands to worship - I am learning much from her

unending grace

coffee therapy

I would love a do-over of last night. 

Actually, there are many nights I'd like a do over. 

One in particular. 

While that's not possible. 

Changing my heart is. 

It's not easy. 

Be thankful in all circumstances takes work. 

So today I will attempt to fill those anxious moments with thanks. 

How is your Gratitude walk going?