Calves! They're Everywhere!

Sunshine spilled over the mountain this morning. 

Cool mornings force us to use heat. 

Hot coffee awaits me as I stumble to the kitchen. 

I run the schedule through my head. 

I beat eggs and try not to burn toast. 
I burn eggs and the toast is safe. 

I continue the run through of the schedule. 

There's school work and book work. 

Calves need to be feed. 

Oh those calves! 

They're everywhere!

Calves always mean Spring here on the farm. 

The Winter is shedding it's skin. 

Milk production will return to a more comfortable place. 

The "hold your breath" feelings dissipate a bit. 

Cash flow begins to improve. 

This year, however, we are in the final stages of transitioning to Organic. 

This will complete a challenging year long process. 
Life is like that. 
Challenging. 
Needing to go the distance. 
We can't be sure what will happen. 
We can trust. 
Each calf that is born is a gift. 
New life. 
Some days the mama's do what they were created to do. 
There are no problems. 
Other days there is trauma and trouble. 
The outcome not so pleasant. 
Through each of those births my farmer waits patiently. 
He watches. 
He lets the mama's do their thing. 

Yet he is never far. 

It is the picture of our Holy God. 
He is never far. 
He waits.
Patiently. 

Genesis 28:15
I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until 
I have done what I have promised you."

A little Late But So Grateful Day # 20 of Thankfulness

I'm weary. 

500 plus miles in a little over 24 hours.

A baptism. 

Family time. 

Photo shoots. 

All time, marching on. 

I'm powerless to stop it. 

Living needs to continue. 

Change. 

Hard. 

Inevitable.

Hebrews 6:19

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. 

It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,

My hope is secure

I still don't like this change. 

But I need to press on. 

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

Moments with my dad 

new life

the waters of baptism 

cousins

giggles and laughter

a shared meal

Christmas decorations

the farmette and her mommy and daddy who drive 2 hours to be with us

a farmer who stays up until midnight watching Hallmark

 movies with my brother

a niece who gave so we could get away

We get to do this life once. 

I pray that my eyes are wide open to see all that God will do. 

I don't want to be so distracted that I miss what is right in front of me. 

Blessings in Best Buy Day # 25 of Thankfulness

Each person has a story to tell. 
The fabric of their life woven together. 
Some of the stories we know. 
Others lie buried deep within. 
Sometimes our lives intersect. 
A chance meeting. 
Social Media. 
Strangers become friends. 
Blessings given. 
Aching hearts touched. 
An artist. 
Reached out. 
She touched two mama's hearts. 
Cousins; gone way too soon. 
She gave.
Part of her story. 
Helping to bring warmth to our story. 

In Best Buy we meet.
While I wait for phone's to be switched over. 
While my heart breaks because my texts from Elijah are gone.
I receive a gift. 

A Portrait. 
A work of two years. 
A heart that gives. 
And now when death knocked on my farmer's sisters door. 
This artist painted all her love into a gift. 

I do not know what God has in store for my life. 

I do know that I am humbled and in awe of his amazing grace. 

I sometimes feel the burden of all He has asked me to carry is

 too much, too soon. 

Too much grief all at once. 

Yet who am i? 

Psalm 8:4

what is mankind that you are mindful of them,

 human beings that you care for them?

I will focus on walking a path of gratitude. 

A path since the police drove away from our home with the news that my first born son had journeyed to the arms of Jesus. 

My steps began with thank you for this home, and kept on as I praised God for the water for the shower and the towels. 

I put one foot in front of the other with my heart held by the 

One who created me. 

And so on this Thanksgiving Eve, I will continue to give Praise to God and thanks for his indescribable goodness.  

30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

new friends

the grace shown through another's amazing talent

meetings in Best Buy

a sister in law that teaches me so much

an afternoon spent with my kids

a treat with the kids on a refilled Starbucks card

baking and cooking for Thanksgiving

Rachel and Ella helping my farmer

Rachel and Ana helping me clean this big old dusty, dirty farmhouse

Loki getting stronger each day

the opportunity to serve in Haiti

supplies already coming in

the warm weather

our farm boy and all his antics, smiles and help

I am not going to lie. 

Thinking about spending another Thanksgiving without 

my boy is heart wrenching.

Knowing that my sister in law will spend her first 

without her boy deepens the grief. 

But knowing how much we are loved by our friends, this community and our Father in heaven spurs us on. 

I have said many times in this blog. 

Our job is not done yet. 

There is more for us to do. 

I eagerly await the work that needs to be done. 

Through it all I am changing. 

I pray with all my heart that I am becoming more like Christ.

We all have work to do. 

You can make a difference. 

Starting right now. 

Have you invited someone to Thanksgiving dinner? 

If dinner is too much. . . ask them over for dessert. 

Reach out beyond your comfort zone. 

Share the preparation for the meal. 

Work in community.

Do not wait for someone to reach out to you. 

Be the first to reach out. 

Blessings on this Thanksgiving Eve. 

Hebrews 13:12

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

I Would Like a Do Over Day #6 of Thankfulness

We stand in line. 

I fuss, I fume. 

The event already started. 

And we're outside. 

I complain. 

I feel anxious. 

I question why I've come. 

I wonder why they don't have a better system. 

Many thoughts run through my head. 

It is not until I am home. 

Until it is late at night that I process this. 

I missed out on so many blessings because I stepped into anxiety. 

Instead of using the beautiful gift of gratitude

 I jumped off the cliff into dangerous water. 

I let frustration and other emotions crowd out the blessings of the evening. 

This life is a journey. 

We will make mistakes and shake our head at our foolishness. 

This morning I am shaking off what was. 

And stepping into what hasn't been. 

(really I am shaking off a late night and drinking lots of coffee)

I want this walk of gratitude to change me. 

~30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am Thankful For:

An anxiety filled night so lessons may be learned

My farmer and family taking the night off to see a concert

Learning that my farmer's last concert with Elijah was seeing Cast Crowns

the 10 year old farm girl singing the words to every song - 

even as she is falling asleep in my arms

spending time with my SIL- both deeply grieving the loss of our sons

quiet mornings to process the journey

Reminders that even though I mess up- I am forgiven

that as far as the East is from the West -

so far has he removed my transgressions

a new day dawning

10,000 reasons to sing

A niece that lifts her hands to worship - I am learning much from her

unending grace

coffee therapy

I would love a do-over of last night. 

Actually, there are many nights I'd like a do over. 

One in particular. 

While that's not possible. 

Changing my heart is. 

It's not easy. 

Be thankful in all circumstances takes work. 

So today I will attempt to fill those anxious moments with thanks. 

How is your Gratitude walk going? 

Distracted To What

I think about my earlier post.

I am distracted so easily. 

I really am.
The Lyrics, "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?" run through my head.
For me. . . it is "DISTRACTED TO WHAT?"

In some ways this is good.

The farming life is unpredictable and spontaneous.
I need to be flexible. . . able to change easily. 

Much of that I do not mind.

But what am I distracted from and what am I distracted to?
.
Our lives should be interruptible,
 so that God is able to direct our path; yet focused enough to bear fruit.

Live with intent.
With the plan that yields to the Father's will.
We piddle away time with the most trivial tasks.
We focus on vacations and time off, more than serving or giving.
I hear myself saying,
"I can't wait for the weekend."
(Which on the farm is the same as the week. But growing up with that view permeates all)
We have made steps on the farm to provide us with time off.
Yet each time we "have off" it's really not that great.
We don't know what to do with unstructured time.
We end up sleeping.
Or watching obscene amounts of television.
Sitting.
Unproductive.
If our work is our worship.
And our work is in response to our gifts, then is it work at all?
Won't our free time look like our work?
Instead of watching TV we would be calling a friend we haven't seen.
Time spent in prayer for the kids and this world.
Writing encouraging notes to someone.
Our life becomes a prayer.
The phrase, I don't have enough time, is forever banished.
Because our time is directed by the father.
So when the vacation comes it is in response to rest.
A time away.

Luke 5:16
But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

Even Jesus withdrew from the chaos.
From the need and urgent.
But He was interruptible. 
Not distracted. 
We can not neglect the need our souls have for quiet.
The need we have to commune with the Father on a regular basis.
We also can not ignore the fact that at times we need to withdraw.

 For the sake of regenerating.

A time of refreshing.
Where He pours in His Spirit.
To equip and encourage us.
We just need to be available. 
Not distracted.