Are You Thirsty?

The day is warm. 

Sunshine streaming through fluffy white clouds. 

We head to the river. 

My happy place. 

We're headed to celebrate;

New life. 

Hope. 

Promises and Covenants. 

That sweet next to the youngest farm girl is entering the waters of baptism. 

She's shaking off the old. 

Stepping into the new. 
The life that isn't promised to be easy. 

The life where knee is bowed and hands lifted high. 

A life built on truth, hope and certainty. 

The truth that she has already had to wrestle to the ground 
as she navigated the shocking death of her oldest brother. 

And then the turmoil of her father with cancer. 

Yet she stood strong. 

She placed her feet on that solid rock. 

She dug deep when the pain threatened to pull her under. 

She stood. 

She breathed. 

And God poured into her aching soul. 

He reached down and called her by name. 

And she answered. 

And today. 

She professes. 

She confesses her unworthiness. 

Her brokenness. 

She proclaims her unity with the Almighty. 

Who came as a babe. 

Suffered on the cross. 

That she might live. 

And she enters those waters. 

The same waters that her brothers and sister entered. 

That glorious water.

Life changing.

The water runs through. 

And she is forever changed. 

She's quenching her thirst. 

 I think of another family. 

Saying Good bye. 

Celebrating a life lived well. 

Taken too soon. 

At the hands of one who felt she was finished with this life here. 
Trying to take her own life. 
She took the  life of another. 

And the weight slams hard. 

We do not know what this life will bring. 

We are not promised an easy life. 

We in this country are so far removed from suffering. 

Our lives are scattered with pretty things. 

Our goals. . . to be successful. 

Our desires for personal gain. 
When all the while a gracious God waits. 
Waits patiently for our yeilding. 
For our shift to see Him. 
For His purposes. 
The water is cleansing. 
In a moment we are changed. 
New life has begun. 
Those who entered the waters are not destined for an easy life. 
Their alignment with Christ does not buy them any "passes" from the tough stuff. 
What it does is solidify the great promises that, He will never leave you nor forsake you. 

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Won't you hold tight to these truths? 
Let the living water change you. 

John 4:14
but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Dear Elijah

Dear Elijah,

Just writing your name warms my heart. 

It's been so long since I have heard your voice; 

cooked your favorite meals; watched you while you worked; 

or listened while you debated the issues of this world. 

The farm was visited once again by unmeasurable grace. 

A man who walks with bowed knee to the King of Kings,

bringing the fullness of Christ once again to this farm. 

The hands and feet of Jesus. 

The body of Christ. 

I watched in sheer wonder as they replaced the porch.
A boost.
An encouragement.
Grace. 

It is so beautiful. 

You would love it. 

There are no weak spots. 

It took no time at all to sweep. 

I sat with my cup of coffee and praised God this morning. 

As always, my thoughts turned to you, and how I miss you. 

How my soul longs for you. 

I ache to hug you and watch you become all that God would have.

I wanted you to meet all these wonderful people that came to the farm.
I wanted to introduce you when I introduced your brother and sisters. 

But you have arrived. 
You are experiencing all the Glory and wonder that God has in store for us. 

I just wanted to be there before you. 

These grace filled folks also completed the roof of the woodshed. 

 How proud you would be!

They added more rafters and they used NEW tin.
There is another who resides with you in our eternal home who had this vision as well.
His desire now fulfilled. 

Daddy and I stood underneath the shed with Mr Larson and I felt a little lighter. 

I felt the weight and burden of this place lift off a bit. 

I thought ahead to winter and how nice it will be for daddy to fill the boiler
 and not be digging through the snow. 

I hardly remember last winter. 

Your first winter not here. 
There was cancer and sickness and death lingering everywhere. 

Uncle Eric and others kept that boiler filled. 

I can't help but remember your eyebrows being singed and
the front of your red hair when you wore it longer. 

These are the things I think about as I swing on this new porch. 

The body of Christ is a beautiful thing.

1 Corinthians 12:26-27
If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, 
every part rejoices with it.Now you are the body of Christ, 
and each one of you is a part of it.

I am learning what it means to receive with gratitude. 

Handing guilt over to the Father. 

I rejoiced today as I sat on that swing. 

I gave thanks for the beautiful sunrise. 

I gave thanks for the amazing porch. 

I thanked God for you my dear son. And the 17 years you were here.
They were wonderful years.
I am blessed to have had them.

I am growing closer to God each day.
He is my light and my song.
One of your dear friends went through the waters of baptism today.

He stepped into the path of the richness of Christ.
You were not far from my thoughts.

You entering the waters of baptism.

The glorious public alliance with Christ.
Such a great day. 
I still have that piece of paper you hold in your hand.

I hold the paper.
You hold the hand of the one who paid the price for you.

I miss you. 



I sat at your grave today and cried the tears of a mommy's broken heart.

Tears I have wanted to shed all weekend. 
Tears of a grateful heart for a new deck I don't deserve.
Tears for the body of Christ and Community that continues to hold us.
Tears of a heart that misses my mom; all the things I long to tell her.
Tears of a heart that wonders how long her farmer has.
And tears for you my boy.
My precious son.

Each day I will continue to hand over the reigns of my life.
Letting God guide my path.
He writes my daily list. 
Longing to bring light to hurting souls.
All my love,
Mom

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, 
giving thanks to God the Father through him.

The Wonderful Cross

It's more than I deserve. 

2 different places. 

3 different testimonies.

All affected by 1 life. 

A life that wasn't perfect. 

But pointed to the One that is. 

I listen to Senior testimonies. 

New beginning's in the horizon.

A life hurt by the loss of his friend. 

July 28, 2013 etched in his young mind for ever. 

Questions raised throughout the year. 

Hearts hurting. 

But the power of the holy spirit was working in his heart. 

And God's love broke through the barriers and the hurt 

and reminded that pilgrim along this journey of His power and His might. 

And he shared that. 

He disregarded his carefully thought out testimony and shared from the deep place in his soul. 

And this mama was blessed. 

The second testimony reminded us of our need; our dependence on God for our future. 

He too walking with the deep loss of Elijah's friendship. 

How God uses those moments to allow me to see the impact my sons life is still having. 

The day became even sweeter as Clarissa and I went to witness 

her friend enter the waters of Baptism. 

A long awaited decision. 

New life. 

Matthew 28:19

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, 

baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

A decision we learned was influenced by a young man who fell asleep 

at the wheel and was suddenly called home.

 July 28, 2013 forever etched in her young mind. 

Elijah's death prompted the deep questions we all wrestle with; 

Where am I going?

Even in Elijah's death God began the redemptive work in others. 

This is a gift. 

This is unmerited Grace and Mercy. 

Neither of which I deserve. 

God chooses at will to bring about the purposes He deems. 

To see this glimpse is holy.

 I am grateful. 

To stand this side of eternity is the hardest walk I have ever had to do. 

I long with all my heart for my boy. 

My soul aches for him. 

 To see purpose and God's mighty hand at work is powerful. 

Knowing souls are being ushered into the kingdom is humbling.

There is much rejoicing in the heavens.

The day has left me exhausted, grateful, sad, encouraged. . .(Elijah hated my use of ellipses)

The cross will remain my guide. 

Surrender my work. 

I will wait upon the Lord. 

He will renew my weary soul. 

He will bring about His purposes.

In His Time.

Oh that wonderful cross. 

Oh that wonderful cross

bids me come and die 

and find that I may truly live

A Promise That Will Never Be Broken

She meets me at the door, as I enter church. I haven't seen her in so long. 
 She hugs me tight and we cry. 
She so young, with babies growing. Together we share the silent pain of miscarriages, me but one. . .she many. But this new pain; I carve a new path. What do you say? How can you express in words the fear every parent lives with; the one no one wants to endure. 

She hugs me tight as we cry. 

The service is beautiful. The first Sunday in Advent, the reminder of the Promise. A service of dedication; a young mom and dad dedicating their 2 boys before the LORD.
 It draws me up sharp.
 Dedication. 
The words haunt me. So long ago, we journeyed this same path. Full of expectation and wonder. Presenting our boy before God and the congregation. Pledging to raise him with God's help, so that one day he would surrender and enter the waters of Baptism.
 It is these times that the missing; the longing threaten to undue me. I wonder how I can go on. 
But he did enter the waters. 
And that promise of Eternal life was embedded deep within his soul. 
The hope and joy. 

And this year he gave a Senior Testimony that we will never forget.

He was looking forward.
Little did he know that 49 days later he would be traveling this magnificent world;
just as he desired.
 He had finished his race.

Our Pastor's son in law paints, as the service progresses.
 Bryn paints as the Holy Spirit guides.
It is the final 4. 
The 4 Sundays in Advent. 
Our Pastor's last 4 Sundays.
Bryn shares the words the kids have all chosen for their dad.
 2 words to describe the man who has 25 years of ministry in this church. 
Faithful Shepherd
A man who has Shepherded and baptized our children in the river of this land. 
A man who has unwaveringly served this church,
as a servant; a Faithful Shepherd. 

I come across this facebook post from last year.  

Wasn't much into celebrating last night. Went to bed early. Woke up to the 2 little girls sound asleep on the couch! I wonder if they made it to midnight! Happy New Year everyone! I am not a list or a resolution girl. . .but I do want to honor God this year. I don't want this life to be about me. I want to serve others. While taking care of my mom, I experienced such a wonderful gift. Caring for your mother is a heartbreaking joy. . . a deep down joy that no one can touch. So here is to a year NOT about doing what's right for me. . . or putting myself first. Here is to a year where I surrender and let God lead my steps. . . Because even in the hard times . . .with God is better than on my own. Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. . . .

Little did I know the journey God had in store;

how he would "lead my steps". 

"Because even in the hard times. . .with God, is better than on my own."

I think if I had to chose a word to describe this past year it would have to be surrender. I have had to learn to give everything over. To get up each morning, and give over everything I have and all that I am. Because I have no strength. The grief threatens to overwhelm and the unknown looms. 

Yet, as we surrender all we have; God reaches down and works his good and perfect will through us. 

This Advent, I pray that you wait with anticipation for what God will do. 

Surrender all to him. 

With hope live each day, knowing that His plan is secure. 

He will fulfill his Promises.

I love to watch Elijah drum. 

He felt the beat to the very core of his being. 

"This is the first day of the rest of your life"