Finding The Fullness Of Joy

She's 17 today; this sweet girl that has taught me so much about life. 

The girl who lost her dog and brother in a 2 week time span.
Her Nana 7 months before that.
Then the shocking walk of her father through cancer.

This girl who walks in strength and grace.

Whose smile and laughter light up a room.
Her spirit; gentle and soft.

A life surrendered to the King of all Kings.

Practical like her dad. 

Free spirited in so many ways.
She'll celebrate without her older brother to cheer her on.

Her confidant.
Her role model.
She'll cross another milestone.
I fear the joy of some of the birthday celebration has diminished.
Friends are too busy to celebrate.

Her expectations unmet.

So she went to NYC to visit a friend.

So independent and willing to try new adventures.
Really, she has had to grow up quickly.
This magnitude of a loss is costly.
Death so frequently at your door.
So I am praying for wisdom to dispel some of this darkness.
Wanting her to embrace this day.
A day to celebrate her birth.
The gift she is. Who she is in Christ. 

I want her to remember that there is nothing on this earth
that will bring the fullness of joy that Christ can.

John 16:22
So with you: Now is your time of grief, 
but I will see you again and you will rejoice, 
and no one will take away your joy.

Everything else is fleeting and temporary.

She's 17.
We'll step each moment into grace.
Seeking how to live before a Sovereign God.
We'll learn how to do these celebrations differently.
Our journey to find the joy.
Happy Birthday Clarissa.
Thank you for your strength throughout such a difficult year.
Thank you for persevering even when you felt like giving up.
The light of Christ shines brightly through you.
You are a blessing.
My cup runneth over.

The Heartbeat Of Women

It's right there on the return address label. 

I am surprised by the emotion it evokes.

I shouldn't be. 

I should be used to this by now

But I'm not. 

Rose Bud Lane it says. 

Someone lives at Rose Bud Lane. 

It stirs in me that raw, yet warm memory feeling. 

Mom called Clarissa, "Rose Bud".

Dad called her Rag Weed. 

 Mom; gone now to live with Jesus. 

Dad; companion with the memory thief. 

 Rose Bud was the perfect name. 

She was rosy and sweet when she was born.
I dressed her in everything pink.

I treasured all the sweetness wrapped in that bundle.

And now she has the most contagious and infectious laugh. 

She has joy and confidence.

Her eyes sparkle when she laughs and the days of Rose Bud seem so long ago.

She spends the day fasting and raising support for World Vision. 

She brings God's love to a local kid's group. 

I spend the day with women. 

 We hear the journey of one woman. 

It is good to hear the faith journey's of each other. 

It is good to share them. 

We are strengthened by the stories. 

In some way we can connect. 

Something said, stirs in us. 

It is the way of our ancestors.

Quilting and canning gatherings.

Times to share, talk and work. 

Times of encouragement when winters were long. 

Times of Fellowship when the sun warmed the earth. 

So much we have pushed aside. 

No time for gatherings and sharing. 

We are too busy with the bustle of the urgency. 

We race from one activity to the other all in the name of "what's best" for our kids. 

But I wonder. 

Have we got it all wrong? 

In the desire to move away; to be independent of our families have we destroyed what God intended? 

We have lost community;

the gatherings and sharing of work. 

Reminders of; you are not alone, echo through my mind. 

They are the heartbeat of this country. 

They are the heartbeat of this farm. 

Barn raising's and spontaneous gatherings are terms that resonate within us; 

a picture of groups working together to create community.

Maybe it's time to clear the calendar.

Forget about how clean the house is or what someone might think. 

Forgo the movie and forge a new relationship. 

Invite someone over. 
The Rose Bud label was from a woman.
Sharing a book.
Reaching out.
Walking the journey with me. 

It's time to be real.

Time to listen to the stories that long to be told.

Offer to help a friend with a project. 

Be intentional about gathering. 

Be intentional about listening.

We each have needs and we don't have to do it alone. 

We can be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

Showing love to all as we walk this journey. 

Clarissa comes home. 

She is reflective. 

She has been with others. 

She has fasted in the name of World Hunger, 

she has shared God's love. 

It changes you. 

Colossians 3:17

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, 

do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Are You Able To Run The Race With Perseverance?

Miss you so much. Don't know if I can handle next year without you. #brother

This was Clarissa's face book post on June 20, 2013.
It's the picture of them on the first day of school; his Senior year. 

Elijah had gone on a trip the day after graduation.
We all missed him.
Boot camp was coming and we knew we weren't prepared.
He rarely left home.
His presence always here.
He wasn't one for sleepovers; preferring his bed to others.
Little did we know.

Clarissa and Thomas have devotions for Youth Group.  The topic; Perseverance. 
With the Olympics permeating much of our awake time; perseverance has been on the mind.

Story after story has been shared of an Olympian's challenging journey to reach the ultimate goal of the prestigious Olympic team; and ultimately a Gold medal.  

         As I listen to their thoughts and working through bible verses I think of how Clarissa has needed to persevere. She lives with a severe case of asthma and allergies. She has missed more and more school each year because her medicine is not adequate enough to keep her symptoms at bay. At the beginning of July her puppy was hit by car and died in my arms before she got home. 

It was heart wrenching for her. She had researched puppies that were safe for her and her asthma and saved her money to buy this little puppy. She had cared for and nurtured him since he was born. And now; in a moment he was gone. 

       Just weeks later she would endure the challenge of her life as I slowly climbed the stairs to wake her to tell her her beloved, older brother was called home to be with the King of Kings. Her brother, who was her mentor, friend and confidant. In a single sentence, I was shattering this young, precious girl's world. 

      Then came the diagnosis of cancer for her father, and I tell you, she was not surprised. 

She said she knew.

 Back when the growth became apparent. 

She would think; he needs to have that taken off. It's not a cyst. It's a tumor. 

She was a rock and asked specific questions. She rallied to this next blow. 

   Her face book continues to demonstrate where her strength comes from. She minces no words in expressing her feelings. Though sometimes I wonder at the bravado; and does she need a break? A break from the pain and the uncertainty. The pressure of honors and AP classes. Working, instrument practice, the demands of younger siblings and grief as her constant companion. 

  Thomas has lost one of his best friends. 

His dreams and hopes built together on mutual love for this country and the freedom to serve. 

A faith shared. 

An eternal bond.

So who better to speak on perseverance than Clarissa and Thomas.

 I applaud them for using their experiences to drive an important discussion. 

We may not be Olympians. But we are in a race. 

Time is ticking and life's journey continues. 

What is it that you need to persevere through? 

Are you equipped? 

What is in your tool box?

Most Olympians persevere through a course well marked out.

 Rehearsed, studied and ingrained.

Our course is well marked out. We just can't see the course. But there is One who does. 

And my trust is there. 

Elijah has stepped into eternity and he is now a part of that great 

Cloud of Witnesses spurring us on until that Great Day. 

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,

 let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. 

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

May you know that you're not alone. 

He's waiting for you. Knocking at your door. 

Love will pull us together. 

I hope you can take a few moments to listen to this video of  "Hold us Together"

We miss our drummer.