Reconstructing

Reconstructing. 
Each day. 
How to do dinner. 
What the table looks like. 
His car in the driveway. 
All how to live without my son. 
Each day.
Learning. 
The path. 
God has ordained. 
Not my will. 
But His. 
And so I learn. 
While my heart misses. 
I open my heart to the will of the Father. 

A young teen plays Elijah's drum set at church.
A young man unaware of the story.

Playing to Worship. 
The same God. 

All for His Glory. 

So I learn, to trust more. 
Rest where there is chaos. 
Quiet when the screams seek to find a voice. 
Peace given. 

A purpose beyond what I can see. 

Calves! They're Everywhere!

Sunshine spilled over the mountain this morning. 

Cool mornings force us to use heat. 

Hot coffee awaits me as I stumble to the kitchen. 

I run the schedule through my head. 

I beat eggs and try not to burn toast. 
I burn eggs and the toast is safe. 

I continue the run through of the schedule. 

There's school work and book work. 

Calves need to be feed. 

Oh those calves! 

They're everywhere!

Calves always mean Spring here on the farm. 

The Winter is shedding it's skin. 

Milk production will return to a more comfortable place. 

The "hold your breath" feelings dissipate a bit. 

Cash flow begins to improve. 

This year, however, we are in the final stages of transitioning to Organic. 

This will complete a challenging year long process. 
Life is like that. 
Challenging. 
Needing to go the distance. 
We can't be sure what will happen. 
We can trust. 
Each calf that is born is a gift. 
New life. 
Some days the mama's do what they were created to do. 
There are no problems. 
Other days there is trauma and trouble. 
The outcome not so pleasant. 
Through each of those births my farmer waits patiently. 
He watches. 
He lets the mama's do their thing. 

Yet he is never far. 

It is the picture of our Holy God. 
He is never far. 
He waits.
Patiently. 

Genesis 28:15
I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until 
I have done what I have promised you."

Davis Farm Guest House

We're having fun at our Guest House and on the farm!

We're meeting new people.

Making friends from all over the world. 

We're sprucing up. 

Watching grass grow!

Literally. 

We're shaking off the Winter. 

Though, it's not shaking us off!

Sharing about this place we love so much. 

Things aren't always easy. 
We share that too. 

Work. 

Long hours. 

Yet. 

Rewarding. 

Full. 
Held by a gracious God. 

Stepping forward with purpose. 

Hope you'll stop by for a visit soon. 

Find us on our blog page: 

http://farmingoncilleyhill.blogspot.com/p/davis-farm-guest-house.html

Or our listing on Farm Stay U.S.:

www.farmstayus.com/farm/Vermont/Davis_Farm_

Sunshine Spilled Over

Sunshine spilled over on Resurrection Sunday. 

Warmth. 

Family. 

Food.

The empty tomb. 

The Cross set before us. 

A symbol. 

Hope. 

What was meant for evil. 

God meant for good. 

Sometimes you can't help but embrace the bad to understand the good. 

2 years and 8 months. 

 A journey to walk with purpose.

Seeking to discover, under the shadow of His wing. 

Ever longing for all to be made right. 

The tomb is empty. 

The Savior Risen. 

The hope of all Nations for a broken people. 

The sun beats down on us at my sister in laws. 

Her family walking the grief road. 

The first Easter without my nephew. 

The children without their father. 

Reaching out in hope. 

Stepping into the unknown. 

We sit together. 

Grateful. 

For each other. 

Laughing. 

Remembering. 

Life springing forth in the gardens that were my mother in laws. 

Precious bulbs pressing through the depth of the dark. 

Reaching for light. 

Reminders of the beauty in the struggle. 

When we are anchored to the Rock. 

Psalm 18:2

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

It's been a great weekend of celebration on the farm. 

My farmers 60th. 

A gathering of family and friends. 

A shower of cards. 

Easter Sunday. 

Celebrated around the rich gathering of generations.

The birds have begun their joyous chorus this morning. 

Signs of Spring; seen if you look. 

Do you have eyes to see? 

I am asking God to keep my eyes wide open to 

not miss the beauty He has in store. 

 Resting in the hope given to us. 

I miss my son with all my being. 

The ache so deep.

Yet I believe God is working a purpose greater than I understand. 

I pray that you have eyes to see the glory that God is unfolding. 

I pray that you walk with hope; even when the way is rough. 

Walking today in deep hope, while clinging to the Rock. 

What about you? 

Being Thankful is a Choice Day #2 of Thankfulness

Worship. 

An act. 

A response. 

Each Sunday for almost 48 years. 

Part of my life. 

My being. 

Deep within. 

We sing;

I surrender All. 

I think about those words. 

I have surrendered my son. 

Not willingly. 

I surrendered my husband. 

Not willingly. . . and he was given back. 

I surrender all. 

There is a lot to that act. 

It is a choice. 

One I want to embrace. 

As one begins to surrender all the hurt. . . all the ache. 

Something happens 

The Act of Praise begins to emerge. 

A beautiful work takes place.

~30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

Quiet afternoons where the tears can flow

Cups of tea (yes I said it. Occasionally; tea trumps coffee)

Christmas movies

Reminders of how blessed we are

heat

running water

My farmer

face time

The farmette and her mama and daddy and the new one about to be

Worship

A 10 year old who still likes to snuggle and be read to

My organizing fairy who is helping reclaim floor space

The grace by which this wretched soul was saved

The hope of eternal life

the struggles through which we grow

“I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.” 

~Elisabeth Elliot

Won't you join us in this journey? 

Leave a comment.

Post your thoughts. 

Worry, Epiphanies and the Every Day

I'm not sleeping well. 

It's been 27 months without my son. 

I go to bed exhausted. 

I wake up exhausted. 

I know I've been awake in the night. 

I have that heavy feeling. 

What is keeping me up? 

Luke 10:41

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, 

"you are worried and upset about many things,

but few things are needed-- or indeed only one. 

Mary has chosen what is better, 

and it will not be taken away from her."

This verse has troubled me for many years. 

I've attended retreats based on the verse. 

Read an insightful book on the subject. 

Still. 

I am troubled. 

These days have been busy with preparing our Guest House. 

For putting feet on dreams. 

Planning out details. 

What are the goals of the this business?

How will things get accomplished?

Lists.  

Painting. 

Decorating. 

Praying. 

More painting. 

Mixed into all of this is farm work, book work, 

cooking, grieving, taking care of kids and preparing for winter;

 just to name a few. 

While I am at the stove I pondering these things. 

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things,but few things are needed--or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Martha was at the stove cooking, planning preparing. 

She had company in her home. 

Her gift hospitality. 

These folks were probably hungry. 

They had been on a long journey. 

And now. 

They were in her home. 

It was her job to care for them.

While I was cooking the notion struck me. 

All these years it's been Martha "the doer".

And Mary, "the sit at Jesus feet-er." 

While I was cooking I noticed my attitude. 

I was stewing. 

About this and that. 

I was hotter than the kettle I was working with. 

I was doing what was needed. 

But. . . I was stewing. 

And I thought. 

THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!

While other's gone before me have probably made this connection. 

I have not. 

It's not what Martha was doing that was the problem. 

It was what she was thinking. 

It's not that she needed to neglect the house to commune with our LORD. 

No. 

It was her attitude. 

The cooking was fine. 

The preparation was needed. 

But it was her heart. 

She was stewing. 

She was at that kitchen banging around. 

Ticked at her sister. 

Mary. . . was right at Jesus' feet. 

Her sweet spirit in tune with the Savior. 

Waiting to hear and absorb all there was. 

Time was short. 

Seek contentment in all you do. 

When cooking or, ack, cleaning. 

Where is your heart? 

Do you do the task joyfully as unto the LORD?

Or are you spewing and ranting, slamming pots and stomping around? 

There was nothing wrong with Martha and what she was doing. 

It was the way she was doing it. 

So, while I was at the stove having this epiphany 

(and burning what ever I was doing). 

I changed my attitude. 

Instead of stewing about what everyone else was 

doing. . .or not doing in this case, I looked to the Lord. 

I closed my eyes, (might be part of the burning) and gave thanks for the opportunity to cook. 

Yes. 

I even thanked God for the opportunity to clean. 

I slowed myself down. 

Sometimes we get off track. 

Jesus wasn't elevating Mary sitting as his feet while Martha was working. 

He wasn't encouraging Martha to come and literally sit at his feet. 

We're busy people. 

There is work to be done. 

He wants us in the midst of the work. 

The work is holy. 

He wants the merging of the two. 

He will help us. 

He's in the business of helping us; changing us. 

He is fighting for us! 

Exodus 14:14

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

We are called to be light. 

Matthew 5:15

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

Lauren Daigle

Salt and Light 

Summer, Please Don't End

Milking is finished. 
The cows are heading to pasture. 

It is unseasonably warm. 
(with NO humidity!)

A glorious sunrise. 

Hot coffee. 
The Ancient word. 

Taking time to -
Stop
And thank God for:

This sunrise
the beautiful weather
(and NO hudimity!)
lots of coffee
A slower day
grace for the journey
friendship
new adventures
music
learning in the struggle
fall

baking
did I mention coffee? 
farm table visits

new employees
warm breeze
Sheets on the line

and coffee


May your day be filled with immeasurable grace. 
Attempt to not complain about one thing. 
At all. 
Look for the thankful moments. 
Be the hands and feet of Jesus to just one person. 

Let me know how this works for you. 

Blessings on this day. 

Psalm 19:1
The heavens declare the glory of God;
 the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

30 Days of Thankfulness, It's A Start. Will You Join Me?

Thankfulness is a practice. 

Cultivated like many other habits. 

Yet one that is often neglected.
A gift given.
To shift our me centered focus off ourselves and onto the one so deserving of our Praise. 

So, this year I begin 30 Day's of Thankfulness.
Each day searching purposefully for that which I might other wise miss. 

Join with me on this journey.  

Leave a comment and share your Thankful journey. 

Psalm 92

It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises unto thy name, O Most High:To shew forth thy loving kindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night

~30 Days of Thankfulness~

I am thankful for:

Front door visits of memories from years past and her young son

Pies delivered from that same young lady

Remembering

Friends who won't let me go, who spur me on with their love and prayers

A community that holds us tight even after a year

A Memorial Fund that continues to grow, thanks to the generosity of many

Small steps and great grace

21 years of marriage and the lessons of holiness learned

children who seek the Lord and his will

a step daughter and son in law that include me in the details, even when they don't have to

the sweetest grand daughter and the way her smile washes gratefulness all over me

friends who have walked this journey ahead of us and remind us we are "doing ok"

A friendship formed through mutual loss though we have never met

Brilliant colors splashed across a holy palette

Snow capped mountains

The wonder of this season

hope amid pain and grief

Joy in a Savior that has not left my side

lessons learned in the darkest time of my life

Searching for the holiness found when stepping forward with a grateful heart

Philippians 4:4-6

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I pray that you can enter this journey with me. 

Seeking holiness when all you feel is heartache. 

Letting the mundane rise to importance through a new lens. 

Lord, I need you.

Every hour I need you. 

(Lord, I Need You Chris Tomlin)

It Is In The Gentle Whisper. That He Speaks

He's cleaning out. . . his room. 

My farmer. 

Spending time in his son's room. 

Picking through the pieces of a life. 

A life interrupted. 

Abruptly. 

I am left numb. 

Head gear for Wrestling. 

His uniform. 

Still here. 

A procrastinator; like me. 

Things we need to return. 

Dry Erase markers for his white board. 

His attempt to get organized. 

His belt.

I finger the holes.

One by one. 

I don't want this to be my walk.

The burning creeps toward  my heart. 

It feels like it is too much to ask. 

Too much to live this life without my son. 

Too great a request. 

The tears spill; trickle down my cheek. 

I can't stop them. 

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; 

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

 When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

I miss him. 

And no matter how hard I try. 

No matter how great our God is; the fact remains. 

It hurts. 

There is no way around the pain and the suffering. 

The walk is through the ache. 

It is in the midst of the grief that we can cry Holy, Holy. 

Holy is the Lord God Almighty. 

It is in the deep, raw places that we find rest. 

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, 

and I will give you rest

He is worthy of our praise. 

He is where I put my trust. 

He, will give us the rest.

I search through the pile my farmer has brought down.

I finger each item. 

A memory. 

That's all. 

I dread looking into his room. 

I breath deep. 

I know there is purpose. 

I cling to what I know. 

Because all else fails. 

There is nothing solid in this world but the One who spoke in a gentle whisper. 

I Kings 19:11

So He said, "Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD." 

And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. 

And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 

After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; 

and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it,

 he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. 

I ascend the stairs. 

I survey the room. 

It looks so good. 

Everything in it's place. 

It's a step. 

My farmer needed to spend time alone. 

Grieving is hard work. 

It is an intentional turn each day toward that which is Holy. 

To stand on ground that is firm. 

To hope in the future. 

A future held in the palm of the One who breathed life into this world. 

I can feel the gentle whisper. 

I push away all other thoughts. 

I want to listen for that whisper. 

I want to push away all other sounds and distractions. 

Push away all the lies and false messages coming through from this world. 

The gentle whisper speaks of hope and strength. 

Found only in Him.

I thank God for Elijah's life. 

The Elijah of the bible. 

The strength to step onward. 

I am thankful for the years of Wrestling and Lacrosse. 

I am grateful for hours of piano playing and drums. 

Though these remain silent; My heart sings the melodies. 

It's the part no one can take. 

There will be no more memories. 

But the gentle whisper will fill us with the strength to accomplish His will. 

Because it's all about Him. 

The cross is offensive to many, 

while bringing strength to those who believe. 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose.