Friday, November 13, 2015

The Rest of the Story Day #13 of Thankfulness

We had errands to run. 
Bread from the bread store and Ink for the printer. 
Our reward. 

(they even spelled Christiana's name correctly!)
A splurge. 
An indulgence. 
Creating a memory with the dancer girl. 

His card. 
Now. . . with a balance of zero. 
The gift, I think, from Project Graduation. 
Found in his wallet-
after they returned his belongings to me. 
The wallet he had on him when he passed from this life to Glory. 
Now kept on my farmers bureau. 
The Starbucks card nestled in between his license and other cards. 
And now the last of it is gone. 
The fear all mama's have about their babies. 
Will they be forgotten?

While we remember every moment. 
What little thing can I hang on to?
His clothes? 
His wallet? 
His Starbucks card? 
Grasps in the air to hold on. 

Calling his name out loud just to hear the sound. 
Echoes of silence in return. 

So, buying coffee with my dancer girl brought the last of the card to zero.

But. . .
There is. . . the rest of the story. 
When I woke from my slumber. 
On this dark and rainy morning. 
Crying out to God to make this day His. 
To take away the gloom and dreary. 
To fill me with joy and peace. 
I poured my hot coffee. 
I opened my e-mail. 
And there. 
There it was. 
A gift. 
From a friend. 
My gift card restocked. 
I breathe deep. 
How thoughtful. 
That guttural sob wanting to surface. 
How God uses us to minister to each others hearts. 
This gift of the card I will hold close. 

I am beyond grateful. 
I am humbled. 

I am thankful for:
Unexpected grace from a friend
Reminders that God is in even the littlest things in our lives
Rainy morning lessons
choosing joy
coffee runs with my daughter
laughter around the farm house table with unexpected company
7 days until the college girl is home for a week
heating pads and advil for a stiff neck
the ways in which we are cared for by those around us
neighbors who work with youth 
the way God has met our need for hired help- it's not the way we thought- but it is such an encouragement and joy
the financial struggle- it keeps us focused and reliant on God for every step 
God, who knows our every need 
the opportunity to trust
a drafty old farmhouse that is full of imperfect people
the mountain- even though I can not see it today, I know it is still there

There is unexpected joy in so many places. 
Having eyes to see through the pain and the chaos of our current circumstances opens a world longing to be explored.

I am grateful to God for never letting me go. 
For holding on when my faith wavers. 
When I think I can not go on any longer. 
Thank you to friends who reach out in ways that strengthen my being. 

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

1 comment:

  1. Very nice article Tammy.
    Thanks for sharing your experience with us.