Monday, July 14, 2014

Dear Elijah

Dear Elijah,
Just writing your name warms my heart. 
It's been so long since I have heard your voice; 
cooked your favorite meals; watched you while you worked; 
or listened while you debated the issues of this world. 
The farm was visited once again by unmeasurable grace. 
A man who walks with bowed knee to the King of Kings,
bringing the fullness of Christ once again to this farm. 
The hands and feet of Jesus. 
The body of Christ. 
I watched in sheer wonder as they replaced the porch.
A boost.
An encouragement.
It is so beautiful. 
You would love it. 

There are no weak spots. 
It took no time at all to sweep. 
I sat with my cup of coffee and praised God this morning. 
As always, my thoughts turned to you, and how I miss you
How my soul longs for you. 
I ache to hug you and watch you become all that God would have.

I wanted you to meet all these wonderful people that came to the farm.
I wanted to introduce you when I introduced your brother and sisters. 
But you have arrived. 
You are experiencing all the Glory and wonder that God has in store for us. 
I just wanted to be there before you. 

These grace filled folks also completed the roof of the woodshed. 
 How proud you would be!
They added more rafters and they used NEW tin.
There is another who resides with you in our eternal home who had this vision as well.
His desire now fulfilled. 
Daddy and I stood underneath the shed with Mr Larson and I felt a little lighter. 
I felt the weight and burden of this place lift off a bit. 
I thought ahead to winter and how nice it will be for daddy to fill the boiler
 and not be digging through the snow. 
I hardly remember last winter. 
Your first winter not here. 
There was cancer and sickness and death lingering everywhere. 
Uncle Eric and others kept that boiler filled. 
I can't help but remember your eyebrows being singed and
the front of your red hair when you wore it longer. 
These are the things I think about as I swing on this new porch. 
The body of Christ is a beautiful thing.

1 Corinthians 12:26-27
If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, 
every part rejoices with it.Now you are the body of Christ, 
and each one of you is a part of it.

I am learning what it means to receive with gratitude. 
Handing guilt over to the Father. 
I rejoiced today as I sat on that swing. 
I gave thanks for the beautiful sunrise. 
I gave thanks for the amazing porch. 
I thanked God for you my dear son. And the 17 years you were here.
They were wonderful years.
I am blessed to have had them.

I am growing closer to God each day.
He is my light and my song.
One of your dear friends went through the waters of baptism today.

He stepped into the path of the richness of Christ.
You were not far from my thoughts.

You entering the waters of baptism.
The glorious public alliance with Christ.
Such a great day. 
I still have that piece of paper you hold in your hand.

I hold the paper.
You hold the hand of the one who paid the price for you.

I miss you. 

I sat at your grave today and cried the tears of a mommy's broken heart.

Tears I have wanted to shed all weekend. 
Tears of a grateful heart for a new deck I don't deserve.
Tears for the body of Christ and Community that continues to hold us.
Tears of a heart that misses my mom; all the things I long to tell her.
Tears of a heart that wonders how long her farmer has.
And tears for you my boy.
My precious son.

Each day I will continue to hand over the reigns of my life.
Letting God guide my path.
He writes my daily list. 
Longing to bring light to hurting souls.
All my love,

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, 
giving thanks to God the Father through him.

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