Friday, July 25, 2014

It Is Well With Me. . . .Because Of Him

It's been a year. 
A year since we were outside harvesting the sunshine for winter. 
Working together. 
Spurred on by the holy spirit I went to the barn. 
2  kids off at camp.
The other 2, with friends. 
So I went to the barn. 
To be with my son and my farmer. 

I wrapped bales. 

I slowed the process. 
I wrote on bales.
Messages for the dark of winter.

I wrote on one bale in particular;

which we found months later.
When the battle of cancer versus chemo and radiation was waging. 
I didn't know, how precious this would become, that sunny day we baled. 
Grateful for a day of sunshine. 
My heart was full. 
I rejoiced. 
I prayed over and over those bales.
I wrote prayers of gratitude.
Begging God to reap a harvest where there seemed to be none. 
Little did I know how my world was about to shatter.

In a little over 48 hours I would never spend another moment with this beautiful red head. 
I am so glad I spent this day with him. 
We laughed. 
I wrote on those bales for all to see.
I thought when he was gone to boot camp there would be a great memory. 
I Love You Elijah!
He knew. 
And now he knows in full. 
He understands a mothers love even better than I do. 
The questions he wrestled with are answered. 
Oh, but how I long for this boy. 
Memories swirl in my head. 
I wonder how I can live another day without my son. 
And yet another day passes.
I am renewed. 
Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, 
they will walk and not be faint.

I am here. 
Breathing in and out.
Placing one foot in front of the other.
Seeking strength. 
Being filled.
Finding joy through this storm.
Yielding my spirit to the Giver of Life.
He is my strength, my life, my hope.

It is well with me. . . because of Him.

1 comment:

  1. Great post, Tammy. Thanks for allowing a glimpse into your world. I'm praying for you.